preparations are under way...

this is the year...my 30th high school reunion...i still can't believe it...it just doesn't feel like that many years have gone by...most times i still feel like i'm 30...am i in denial?

the thing that excites me most about the reunion...is the people...we've all turned out pretty well...and we are all rallying to make this a reunion that will be a time of togetherness...but also a time to give back...and that makes me excited...

i have been part of the planning committee since the beginning...and what started out as a nite for our reunion...has now evolved to a weekend event...

so here is where we stand now...

friday nite - we will be a part of the big football game...all the players will be announced at half-time...come to find out...that our class has been the only class that was undefeated...who knew? apparently our class is a big deal in sports discussions...all i know...is that my brother was attending another high school...which was our biggest rival...and being that we were both seniors (another story) i was thrilled when my school won the little big game that year...

now this is where it gets exciting...we have decided as a whole to spend a day (looks like about 100 of us) and do some work around the school...basically giving back...we haven't ironed out the details yet...but we will pretty much do anything...whether it is picking up trash, painting...whatever the school needs...

saturday nite will be the big party...location has been secured...save the date flyers are being made...

and sunday...we will have a huge picnic...with everyone...including the kids...at the local park where most of us spent a lot of our time...

i am thrilled to be part of the planning committee...and looking forward to an unforgettable weekend at the latter part of this year...seeing some that i never lost touch with...seeing others that i reconnected with in the last few years via facebook...and those that i haven't seen since graduating high school...eek! =)

forgiveness and longing for reconciliation...

as i have been diligently (insert smile here) cleaning out my home...room by room...closet by closet...and drawer by drawer...i have stopped at moments...and read over something...or took in a lovely moment from a photograph...or in most cases...thought...why am i holding on to this?? which is a fabulous attitude to have in my quest for a clutter free life...

i did come across an interesting snipet that i had written down on a piece of paper...unfortunately...i have no idea where i got it from...must have been a book i read...but i am not sure...but its words really stayed on my mind for the last few days...

here it is...

joseph was reconciled with his brothers when they came to egypt in search of grain. by the time his brothers reached egypt, he was able to stand before them and confront them because he had no inner feelings that would keep him from having a relationship of unity and peace with them.
forgiveness is unilateral. you can forgive even if [someone] never admits [their wrong doing], is never sorry, and never changes. but reconciliation requires both people’s commitment to recovery, honesty, repentance, forgiveness, and communication. even then, reconciliation is a long and difficult process of breaking down barriers and building trust.

so you may be wondering what or more specifically "who" i was thinking about...the thing is...there are very very few people in my life (i can pretty much count them on one hand) who i have had forgiveness for but not reconciliation...

for many years...i never thought there was much difference between reconciliation and forgiveness...in my heart, it all kind of meant the same thing – letting go of pain that someone had inflicted on me...usually this involved some type of “making up” process involving apologies, sometimes tears, and a hug to make everything alright...

i would say it was about 10 years ago or so...that i heard a sermon...that spoke so deeply to me...about forgiveness...and reconciliation...and that the two may not necessarily intertwine...

several years ago, somebody hurt me in a very painful, inexcusable way...for months, i didn’t allow myself to work through the pain as i needed to...but i finally did...and it was difficult...because it was one of the few times that there was no reconciliation...in the last year...circumstances (which were mostly out of my control) caused me to stare at this wound square in the face...

as strange as it sounds, i’ve never doubted that i forgave this person...i feel fortunate that, for the most part, forgiveness comes easy to me...

however, as i was processing through healing during this time, i began questioning if i really had forgiven this person...sure, the scabs had been peeled off and the wounds were fresh – and it hurt…badly, all over again...

a dear friend who was helping me through this sent me an email...he encouraged me and said that what i was experiencing wasn’t me being bitter or holding on (which was what i was afraid i was doing) but that i was desiring reconciliation...

i wanted for this person to own up to the mistake and for everything – painful as it would be – to be okay again...

and i wanted for the relationship to be harmonized and restored completely...

and then i came across the piece of paper...

so as i read it...and thought about it...i realized a few things...or maybe i was reminded of a few things...

you may not ever be reconciled with a person that hurt you (or that you hurt)...

that part takes both people to work through...

forgiveness is a necessary...but not a sufficient condition for reconciliation...

however, forgiveness is a decision that you make, and continue to make, regardless of the other person’s choice...

and through the cross...and grace...and love...you can...

open hearts...

i started up with a new bible study last nite...and well...just like i expected...the first nite did not disappoint...i may write more about it in another post...but for now i wanted to focus on our hearts...and when they are open to receive...

i grew up in a christian home...so i guess i could say that this is all i've known...but that would be incorrect...i mean...i recognize the blessing in that at a very young age i was introduced to Christ, His love for me...and all that that entails...

but i still needed to make a decision on my own...not my parents, family, friends...but me...would i serve Him? did i want to live this so called christian life that i was born into?

my decision was yes...but not without periods of frustration, questioning, battles...i think that really happens in anyone's life...but for me...knowing that i had a Savior that i could come to...well...it goes without saying that as hard as some times were...they were lifted when i came to Christ...

so back to the heart...i think one of the things that truly amazes me about God is His love...His patience...His kindness...the fact that he doesn't push Himself on others...He waits...quietly waits...

there were time in my life where i felt something was so right...relationship wise...and i pushed...i pushed my way in...and it ended badly...with a lot of hurt...and broken relationships...it just doesn't work...unless someone wants to come and be with you...you can't force it...

i usually think i have an open heart when it comes to the Lord...but looking back...that is not always the case...my heart may be open to things that i deem important...or things that i "wish" were...

in the back of my mind...i know that i know that the Lord's way for me is the best way...no need to analyze, srutinize, or discuss...but my human side still fights it at times...dispite knowing this...

when i truly open my heart...and let the Lord soothe it, mold it, make it into what He knows it needs to be...wonderful things happen...

it really doesn't matter what the Bible study topic is, or the sermon topic, or the song...open heart means God diving in...and making something beautiful of my life...

25 beautiful phrases...

meeting people in a small world...

as i wrote on friday...i was at a conference which was throughout the weekend...i came home so energized and motivated...but more importantly...i met some incredible people...three from argentina!! how cool is that?

it still amazes me how small this world really is...when you meet people and start talking to them...and realize you know people in common...or even more bizarre...your paths had crossed at another time and place...

for example...one woman i met a few weeks back at a baby shower...knows my cousin...and so that is how we originally started talking...realized we were in the same business...planned to meet up in the next few weeks...and...there she was sitting behind me at the conference...

another woman...who i met this weekend...lives in southern california...but graduated from my high school...as we started talking...we knew so many of the same people...and then come to find out...that there is a two year age difference...so we were attending the same high school for two years!

another woman is married to a guy i went to school with...

isn't that amazing??

i truly love meeting people...learning about their backgrounds...how they got to where they are...

as in my new friend who i met this weekend...originally from brazil...and now living in israel...and an image consultant...how do you go from brazil to israel?? and we meet in buringame, ca?

my weekend was incredible...i walked away with some great new ideas for my business...a pocket full of new contacts in other areas of the country...AND new friends...that will become part of my circle...

love that!

a day of learning...

oh my gosh...i had planned to wake up super early and post something before i took off to an all day conference...but...i think i was giving myself too much credit to "get it all done"...

so here it is...i spent the whole day at an aici conference...which is the association for image consultants...it will be an all weekend event...

first day was absolutely fabulous...so much great information...and so many new ideas to implement for my business...so 2010 is off to a good start...

and...i met some really incredible women that are in the business...love times like this...to be able to share business tips...what has worked and what hasn't...

women are typically known to be caddy and gossipy (not my words) but this was a room full of women willing to help each other grow and succeed...

what could be better?

and...it was like a fashion show...every woman so eloquently dressed in her own unique style...love it!

happy that i "look" honest...

so back in december i wrote about my one friday nite stress...i of course got the problem taken care of that following monday...i mean...i can't exactly be driving around with no lghts...right?

and then i kinda forgot about it...until i got that reminder notice...so i had until january 25th to pay my $25.00 fine (cracks me up that i am paying a fine for fixing a ticket) and proof that i in fact did fix the error of my ways...AND $25.00 sounds a lot better than $174.00 after the 25th...sheesh...

now - this is what happens when you "half" read a letter addressed to you...all i looked at were the times...and they were ridonkulous! either show up between 7:30 to 8:30 am on mon, tues and thurs...or lunch time on wed...friday...closed...wow...lots of options there!

of course...time was running out...so yesterday...amidst the pouring rain...i headed over to the municipal court...and wouldn't you know it...the ONE day i show up is the ONE day that they are closed...yes...apparently...every 3rd wed. of the month...they are closed...great...

so last nite...as i looked at the letter one more time...so i would know exactly what time to show up...oh...would you look at that? those hours are for if you are wanting to fight your ticket...not to pay...if you just want to pay your ticket...come by anytime between 8am and 4pm...

nice...

so i venture out today...i actually kept stalling..because the torrential rains continued...and i kept hoping they would subside...so by 3pm...i had no choice...downpour or not...i had to head over there...

as i got to the municipal court...i had to be screened in...can't have weapons...
as i stood in line...the line stood still...

and then...finally...it was my turn...and it was now 3:45pm...i handed the clerk my ticket, my "proof" that i had the item fixed...and my check...she looked it over...and let me know that she was not able to accept the payment because i also need to have the ticket signed by a police officer...

i smiled at her...(yes i did) and asked her if i can pay for this at the police station after i get a signature...and she let me know that i had to come back and pay for it at the municipal court...

i mean...the thing is...it is not her fault...she doesn't make the rules...and hello...who waited till the 21st to pay a ticket that will be considered late by the 25th??

i smiled again...and told her to have a wonderful day...

as i started walking off...she says to me..."you might ask the sheriff at the front door if he might sign for it...and if he does...just come back to my window"...

things are looking up!

so i approach the sheriff...and ask him politely if he would please come outside with me and "check" that i have in fact fixed my lights...and he says..."in the rain?"
and i smiled...and replied "i have an umbrella you could borrow"...

he looked at me and said "you look honest...i trust you"...

signed ticket...paid...case closed...

thank you Jesus...