i had a VERY intense conversation with a friend this week...she is really angry with God...
what amazes me...is...if we are willing...how God can use even the least of us...
on sunday...during church...i don't remember the context of what the pastor was previously talking about...but he asked the church..."have you ever been angry at God?" the church members all laughed...and then he said..."it's not like He doesn't know...so why hide it?"
as i drove home...i thought about the time in my life where i was angry with God...circumstances were not where i would have liked them to be...things just kept getting worse...and i...well i grumbled...and the more i grumbled...the more my spirit dried up...it was a short period of time in my life where i simply could not praise Him...
once i had longed to shower my Lord with love and praise...but now there was hardly anything left for Him...i didn't look to Him for help, but wallowed in self-pity...the more i looked at circumstances, the further out the window flew my desire to praise Him...
as i continued to try to love Him...feeble and imperfect though it was...God graciously brought me out of that miserable state...and away from a pitfall i was not even aware of...
now here i was years later...realizing at last that i had been mad at Him...i repented for resenting Him...for being bitter about my situation...and for ignoring Him in my crisis...
today...i watch my praise to God like a barometer...for the exercise of praise reveals to me hidden feelings or sins that i am holding back...
when i praise Him most freely is when my heart is pure of all known sin and i can bask in His love...if we are willing and open to learn what only the Holy Spirit can teach us...our hearts will eventually overflow with praise...
have you ever seen someone "glowing" with the love of the Lord? we also are radiant in His eyes when He sees pure hearts...heads thrown back freely...faces beaming, reflecting His love back to Him....and lips filled with nothing but praise for Him...what a better way to go than grumbling...
so...back to the beginning of this post...my phone rings...my friends starts talking...and i smile...because i know that it was no coincidence that what started as a remark from the pastor...led me to think about the time when i was angry...to the moment that my friend called...
thank you Lord for using me...
i think it is only human to sometimes have these emotions...and towards the God we love so much...where it is wrong...is when we wallow in it...and not get past the real reason for our anger, resentment...
so tell Him what you are feeling...He already knows =)...He loves you...and when you come to Him with your honest heart...releasing those feelings...when you know the cause...acknowledge that God is bigger than the cause...and let your praises ring...
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