sometimes when i look back at my life...even in the last year...i am amazed at the growth...the healing...the revelations...i love looking back at situations...and seeing how fully God was present in the midst of hurt...of pain...of rejection...sometimes i wonder why...when i am in a new situation...my first thought is not thinking of how He has always been there...hopefully one day..that part will be the first that enters my mind...
i am thankful for the lessons i have had in life...for they made me stronger...but much more than that...they allowed me to see...that in the midst of them...my Lord was in the center of all of it...
here is a snapshot of my life last year...
there i was, like a kitten trying to untangle a mess of yarn...trying to find one end of the chain that had wrapped itself around my heart...i was just beginning to wonder if i would ever be free of the pain...when my thoughts were interrupted by Your glorious presence...
You saw that my heart was in trouble...and You rescued me...came down...broke the chains...and set me free...You knew that i would never be able to free myself...not by might...not by power...not by emotional manipulation or intellectual rationalization...no...but simply by the Spirit doing His work...
He is at work even today...touching...prodding...digging...cleansing...not stopping until He is finished...the Spirit labors even while we sleep...breathing fresh life back into members too weary to stretch...exercising spiritual muscles atrophied from lack of use as we try to solve our problems in the flesh...stirring up the Word...rehearsing God's promises to us...even in our dreams...singing songs in the Spirit and in the understanding until we join in...
no...the Spirit will not let you rest in your despair...He grabs an arm and coaxes you toward the finish line...come on...come on...to she that endures...the prize will be given...i can smell the victory...feel the freedom on my skin like a cooling breeze...washing over inflamed emotions that are extinguished only to be refreshed by the quiet that true rest brings...
He's got it all in control...i don't have to hold on any longer...no more holding on to what was holding me...who held whom...anyway? now i finally see...and so i let go and freefall back into His arms...i've got to laugh as i feel the release...ooo-wee...now this is what i mean....to paraphrase a great man who knew the difference..."i'm free at last!"
- elena
- what can i say about myself? as i look back over my life...i realize what a wonderful life i have had. although there have been some really tough times...looking back - i wouldn't trade them for anything...i believe everything happens for a reason...and although many times i may not understand & i may ask why...ultimately God has it all in control...and i need only to trust Him.
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