calgon, take me away...

one of my favorite simple pleasures is taking a bubble bath...there is nothing more relaxing then soaking in a tub - bubbles all around you...i go all out...the candles... the music....sigh...if it wasn't so hot outside...i may have been enticed to go soak in the tub now...
but i regress...

my days in corporate america - there were many stressful days - i actually trived on that (i know...kinda sick) but there were many a time that the people i worked with in the office would hear me say "calgon, take me away" somehow that statement made me take a breath, relax and refocus...and it made those around me laugh...ahhh the sound of laughter...

for those of you who do not get the term...back in the 60's (my mother must have told me about them...how else would i know?) ;o) there were commercials for calgon bubble bath & soap products...they would show stressed out women with kids or jobs...and there escape was the bubble bath...so the catch phrase was "calgon, take me away"

one of my dearest friends has been having a real rough go of it...things completely out of her control have consumed her for well over a year now. she is a very very private person...and doesn't talk much about it...but every once in a while she'll need a break or an escape...and we venture out to do mindless activities to get her mind off of things...(at least that is my goal)

yesterday she called and asked if i was doing anything and if i would want to go check out the sale at bloomingdales...shopping? sale?? nice words!

we spent a few hours finding treasures for her...(ok...i found one for myself) and then ended our time at an outdoor cafe restaurant for a nice cold beverage (it was hitting the 90's)

we headed home after that...and as she pulled into my driveway and i got out of my car...i say to her "i love that i am the person you call when you just need to get out" to which she replied "you're my calgon!"

wow - can't get a better compliment than that...

mama's boys

i woke up this morning to whiskers prickling at my face and the sound of serious sniffing...sasha...my youngest cat was obviously annoyed that it was now 7:09 am and his food bowl was empty...and me...the one who fills the bowl was not stirring...maybe he was sniffing for any sign of life...possible concern that his owner was not moving...

meanwhile, chester my oldest cat was in slumber land - snuggly curled up right next to me...i could feel the warmth...

i tried not to move...to see how long sasha would show concern...but i smiled...and he noticed movement! aha! food was in his near horizon!

sasha & chester (yes i have two!) have brought me much joy in the years i have had them. chester was an "only child" for many many years before sasha came along...sasha came along because i was traveling alot and didn't want chester alone for weeks at a time...

their initial meeting didn't go well - chester hissed...sasha just wanted to play...chester had been king of the roost - so to speak...so who was this new addition?

through the years - sasha has had many ailments...but what amazed me is how spunky he has remained...when he was about 3 yrs old - the vet informed me that he had glaucoma in his right eye and would need to have it removed...talk about stress! and yes...i cried when the vet told me about the procedure and that there was always a small chance that he may not make it through....

when i left sasha at the vet...and came home...chester was beside himself...because by this time...he had grown accustomed to his younger brother...and things were WAY to quiet when sasha was not in the house...

sasha made it through the surgery - he now winks at me non-stop...which i love...and his personality and spunk did not change...

i smiled when sasha was busy sniffing for life - because for those who have met him...his sniff is pretty loud (alas - another one of his ailments)...and he doesn't care if he crawls over you to get to what he wants...that is why i smiled...

the personalities of my two boys are as different as they could possibly be...chester is now about 16 yrs old...i see the arthritus kicking in as he walks slower up the stairs...and sasha - well sasha is sasha - although much younger than chester...he now rules the roost...personally, i think chester just lets him...

as much as they fight...the next moment you see them together...curled up in the big cat bed...inseparable

and yes...they live a pretty plush life...but when they automatically crawl into my lap whenever i sit down...those are the moments that i love...they are definately momma's boys!

finding solitude

by henri nouwen

"all human beings are alone. no other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. the question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. it requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel. but wise choices will help us find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love."

i am a single woman, and living a life gifted to me by God. I have a wonderful family and incredible friends. I have had opportunities to travel to many beautiful places around the world...

but singleness is hard...really hard.

the kind of companionship i ache for some days...i don't have...somedays it hits me harder than others...maybe i'll see a loving couple happily enjoying the day...or perhaps a movie prompts some thought (i know...its a movie ;o)), or maybe some great thing happens to me...and i want to call that "special someone" in my life...

this feeling constantly drives me to seek answers from God, and the answer i consistently receive is "keep hoping."

what kind of response is that?

not knowing the answers invites the practice of faith in one of the most raw areas of my life. though it is pretty pointless to use my limited understanding to critique God's plans...and though i still often ask why...in my solitude i am learning to focus more on what my purpose is during this "season" in my life. what is God creating in me through this experience?

in Mark 9:17-27, a distraught father brings his suffering son to Jesus to be healed. Jesus asks the man if he believes his boy can be healed, and the man replies, in desperation, "i do believe; help my unbelief!"

i love this prayer; it is so wonderfully honest. in our darkest times, when we come to the end of ourselves and have tasted loneliness past what we think we are able to bear, we too can cry out to Jesus for help and hope.

i've had nights of such loneliness and disappointment that i've wrestled with God and refused to let go. i felt i knew how things should work out...and frustrated that things were not happening the way i envisioned. although i feel wounded at times, i know that He's with me, because Psalm 34:18 says, "the Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
as i cry out for faith, i come to know His broken heart in ways only the brokenhearted can. after all, God knows what it is to long for something you don't have; he's longed for the affection of his loved ones for centuries.

God has made me the woman i am; years of being single have allowed me the opportunity to learn who this woman is. i have learned that it is much easier and less exhausting to just be myself. God knows better than anyone who I really am. i believe He wants a man to love me for the woman He made me to be. He knows when i give who i really am to the right man, the groundwork is laid out for a powerful union. i am finding freedom in allowing others to know me for who i am.

Jeremiah 29:11 "for i know the plans i have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah's words are a reminder from the Lord that whatever my future holds, it's in His hands.

in the meantime, God continues to build my faith, increase my reliance on Him, and gently reveal to me who i am - a woman with a greater capacity for love and a greater capacity to bring Him glory.

the innocence of a child

i spent about 3 hrs shopping for one of my newest clients yesterday...

back to when we met...i was referred to mrs c. by a friend of mine who LOVES to promote me...(thanks shannon!) mrs c. hired me to help update her daughter becky's wardrobe...becky is 21 yrs old and has autism...mrs c. felt that her daughter looked like she was dressed by a 55 yr. old woman - her mom.

when i went over to their home to meet them...mrs c. told me that becky was finishing up her lunch and would come into the living room when she was done...we sat and chatted about becky's activities...and what she needs...

then becky came into the room...she came right up to me...gave me a big hug & a kiss on the cheek...and proceeded to sit right next to me...you gotta love that...

becky is a beautiful girl with such innocence - it grabbed at me...this innocence - the one we all long for...the surprise in every situation - they way children look at things in such wonder...

mrs c. asked becky if she knew why i was there...and becky says "closet"...
mrs c. asks "what about the closet?"
and becky says "closet clean-up"

the next few hours were spent doing a closet audit...and really looking at what becky had that we could build on...her mom's goal was to take becky from dressing like a young child and dress her like the young lady she is now...

obviously there are many challenges that go along with a child with autism...for becky - alot of it is buttons & tying, when to take the sweater off, what top matches those pants...things we don't even think about...(well most of us) ;o)

becky does not think about fashion - but her mom wants her to look nice...

mrs c. was most excited about the look book that i will create for becky...a book just for her - with pictures of all her clothes already in outfits...all becky needs to do is look through her book - and decide what outfit she wants to wear...and it is put together for her...

made me think about the book that i run to - when i need some direction...the Bible, God's word is always there..ready to give me direction and perspective...how much more i need to run to it first...when trying to grapple with decisions & answers.

i love that the innocence of a child can teach you so much, warm your heart & make you feel loved...all at once!

my first post...

what if no one reads it? what if they do?? i have wanted to blog for quite some time...through the years i have journaled many times...and realized that it was during those times...i somehow had a little better perspective of things...be it that it went from my thoughts to pen...somehow it helped getting the thoughts out...


so i guess in part this blog is for me...and if some choose to read it...great...if my struggles & joys help someone along the way...even if only to smile...then even better!

so what will i write about? stay tuned...