we yearn for relationships where we can be completely honest, open, and vulnerable...where we can share failures as well as successes, shortcomings as well as strengths..where we can reveal doubts and fears...where we can find empathy and confidentiality...
i believe that these intimate, authentic relationships are exactly what God has in mind for us...after all...he created us for relationships, and wants us to experience them at their best...
all of us long for deep, authentic relationships marked by integrity and open communication...but how often do we experience them? occasionally? once in a lifetime? never?
sometimes relationships are marred by hidden hostilities or unspoken hurts...there is only one basic requirement for an authentic relationship...and that is honesty...
i think sometimes...it is human nature to prefer peace-keeping over truth-telling...most people...will do almost anything to avoid conflict...however...when people hide their true feelings in order to preserve harmony...or peace...they undermine the integrity of a relationship...choosing peace on the surface...there are hurt feelings underneath, troubling questions, and hidden hostilities just waiting to erupt...
i heard a talk on authentic relationships that really resinated with me...
counterfeit peace...this is when misunderstandings arise...but they are never resolved...feelings beg to be shared...but they are not...offenses occur, but nobody talks about them...doubts about the other's integrity creep in...but they are never dealt with...
in time...these relationships deteriorate...the secret agendas of hurt and misunderstanding lead to detachment, distrust, and bitterness...feelings of love begin to die...it's truly the story of too many marriages, family relationships...and friendships...
the hardest part...is being honest...but harder yet...is when the person you have tried to be "real" with doesn't respond...or worse...walks away and never talks about the pain...
i do know that some relationships are seasonal...i have always been of the mindset...however...that if you shared so much at one time...how do you walk away and never try and resolve issues that run so deep...
maybe sometimes...deception runs so deep in a relationship that temporary suspension of the relationship may be necessary...as hard as that may seem...for the one wanting to talk...needing to talk...
my life is filled with people...i spend time with people at church...i meet people when i travel...i socialize with people in the community...i hang out with friends and family...
so what does that say about relationships? for me...it means that my relationships need to be one of my primary concerns...
i believe...the shape of our relationships determine, in large degree, the shape of our lives...
can the truth be uncomfortable? can it be threatening? can it be frightening? sure...but how can you have an authentic relationship without it?
it is the choice between hard words to hear or hidden hostilities...it is the choice of revealing pain or having buried resentment...it is the choice of asking tough questions or having unspoken doubts...
it is simply...truth...
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