hiding the junk...

it started with the file cabinet in my office...this last week i made some major progress in cleaning out old files...like going through files that have been hanging in their own special folders in the file cabinet...still neat and tidy...but after years of not really going through it...well...it was time...i wasn't sure of what was in there...to tell you the truth...

it truly is amazing what we end up keeping...what accumulates in our homes after years of living...years of collecting...years of filing...years of "putting away"...i was on such a roll...that after the file cabinet...i started tackling the whole office...

i remember the time my younger brother & his wife had put their home on the market...my sister-in-law went through a major purging to make the home look clean...not an ounce of clutter was seen...and through those weeks of open house...they had to keep it that way...let me tell you...that is not an easy thing to do...when everyday life happens...

as i was going through my office...i imagined if i was getting ready to move...that was the kind of mindset i wanted in purging so many collected items...it's amazing how much more junk i notice when i think about strangers walking through and evaluating the home...as i cleaned out and threw away an obscene amount of really unnecessary stuff (i.e. junk)...my first thought was...i have watched enough hgtv to make this process a little bit easier...and i was thankful that all that time watching episodes was finally put into use...i knew ahead of time that less stuff equals more open space...without the visual interruption of clutter...the eye can take in the full size of the room...the bones and beauty of the space...

as in a staged home...we all know that buyers appreciate a clean slate...it's easier to see the good stuff without all the junk around...i know this...but in the midst of all the cleaning out...i still questioned if people really care...

let me be a little more specific...could a buyer overlook the winter coats and hats dropped in the bottom of a pantry floor? would they mind empty video game boxes stacked neatly in the corner? would they look in a junk drawer to see empty medicine bottles, matches, broken sunglasses, playing cards and takeout menus...i mean really...doesn't everyone have a junk drawer? surely...visitors won't mind boxes of winter clothes clogging up the closet space...

boy...sounds like i'm the one moving...but alas...tis not me...this is really what i am getting at...

during the process...of me cleaning as if i was going to have an copen house...i couldn't help but wonder if it was time for a spiritual open house...i sense that i've been storing unsightly clutter for far too long...it's a lot of junk really...i think i could make a better use of the space if i'd just let some things go...i'm afraid when people look at my life they see spiritual clutter (i.e. sin)...can they appreciate the bones and beauty of the work of God in my life or does their eye stop on all the junk? do they see an overcrowded life that squeezes out the space God longs to fill with His peace...presence and holiness? will they notice good but unnecessary things that fill the void?

let me be a little more specific...could someone look past my too-often indulged habit of gossip? oh i tell myself it isn't gossip...but it is...will they really mind the irritability i display with someone...and what about the petty jokes made at someone's expense? i know they will look at me and see gluttony, pride, a love of television and a lack of discipline...but doesn't everyone have stuff they struggle with? do they wonder about a woman who has lead small group...taught sunday school...sings on the worship team...but has a hard time regularly sitting and being still before the Lord?

my personal challenge for the next few days is to look at my life not the way a perfect stranger would...but the way a Perfect Savior would...it's unlikely He will look past the things that i'm far too complacent about...once i've taken a spiritual inventory i'm not going to just hide the junk...i don't know about you...but that junk always seems to reappear and at the worst possible time...no...i'm going to do my best to let my junk go...basically...i'm moving closer to my Father...here i grow...