here we are in mid february...and i'm not going to lie...we have had some of THE best weather...truly like summer...and it lasted...for several weeks...and of course...my heart was happy...i love the sunshine...the love the warmth...the hotter the better...but now we are looking at a cold front coming in...and a big rain storm...not my favorite...i'll admit...and it's a huge change in weather...not a slight change...
but i've been thinking a lot about the seasons...and how each one has its purpose...when we've not had rain in many, many days...or weeks...or months...an area can be affected...and cause a drought...we need the rain...so as much as it is not my preference...i welcome it...
but i wonder how i will feel...after days and days of continued rain...that is how i've been thinking about seasons...whether the rain...as the weather...or rain in your life...what is the usual cycle?
in previous times...when we were in a drought...there were times where it got so bad...water rationing took affect...you couldn't wash your car...you had alternate days in which you could water your yard...it was pretty serious...so i would find myself...hoping for rain...and happy when the rain finally came...i rejoiced in it...i thanked God for it...i even prayed that it would keep on raining...i had hope that this rain would begin to replenish our water-level deficit...come on...rain...i thought...and as i would load my car with bags of groceries in the car...i tried not to be grumpy about the rain...i tried to smile even as my hair was getting wet...even as i would see little kids splashing in puddles...soaking their shoes...every time i felt myself getting grumpy and wishing it would stop raining...i focused instead on how much we needed the rain...and how this rain was an answer to prayer...and yet...i must confess that after it went on for a while...i was anxious for the rain to go away and dry weather to return...even though i knew that God was giving us what we needed most...i started looking backwards...
and then God gave me a vision of how much i was like the israelites as they wandered in the desert...the scripture tells us that oppressive egypt was starting to look good to them again...they had prayed for deliverance from slavery and God had provided it...He had answered their prayers and given them what they needed...yet as day after day of walking and wandering began to take its toll...they started to forget God's goodness and concentrate on their circumstances instead...oh...to be back in egypt...they thought...
how often do we do this? we ask for deliverance from something...we are thankful for the deliverance...but then as we walk through the hard parts of actually being delivered...the flesh begins to cry out in opposition...we start drifting backwards in our spirits to that place that was familiar...instead of walking obediently towards where God wants to take us...
i know this has been true with me...i pray for deliverance from whatever...be it financial...or the way i choose to live my single life...and God begins to show me a way out...yet as i have walked through what it has taken to be debt-free...i have often caught myself looking back at when i used to charge things freely...with no thought as to how i would pay for it...oh...how nice that was to just be able to go buy something without having to scrounge and save...i find myself thinking...or i think...when asked out...yeah...i know he is not a believer...but it has been a while since i've been on a date...and even some of the christian men i've dated showed less integrity...but God calls me to a higher standard...
i don't want to look backwards or give into the comforts my flesh craves...i want to push forward...straining for the prize God has for me...i want to seek Him with all my heart...no matter where that takes me...i want to live in that sometimes uncomfortable place of walking in total obedience...i want to focus on His plan and not my comfort level when things get hard...i want to live a life that seeks Him instead of a life spent looking backwards...i want to thank Him in all circumstances and to trust completely in Him...and when the rain comes pouring down...i want to choose to dance in the puddles instead of longing for the shelter of past sunny days...
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