reunion before the reunion...

last nite was a monthly get together of the alumni of my high school graduating class...we have been diligently planning our big reunion for this year...and the plans are coming together quite nicely...

these get togethers have sparked on a whole new adventure though...i must say...i have kept in touch with many of my friends from high school...but these monthly get togethers have sparked a whole new addition of "lost" friends...perhaps it is the anticipation of the reunion...that some are getting back into contact with others...perhaps it is the phenomenon that is facebook that has sparked renewed connections...

whatever the reason...the core group of us which started the talks of the reunion etc...have never lost connection...but what i have loved seeing...and what is a true testament of my friends...is how we have welcomed any and all who wanted to participate in the monthly get togethers...

word has been spreading...pictures have been seen...of our group just sitting around a table...talking about our lives, our families, our dreams, our hopes...reminiscing about the high school days...and talking about the future...

these get togethers have spurred into something much bigger than just the reunion...relationships have been restored...clique's have been broken...and a genuine love for one another is very transparent...this will continue far beyond the reunion this year...we are sure of it...

high school today and of yester year bring about insecurities...trying to fit in...being in the "in" crowd...these things never seem to change...and unfortunately..it doesn't only happen in high school...i see it sometimes in grown adults...but i love that i don't see it in this group of friends...

laundry day...

laundry...i'm running another load right now...it seems like once i have washed...dried...folded...and put away the clothes...i discover someone has slipped yet another dirty item into the hamper...and being that i live alone...that "someone" would have to be me...the thing about laundry is...it's just never-ending...

i've considered taking a sabbatical from the never-ending task...but i'm certain it would accumulate into a heap causing a pervasive stench in my house...and...of course...eventually...i would run out of things to wear...so...eventually...i need to cave...my sabbatical would ultimately lead to my own panic as i surveyed the overflowing hampers...

so...no laundry sabbatical for me...instead...i accept the need to wash clothes regularly...and i do it...

the interesting thing i find...is how God uses these ordinary "chores" to teach me life lessons...here is what i have been reflecting on...while doing my laundry...

God has that constant laundering thing going on too...except He's cleansing our hearts instead of our clothes...i'm sure He would rather we not dirty our hearts with sin...but He knows we do and He is always willing...day or night...to cleanse us...

the problem is sometimes i'm unwilling to put my stinky garments in His hamper to be washed...i have favorite sins...like favorite jeans...that i'm resistant to take off...sometimes...i just wear my sin day in and day out...and the idea of confessing it and asking for grace doesn't even cross my mind...it's like He has a pile of clean clothes ready to go...but i walk right past them...

fortunately for me...and well...for all of us...God never takes a cleaning sabbatical...and He doesn't get overwhelmed when our sin hampers seem filled to capacity...in fact...you can dump ten loads of sin in front of Him and He'll wash them all...He's a pro with the delicate cycle...if we can mess it up...He can clean it up...we just have to ask...if we confess, He will faithfully forgive...

thank you Lord!

handling daily frustrations the right way...

recently...i had a conversation with a customer service agent...i use the words "customer service" very loosely...there was not a lot of concern over me being a faithful customer nor any expressions of service...

let’s just say...i wasn’t feeling the love....i remained calm...but it seriously took everything in me to do so...

the thing is...i know the lady on the other end of the phone was just following procedure...but I wasn’t getting anywhere with a very simple request...it made no sense...it wasn't right...and it certainly did nothing to make me fond of this particular company...

later on...i started thinking about the woman on the other end of the line...after my call...she probably moved on to the next frustrated customer...and then the next...and then the next...suddenly...i felt so sorry for her...i decided it wasn’t her desire to not be able to help me...she was truly just following the orders of the higher-ups at her company...

i imagined her packing up her things at the end of another long day and heading home...a home where she is having to face her own daily aggravations and frustrations...that's when it hit me...while on the phone...i never pictured her as a person really...to me...she was just a voice on the other end of the phone that was causing me extreme frustration...

how might my reaction have been different if i’d stopped to think about her as a woman just like me? what might it be like to be her...to live her life...and to have to go to her job everyday?

i decided God was trying to get my attention to be more aware of those around me...those that He loves dearly...those that i...sadly...sometimes don't even see...

luke 8:15 Jesus reminds us, "but the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop...”

i so want Jesus’ message to fall on a heart that is humble and fertile enough to receive God’s word...retain God’s instruction...and...reflect God’s character in both my action and reactions...

when i stop to think about this i am challenged...whether i am talking with a frustrating customer service representative that i don’t know or interacting with those i know and love...i must work towards being a woman who displays godly character...just like luke 8:15 encourages, whether i'm having a frustrating conversation or a friendly one...may God’s messages of truth have such an impact on me that my heart remains noble and good...

the newness in the rain...

i'm finding the rain rather soothing today...sitting in my office...working on mounds of paperwork...the drops of rain hitting the window pane...the shlosh of the tires as cars drive by...it seems so quiet...other than these sounds...

it is a cleansing ritual..the rain...the dirt of the streets is swept away...the flowers seem to lift up...as if clamoring for the drink that rain brings...

as i look out my window...i see green...i see freshness...i see a renewing...

i'm sure this has everything to do with my prayers lately...i so thirst for a renewing...a newness...a sweeping out of the old...

i thirst for more of Him...i long for new drink from Him...i embrace the changes He is bringing to my life...

if you can't say anything nice...

i'm no saint...(in case you were somehow mistaken) but i try not to sin too often...(insert smile here)...and here is a wonderful and saintly good habit to adopt...stay away from gossip...don't listen to it...don't repeat it...and we can all luxuriate in a bath of kindness toward our fellow women (because you know we hardly ever gossip about men!)

yes, i can't deny that sometimes gossip is naughty good fun...but if you indulge in it often...you just might end up friendless and alone...and if you know your friends indulge in it...you might spend many a sleepless might worrying about what they talk about on the nites you aren't with them...

imagine vowing to indulge in restraint...to be nice...not pass along mean news about acquaintances...and not join in when the talk turns nasty...

wouldn't that be a breath of fresh air in all our lives?

make up your mind...

"you're hot then you're cold,
you're yes then you're no,
you're in and you're out,
you're up and you're down..."

yes...these are words taken from a katy perry song...but i am thinking about the weather...sheesh...can yah make up your mind already?

we've had some incredible weather this last week...loving february in the 70's...and just when i think i need to start putting away the sweaters...the clouds have turned to grey...looks like rain is in the forecast...

hmmm...we had horrendous rains before the week of sunny 70 degree weather...

either one is ok...although i prefer the sun...of course...but this flipping back and forth...has got this girl all up in a tizzy...

i guess there are worse problems to be focusing on...and my rant is now over...

enjoy the weekend...whether sloshing in the rain...or sitting in front of a fireplace nice and dry...it still beats the states that are pummeled with snow...

i love you...

i was getting my newspaper from the driveway this morning when my neighbor's son left for school..."love you, mom" he said as he ran off with his friends..it was heartwarming just to hear...three little words..."i love you," are the words that topple empires, shape destinies...make men and women risk their lives and unite millions of couples in holy matrimony every year...what power is in those words!

you can never say "i love you" too often...in an old story a wife complained to her husband, "you never tell me you love me." he replied, "i told you when i married you that i loved you...if it ever changes, i'll let you know..." it makes for a good joke...but not a good marriage...

some people think if they say "i love you," they will look weak or lose authority...so untrue...when you say "i love you," you renew commitment and build bonds...love is the mortar between the bricks of experience that builds relationships...

there are times when we feel less than loving...we might want to speak sharply or not at all...saying, "i love you," paves the way for forgiveness...forgiving others, or them forgiving you...Jesus went to the cross because of love...on the cross He released us by saying, "Father, forgive them..." He died so we could live; He forgave so we could be forgiven and forgive others; He loved so we could freely say, "i love you..."

the greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive... ~ oa battista

that "nudging" feeling...

in my life...i have been on both sides of that "nudging" feeling...and let me tell you...being on the receiving end is sometimes...nothing short of a miracle...

have you ever been there? you are feeling alone? perhaps misunderstood...perhaps forgotten...and then that phone rings...it is a completely random person who felt that "nudging"...and felt that they should call...just to say hello...to check in...but to you...it is everything...and you stand there...marveling at the love your Father has for you...because at the right moment...in the right setting...and in the exact right words...God loved you enough to send a little message...just to let you know...that you matter to Him...

but...that person that God placed a thought on...needed to be obedient...how many times have you gotten a nudging? and thought...oh...it's nothing...

there are times...sometimes...where i feel like nothing big is going on...and i have learned during these times to be extra sensitive to what i am feeling...and thinking...because it has been in these moments...where God has wanted to use me...to bless someone else...what a remarkable honor...

is your life humdrum? everything is going smoothly...no major conflicts week in and week out? there are times when God seems to bless and keep us from stress...but often those times are unexciting and routine...when you find yourself there...try this - study the leading of the Holy Spirit...and practice it...

even at the most uneventful times...we must learn to stay attuned...we can share God's blessings with people all around us...whether saved or unsaved...there is something for everyone for blessing, healing, salvation...by following God's leading...you could save a marriage...a friendship...a life!

have you been "nudged" to visit a neighbor? or to hug your child as he trudged off to school? or had a "nudge" thought about a relative or friend whom you have not seen for a long time? don't brush the thought aside thinking, "oh, that's just me." take the time to study, pray and obey...and you will find new joy as you are led by the Holy Spirit...

we never live uneventfully when we keep alive the readiness to be used of God wherever we go...

you can count on me...

we often think of faithfulness in the context of marriage...without faithfulness, no one can have a solid marriage with trust and commitment as its cornerstones...but there is a lot more to faithfulness than that...

the dictionary defines faithfulness as: unswerving devotion, loyalty to one's promises, trustworthiness...

the bible says, "a faithful man who can find? and, "the Lord preserves the faithful."

faithfulness is a sterling quality...successful businesses always operate by faithfulness...my postman is faithful...delivering my mail daily...and i think we would be shocked if our grocery store were closed on a day when it should be open...children even learn this...for school starts and stops on time...and children are recorded if they are one minute late...

successful people are also faithful...whether able-bodied or not...the people who we really trust are the faithful...the "doers"...once they have a task and understand how to complete it...we never think of it again except to say "thank you" when it's done...

we need to work at being faithful for not only is it the mark of the successful...but it is also the mark of the godly...God is faithful...we plant a seed in the ground, water it, feed it, and know it will grow based on the laws of nature that God has laid out...

have you ever said, "i'll do it," only to disappoint those you promised when you don't do it? we are unfaithful sometimes to our closest friends, family...even our children...we give reasons for not following through...but the fact remains...we weren't faithful...

we need to work on being faithful to God and people...what a reputation to have, for people in our life to say, "you can always count on her to keep her word."

drawing heaven...

this little girl is amazing...to me...it is amazing how God uses people to touch others...here is a little girl...who touches her mom...who is an atheist...

are you a "kept" woman?

I Am a 'Kept' Woman

You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,
But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)

There were times when I thought I could go on no longer,
But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen. 28:15)

At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,
But the LORD kept my mouth shut. (Ps. 13)

Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,
But GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)

When I thought I would fall,
HE kept me up.

When I thought I was weak,
HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)

I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!
I'm blessed to be 'kept.'

Are you...or do you know a 'kept' woman ?
If so pass it on to her to let her know she is 'Kept'

I'm Kept by the Love and Grace of God!

I am indeed a 'kept' woman and praise God for it!

slowing down...

well well...i am on my third day of a massive headache...today, however...it is more prominent on the right side of my head...hmmm...what does that mean? i'm thinking the left side decided to check out...no more thinking...no more nothing...and relief is what i get =) at least on the left side...

i have always been prone to migraines...in fact i've had them for so long...that when i just have a "plain" headache...the ones most people get...i usually don't notice them...it is just like a slight annoyance...

migraines for me come when i'm most stressed...which i guess is good in one sense...in that it causes me to slow down...whether i want to or not...when i think about it...the body is such an amazing creation...how each little piece works together...creating a unified front...in keeping me alive...

and when over-used...it slows down...starts malfunctioning...screaming for me to take better care of myself...it screams that things are out of whack...out of balance...and i have two ways to respond...ignore...or the better of two choices...sit up, take note, and make changes...

their is a bit of a battle going on though...because this is a busy week...first week of the spring trunk show...when i should be most alert...i'm lagging a bit...

meanwhile my pounding head keeps beckoning me to slow down...to take it easy...and i think its winning the battle...which is ok by me...i mean really...i can't do it all...even though...sometimes...i think i can...

mr headache...

so i don't recall inviting this lovely headache that now is lingering onto day two...but seems he is here to stay...border line migraine...it is almost one...but not quite...all i know is that my head is pounding...it hurts to look at things...and focus...and its been like this for two full days...

and all this...now falling on day one of my spring 2010 trunk show...luckily i had no appointments scheduled today...so i'm able to relax...except that i can't seem to relax...because the head keeps pounding...

can't sleep, can't eat, can't read, can't really do anything...

so i'm playing nice with mr headache...and asking nicely...to please go away...i'd say come back another day...but...in reality...i'd prefer you just stayed away...

"first" viewing of cartier and america...

as i promised... =) the post is up for my first visit to see the cartier exhibit at the legion of honor...

click on over to my other blog-a-roo...yes...the fashion one...even if you are not truly interested in cartier and baubles...what?? there are such people?? (just kidding) the pictures posted of the grounds of the legion of honor are pretty spectacular...and that has nothing to do with cartier...

my "first" viewing of cartier and america...hmmm...sounds like there may be more than one viewing...

self discipline...

doing what i need to do when i don't feel like doing it...can you relate??

when it comes to self discipline...i know i understand it...i know i've been told that i have great discipline...but no one sees that battle that goes on...when i need to do something...and i don't feel like doing it...the to-do list...the one that gets items added on...and none taken off...

I would say that the thing at the top of my list that’s always been the hardest for me...and maybe a lot of people can identify with this...is just self discipline and all its forms..

i think that for me...one way that I could most easily track that is through my diet...it is not that i'm overwieght...but do i always eat the way i should? the thing is...i am one of those people who can easily find a reason to eat...i eat when i’m sad...i would eat if I was happy...to celebrate...i would eat for fellowship with other people...whatever the situation was...it was a great occasion...it was a great reason to eat...the thing is...when you are eating just to eat...there is a discipline problem...

and then there is that self-discipline with your time...i often check in with myself (insert laugh...i'm really not crazy...)where am i spending my time? there is nothing wrong with spending time with friends & family...spending time on your business...but what is important is in looking at what your priority is...what gets put on the back burner...

these last few months i've really been focusing on my priorities...and what i spend my time doing...the most important thing really was just learning a whole new attitude and a whole different approach...towards eating & towards my time...

that discipline that had to be applied…and has to be applied on a daily basis…still so strongly and so firmly...self discipline really is the wrong word because i’m not able to do it on my own...it has to come from accepting the grace of God in my life...and so that then spreads out and permeates to all of the other areas of my life where I needed and need more of Gods discipline in my life as well...

the wonderful thing we find as we grow along in the Lord is that He is so active in our lives...and all of the really lasting things that happen...i found...are initiated by Him and i just simply respond to them...

just in these last few months its been really wonderful to me to realize that i have a greater hunger than i have ever experienced before in my life...to just know God and to spend time with Him...i just feel Him drawing me in...and i have a greater anticipation and excitement just to hear what He is going to share with me...or the instructions for the day...and you know...coming from that...a clearer picture of just the fact that life is short...and that everything i do has to be an investment in heaven...

waiting...

waiting for God's direction is the part of the equation with which most of us have trouble...let's face it...patience is not a part of our culture or upbringing...we're accustomed to instant everything...and we often expect God to work in the same way...

remember when you got your first microwave or your first computer? weren't they amazing? now i get impatient waiting for the microwave to boil water...computer's which are "top of the line" when you buy them...seem to fade to the back of the line in a matter of years...even sooner! and the computer that once seemed so fast...is now being rejected for one newer and faster...

but like it or not, God often wants us to wait...one of the many lessons we learn from the old testament is that waiting is how God operates sometimes...moses was selected from childhood to save the israelites...but he was thrown out of egypt and spent forty years in a pasture with sheep before God called him into action...the nation of israel waited for forty years to see the promised land...God could have done it differently...they could have taken a direct path...cleared by God...but God made the nation of israel wait...likewise...we usually have to wait when we are seeking God's purpose or His direction for our lives...

many old testament verses tell us to wait on the Lord...
psalm 25:5 says, "on You i wait all the day."
psalm 27:14 says, "don't be impatient. wait for the Lord...yes, wait and He will help you."
and i love psalm 62:5..."my soul, wait silently for God alone." i can just picture the psalmist reminding his soul to wait...

looking back at different times in my life...the waiting i endured at times while watching (what i thought) were my dreams dying away...God had specifically closed doors in my life...but i didn't want that door closed...i didn't want specific doors closed because it was all i knew...to prevent it from closing...i kept a couple of fingers between the doorjamb and the door...

as long as i held on to my past...i was unable to move down the hallway to the door God had waiting for me...by keeping my fingers in the doorway, i was held in that dark place...crying to God rather than reaching our for the new plan He had for my life...

i believe that while we wait for God's answer...perhaps even impatiently...He wants us to keep doing the best we can...we shouldn't give up on life and lie down...waiting for a lightning bolt to guide us...

so we wait...waiting for God's direction and purpose in our lives...His answer to our requests for guidance...when we know God...have an attitude that involves Him in every aspect of our lives...ask for specific direction...and wait for the answer...we can trust that eventually His answer will come...

surrounded by baubles...

yesterday i went to see the cartier exhibit at the legion of honor...
i will probably be writing more about it on my other blog in the next few days...wow...was that what you call a shameless plug? haha

so...what can i say about my day yesterday...first...in the midst of just a chaotic busy schedule...it was nice to take an afternoon off...and just not think...in fact it was pretty much needed...and...it was a glorious beautiful sunny day in san francisco...the legion of honor is beautiful to begin with...with its view of the golden gate bridge...and the beautiful city...i stood and just took in the beauty for a few minutes...snapped some pictures...and pretty much acted like a tourist...on my home turf...but...hey...we live in an incredible beautiful area...

so...the baubles...i found myself gasping quite a few times...i mean the jewels were outrageous...i have been really focusing on not saying "oh my God" in my daily vocabulary...but that rule went out the window yesterday...in fact...i think that is all i kept saying...i mean...i was surrounded by diamonds, sapphires, emeralds...and brilliance...and we are not talking tiny cuts...we are talking about some that were...oh you know...something small like 49 carats...cah-ray-zee...

cartier also did some beautiful clocks...they were called mystery clocks because none of the mechanisms of the clock show...it truly is amazing...the art in these pieces...

but...no surprise...my favorites were the baubles...will i go back to see the exhibit again? i would pretty much say that that will be a definate & resounding yes!... =)

it's all in our perspective...

i am thankful...

for the taxes i pay...because it means i'm employed...



for the mess to clean after a party...because it means i have been surrounded by friends...



for the clothes that fit a little to snug...because it means i have enough to eat...



for my shadow that watches me work...because it means i am out in the sunshine...



for the lawn that needs mowing, the windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing...because it means i have a home...



for all the complaining i hear about the government...because it means we have freedom of speech...



for the parking spot i find at the end of the parking lot...because it means i am capable of walking and i have been blessed with transportation...



for my huge heating bill...because it means i am warm...



for the lady behind me in church who sings off key...because it means i can hear...



for the pile of laundry and ironing...because it means i have clothes to wear...



for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day...because it means i have been capable of working hard...



for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours...because it means i'm alive...



live well...laugh often...and love with all your heart...

pride or love...

"be the bigger person"...words i've heard so often...words i've spoken...words that when YOU are the one required to be a bigger person...can be tough...sometimes down right hard... =)

what is it about our nature that pride can seep in...when you know in your heart of hearts that YOU have done nothing wrong...or someone has been treating you or the ones you love horribly...and you just want to cut them completely out...because YOU have done nothing wrong...

often times i've heard my mind (yes...my mind) screaming "it isn't fair" as if by not saying it out loud...somehow keeps it hidden...but these thoughts...even the thoughts...can so corrode your heart and mind...if you hold on to them...

let's face it...life is hard sometimes...we have this picture perfect example of love & patience & truth in Jesus Christ...that none of us can or ever will be able to live up to...but that isn't the point...is it? it is how we handle each situation one at a time...fair or not...

i think i have mentioned this before...maybe...maybe not...but i will say it now...as a little girl there was a record album (yes...i wrote that correctly) that my mom would always listen to...i don't remember the album, the singer...only these words...that obviously had such a huge impact on me...because i think of it often...the words in the song were "your life's the only bible that some people read"

i experienced a little of that recently...in a person that has caused such havoc...and my prideful response was to just avoid them...ignore them...pretend they don't exist...

but...those words kept ringing in my ear...so i had a choice...be the person i so strive to be...Christ-like...or play this prideful game..of "i'll show them"
and really...i am not even going to dwell on the fact that i had this battle going on...because we are all human...and ultimately...it is what we choose to do in the end that matters...although...yeah...it would be a nice little post to say i didn't have these awful thoughts...but...i did...

so i chose to show love...and it was hard...but i knew that what mattered...was not my feelings...but my actions...because in this moment...they would scream the love of Christ in me...or they would scream something else...that i wasn't prepared to be attached to...

that evening...right before my eyes...i saw how this tiny act melted a hard heart...and i smiled...not because of what i had done...but that this person felt a little of God's love in their life...

there was no big transformation...no big love fest...no big orchestra playing in the background...but my heart was swelling...and in choosing love over pride...my heart felt whole...

bye bye january...

um...where did january go? seems i blinked...and it was over...

times seems to be passing a lot quicker these days...not sure how i feel about that...in some respect...it's a good thing...especially when you are going through a period that you would like to be out of...but then...on the other hand...well...time is passing much to quick...

not really sure i can slow things down...i mean...yes i'm busy...and yes...there are times my life is not completely balanced...sometimes work is priority...sometimes fun is over extended into work time...it all needs to be balanced...

balance = harmony =)

me likey harmony...

as i look back on the first month of january...i sigh a deep sigh...there are lots of things a brewing...which is exciting and new...and a bit exhausting...but i invite it all in...it is what makes my life...mine...

i have started this year with a new business & personal plan...and although when i look at it as a whole...it seems a bit daunting...but doable...it will require a lot of hard work and perseverance on my part...but i'm ready for that...

and let's not forget...i've got a great big God that is there with me...every step of the way...for that...i'm grateful...