being still...

be still...

this is something that i have really been focusing on lately...in all the busyness of the day...sometimes this is the hardest thing to do...

i have noticed that even in my down times...i am not still...although my body may be...my mind is often racing...thoughts of what-ifs...thoughts of people...thoughts of dreams...just the brain racing around like there is no tomorrow...

but to simply sit and be still...and listen to the quiet...it is in these moments...that i find refuge...and peace...and contentment...for it is in these moments...of complete quiet...that i feel completely in sync with the Lord...just He & i...

as humans...i think it is only natural to fill in the quiet spaces...moments of silence between two people can serve as an awkward moment...or it could be a place of confort...knowing you can be with someone...and just be...no need for fillers...

my most important relationship is that of God & me...and the easiest thing to do...when i talk to Him...is to talk...to tell Him of all i'm thinking...all i'm feeling...all i'm hoping for...

the hardest part...is listening...just resting in Him...and letting His peace completely saturate me...my thoughts...my mind...

but it is in this place...that answers come...i can't explain how...i can't explain why...i just know...that it is in these moments...revelations are made...of what i need to do...what i need to say...what i need to be...

in sales...the good sales people are those that listen more than talk...my bosses would always tell me that this was why i was successful...

but yet...when it comes to my time with God...i can't seem to shut my mouth...and just listen...
after all these years...it is still something i struggle with...

but as in anything that i struggle with...i strive to work on the things i know i need to work on...
and even if one day from the next...i am "still" for five minutes longer...it is progress that i see...

to sit quiet...in the moment...and wait...so excruciating for me...and yet...so rewarding...

it's the little things...

i have always enjoyed "the little things"

those little things that people do for you...that lets you know...they are thinking of you and only you...that they care about you...that you matter...

those little things that let you know...that someone is listening to you...and validating your feelings...

i once dated a boy...i had told him in passing that late at nite when i would get home...my porch was dark...laughing at how sometimes it took me a few seconds to find the door knob...a week later...he gave me a little gift...and in it...was a key chain that had a little light...
the little things...thanks b...

or when i sick...and my doorbell rings...with a care package of chicken soup and medicine...
the little things...thanks p...

or when i was needing some help moving big stuff (i'm a girl after all) and without hesitation...my friend says he will be right over...
the little things...thanks s...

i could go on and on...of times...people have shown me love...by doing little things for me...to somehow make my day a little brighter...

and the truth is...that although these acts are called "the little things"...in fact...they end up being big things...because it all stems from someone in your life...caring enough to help you out with stuff...or just to let you know...hey you matter...and i wanted to let you know...or even better...i was just thinking about you...and wanted you to know...

and because i have been the recipient of so many "little things" moments...and knowing how it feels...i have strived to give back in that way...always...

today's "little thing" was a post on facebook...simple...but warming...

a friend wrote about himself..."he is packing for a trip to ca. to close a deal and see a beautiful woman"
the little things...

what "the little things" have taught me...is not to take anything for granted...and how it takes very little other than a little bit of effort and thought...to let those that you care for...know just that...that they are important to you...and that you are listening to them...

so today...i challenge you...do something little for someone you care for...
it's "the little things" that make this world a better place...
and you just never know...if your "little" act of kindness...may be just what that person needs today...

fried chicken...

i love when i can shock my mom...by little requests...just when she thinks she has me all figured out..i surprise her...i like that...

ok - crazy crazy for sure...but here it is february...and i am still (not every day...but periodically) celebrating my birthday from november...how cool is that? i have the best of friends & family...

one of which my mom & dad still owe (their words...not mine) me a birthday bash dinner...so they are wanting to take me to one of my fave restaurants...where my dad & i have our father/daughter lunches...insert an awwwww here ;o) (we even order the same dish...every time)

our schedules have been crazy...and when they are free...i am not...and when i am free...they are not...

well...i called my mom yesterday...and i told her that i have a different birthday wish...not to go to the restaurant...but i want a full blown fried chicken dinner with mashed potatoes...
"really??" she replied totally perplexed...

i have been dreaming about fried chicken for a while...i LOVE fried chicken...not the kfc kind...but true real home made fried chicken...ok...my mouth is watering as i type...

so my mom...knowing that i am health concious...says..."are you sure? because we are baking our chicken"

i said..."no mom...fried fried fried chicken...and mashed potatoes...if i'm gonna eat bad...i want to go all the way!"

so that is what i will be feasting on in the next few weeks...

there are two places that i have loved fried chicken...one...of course...is my mom's...and the second was at perry's...a restaurant in san francisco that i used to go to alot when i worked in the area...

these two places have the best fried chicken! ever!!

so i am excited...i honestly do not remember the last time i had fried chicken...and i cannot wait for my birthday dinner to get here...hopefully she will make enough for me to take home the leftovers!

crazy cats...

wanted to share a video my girlfriend sent me...completely makes me laugh...
my two cats have both done some stuff that has made me wonder if i should video tape them...
they are definately my source of entertainment when i am home...

i'm thinking of training my youngest cat sasha with stunt #2...right now he is not cooperating as i would have hoped... :-)

enjoy!

my calmer of the storms...

yesterday was a really rough day for me...there are times in our life...i think...we may think we are handling all the juggling...all the pressures...all the noise...all the people and things tugging at us this way and that...all the stresses of life...

yesterday i reached my limit...

my breakdown moment came from my mom...a woman who loves me SO much...but a simple comment...in her moment of meaning well...that i am positive i read way more into than i needed to...but it was at this moment that i knew...that i once again...was doing too much...on my own...

and i found myself playing this song over and over and over again...

sometimes i forget...just for a moment...that He still has everything under control...and He is the calmer of my storms...

"Calmer of the Storm"

Downhere

When everything is wrong

The day has passed and nothing's done

And the whole world seems against me

When I'm rolling in my bed,

there's a storm in my head

I'm afraid of sinking in despair.

Teach me, Lord to have faith

In what You're bringing me will

Change my life and bring You glory

There on the storm I am learning to let go

Of the will that I so long to control

There may I be in Your arms eternally

I thank you, Lord,

You are the calmer of the storm.

You rebuke the wind and the waves

Once again I find I'm amazed by the power of Your will

'Cause I'm a child of little faith

I feel the wind and forget Your grace

And You say, "Peace, be still."

Teach me, Lord to have faith

In what You're bringing me will

Change my life and bring You glory

There on the storm I am learning to let go

Of the will that I so long to control

There may I be in Your arms eternally

I thank you, Lord,

You are the calmer of the storm.

Oh when the torment blows

The middle of the sea.

May I never trust, never trust in me.

'Cause there in Your arms I find

No tragedy.

There on the storm I am learning to let go

The white wave's high, it's crashing o'er the deck

And I don't know where I go

Where are You Lord, is my ship going down?

The mast is gone so throw the anchor

Should I jump and try to swim to land?

There on the storm, teach me God to understand

Of Your will that I just cannot control.

There may I see all Your love protecting me

I thank you Lord,

You are the calmer of the storm.

longings...

longings longings longings...

ugh...

coming face to face with the fact that there are empty places in our lives that haven't been filled...can be...well..how shall we say it...painful? excruciating? numbing?

for whatever reason, this has been the year i have awakened to longing...i am looking at my own personal yearnings...desires...wishes...those places in the deep part of my soul that feel hollow and empty and unsatisfied...

i'm not gonna lie and say it has been great...it has brought pain and sadness in some areas..but...me being the glass-half-full kinda gal...i can say...with total honesty that allowing myself to listen to my longings...rather than running from them...has radically changed me...

we all yearn for more...wanting more than we have...more love, more enjoyment, more passion, more hope, more rest...whatever the "more" is...we all yearn...

we all crave for more...that hope of finding something that will satisfy the gnawing we feel in the stomach of our soul...

what i know for sure...is that we were made for more than this world has to offer us...

i believe that our yearnings, hopes, longings...that if we really look hard at them...what we are saying is that there just isn't enough of whatever it is we are craving...
be it...love, peace, hope, friendship or intimacy...there isn't enough of it on this earth to completely satisfy us...i believe we will always want more...

i believe that God has designed us to want more out of life...and sometimes...we are not satisfied until we get it...our prayers may consist of pleading with God...asking Him for the things we so desparately long for...still...we are left longing...

talk about frustration! a no-win situation...i had always looked at my longings as things that i needed to overcome...that i would either get it...or not...and learn to live with it...

what we don't have shapes us more than what we have...those holes...the areas that are not filled...i have started looking at them in a new way...our longings show that we have a hunger...a hunger for something...this hunger can drive you to frustration...or...it drives us to the only one who can truly satisfy...our Lord...that is...if...we listen...

finding the courage to stare into the deep "holes" of my own soul has fostered a dependency on God that i have not known before...

i have come to the realization that i may not get everything i long for in this world...but in that...i am learning that first...there will never be the absence of pain...there is no life without pain...and for me...i am learning that getting things easily will never make me into the woman God is calling me to be...

what i know now...is that there are areas in my life that i cannot get filled outside of God...i can do some temporary filling...but not the kind my soul craves...the longing to be filled and the longing to be known...all draw me to Him with an intense pull that began the day He made me...

i believe...

there are those emails you get once in a while...from a friend...an acquaintance...the sender is not as important as the message...

what still amazes me...is the timing of these...they always seem to hit...right when you need to hear it...a God thing? yeah...i believe so...

reminders...we all need them...in our crazed busy world...to stop and remember...what is important...what not to take for granted...

i got this one this morning...


I Believe

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born
A Death Certificate shows that we die
Pictures show that we lived!

Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I Believe ...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe....
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.