trusting...

websters dictionary definition of trust:

: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

: one in which confidence is placed

trust has been a big topic in my life as of late...whether in conversation...popping up over and over in reading the bible...devotionals...

the thing is...i can say i trust the Lord...but saying it and really doing it...well...sometimes...they are worlds apart...if i look at the definition in websters...there would be no one closer that i have assured reliance on...then the Lord...

then why the fear? why the worry? i say i trust...but how much do i really trust?

it is a daily struggle for me...or i should say...a daily discipline...to be in check with myself...am i trusting completely...or taking things into my own hands...sometimes i do the latter...without realizing...but it is clearly a step of not trusting...

i am thankful that the Lord understands us...our human-ness...our inability to be perfect...such as He is...

what i do know...is that when i am fully trusting...things always work out...always...perhaps not in the way i had hoped...or thought...but it somehow works out...and sometimes...that isn't apparent until way later...

so i rely on past times where i trusted...and even though in the present...seems like there is no answer...no way out...no understanding...He has proven himself to be reliable...each and very single time...and if i am going to put my trust in someone...an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone...only God fits that perfectly...

pssst...

a bigger dream...

my heart is very heavy this morning...seems a slew of friends...and family are struggling...all of which...none are related to the other...many have struggled for months...some for years...and are losing hope...

i pray that the Lord touches them in a way like never before...

and for those of you struggling...always remember...

"God can dream a bigger dream for me...for you...then you could ever dream for yourself..."

so don't lose hope...don't lose faith...it is in the bleakest hours that God's love shines the brightest...

ever have one of those days?

the Lord is glorified...

even in times of sadness...loss...

as i watched the funeral of whitney houston on saturday...on of the reporters said the following..."i don't care what anyone says...cissy houston brought the world to church this morning"

yes...i agree...

in a time of pure grief...this wonderful woman who loves the Lord...in planning her daughter's funeral...had it held in the church that whitney had grown up in...yes...it could have been in a huge stadium...or event center...as was being considered...but she chose the church...and even though the actual church where the funeral was held...is indeed a building...so really...i feel it wouldn't have mattered where the actual event took place...the fact remains...God was there...and He was glorified...

every song...every word...pointed to the Savior...i truly felt like i had been at an incredible church service...praising Him through song and words...

no one will ever really know what the last hours of whitney's life were...or where she was at...and really...it is not for us to know...what i do know...is that through her death...many heard of the Lord...and how He is there to comfort...to protect...to provide...

in all things...may His name be glorified...

those unexpected calls...

...don't you love them? the ones that seem to come just at the right time...at the right place...this friend...whose call i received today...i think it has been three years since we spoke...

seems crazy when we started realizing it...she is one of those friends that we just pick up where we left off...so it is a bit surprising that it had gone that long...we had exchanged a few emails...we knew what the other was doing...well...for the most part...

but three years? kind of scary how quickly life passes us by...but kind of incredible...to have those friends...that you know that even though you may not be talking...you are thinking of each other...often...praying for each other...often...

but there is nothing like the call...the unexpected call...to hear the voice...the laugh...to feel that instant connection...to catch up...to realize...how blessed you are to have some pretty incredible friends in your life...even those that you don't talk to everyday...

what is it about?

the whole valentines day thing cracks me up...usually there are the two extremes...one either totally loves the day...or absolutely hates it...which are you?

i mean yes...it is a deeply commercialized day...and hallmark, sees candies and flower shops make a killing...but i like the idea of a "love" day...although...i think love should be shown every single day...not just on february 14...

and then there are the singles...the ones who yearn for someone...to love them...to think about them...to be romantic with...and i won't lie...i yearn for that too...sometimes...like when i have an event to go to...and i would know that i have a date...because it would be someone who loved me...and would go to said event...not because they really wanted to...but loved me enough to go for me...but then there are those days...where i am plopped on the couch watching some marathon run of project runway...and i know that the remote is mine...and no one will be asking to change the channel...

but i don't lose sleep over what i do or don't have...love doesn't always come in the way we expected it to come...

movies...the love stories...and in books...give us some perception of what we "think" love should be...but just because your life in no way resembles a scene from "the notebook" at this moment in time...or any time for that matter...doesn't mean you don't have a love story...it just may look different...maybe it is unfolding...if you will...in process, or whatever...

the thing is...my life is full of love...it is a gift that is at once and the same time both excruciating and delicious...it means my heart is wrenched beyond what i think it can bear but it also means it is full beyond my own capacities...i am given opportunities to love all over every single day and even when i don't take those opportunities...even when i really suck at love...i wake up again the next morning and there are more chances...more opportunities...and i am refilled with love to give...like magic...

and you know what? i'm ok...and i'm glad i'm ok...but it doesn't mean i don't wonder...it doesn't mean i don't hope...it doesn't mean i don't want...and while it would be nice if that special someone was here already...i've got plenty to do until then...

maybe right now love feels scarce...but i promise you...it's not...

happy valentines day...

a man is not where he lives, but where he loves... ~ latin proverb

how great Thou art...

O Lord my God,

When I in awesome wonder

Consider all

The world Thy Hand hath made,

I see the stars,

I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy pow'r throughout

The universe displayed;




Refrain:

Then sings my soul,

My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!

Then sings my soul,

My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!

(by carl boberg)

keep singing...

sometimes...all that is left to do...is to crawl in the Savior's lap...and rest a while...and...well...sing...this song gets me every time i hear it...

keep singing - mercy me

Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
You're the one who's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap?
I don't wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Oh, You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing

celebrating the super bowl weekend...

my close friends know that i know absolutely nothing about football...more importantly...i don't care to...just doesn't interest me...so...yes...there was big hoopla this weekend...the game...etc...

i wasn't planning to watch the game...although i would have liked to see the half-time show...and the commercials...but alas...i wasn't home to do that...

but i did partake of a weekend of super bowl dining...which basically means...eating everything that isn't that good for you...i was especially thrilled that avocados were on sale at the grocery store...for .50 each...what a bargain...

so...i had...guacamole with chips...pizza...and lots of dessert...all weekend...

time to get back on track...but i figured if everyone else was having a super bowl weekend...why couldn't i?

when disappointments come...

...as they surely will...what is your first reaction to them?

every time something thwarts your plans or desires...use that as a reminder to talk to God...this practice has several benefits...

the first benefit...although quite obvious...is that talking to God actually blesses you and strengthens your relationship with Him...what could be better?

the second benefit...you will find that disappointments...instead of dragging you down...are transformed into opportunities for good...this transformation removes the sting from difficult circumstances...making it possible to be joyful in the midst of adversity...

begin by practicing this discipline in all the little disappointments of daily life...it is often these minor setbacks that draw you away from His presence...when you reframe setbacks as opportunities...you find that you gain much more then you have lost...after practicing this...you will find that you can accept major losses in this positive way as well... "Jesus Calling - Devotional"

i am not skilled...

...for what? you may ask...

i saw this as a status update on facebook...no author...but found it rather profound...i don't even need to add my own thoughts...meaning...it says it all...

"I am not skilled to understand, what God has willed, what God has planned. I only know at His right hand, stands one who is my Savior."