happy memorial day weekend...

things that make you go...huh?

so last nite...watching the news...one story is about a man who hid behind a church...and would go to senior centers...to "pray with them" and he was raping disabled senior women...huh?? this just sickens me...first the fact that he hid behind a church to get in...and then...just the fact that these poor women...most of which couldn't communicate...some in their 70's...were repeatedly raped...

huh??

then the next news story is about someone shooting a cat three times...and leaving it for dead...the cat survived...needed to have one of her legs amputated...but she is going to survive...

huh??

and now this...saw this video this morning on the news...a 2 yr old smoking about 40 cigarettes a day...and he throws tantrums if he doesn't get them...here is the link to "smoking baby causes web controversy"

seriously...there are no words...so so sad...this world we live in...there is so much evil around us...we need to pray...now...more then ever...

special time with g...

if someone were to ask me what is most important to me...i would say...family & friends...my two cats fall under "family"...but if i were really honest...my friends fall under "family" as well...isn't that truly what they are? ok...i guess i need to say (well...it is my fashionista side...) that my shoes are important as well...but never before family & friends... =)

monday nite i got a call from my girlfriend g...here is a little of our background that i posted in to g...with love...when i met her at the age of 2...well...i was almost 2...

she lets me know...she is driving to the bay area with her sweet hubby of 10 yrs...he is going to the dentist (to much information?) and am i free to spend the day with her? well...ding ding ding...number one reason i love owning my own business...ok...maybe not the number one reason...but it does rank high on the list...i can easily declare it a day off...to spend with a good friend...and that is what i did...

i know i've said this so many times before...but i have truly been blessed with some incredible friendships...friendships that have spanned 20, 30 even 40 years...and they are strong friendships...

i think the wonderful thing with these friendships is how they stay strong...i mean...obviously when g got married...and then moved 2 hours away...we couldn't hang out the way we used to...and although the priorities changed...as they should have...our friendship didn't suffer because of it...now i know some reading this...may say...yeah...ok...big deal...but i have seen so many relationships crumble...when there were major changes brought on...actually...sad to say...i have seen friendships crumble for very stupid reasons...so i do not take these things lightly...

so as we sat together eating breakfast...in my heart...i was smiling...because our conversation was as if we had just been together the day before...and the day before that...when in reality...it had been quite a while since we had seen each other...

and lucky me...gets to see her...and spend time with her again...this holiday weekend...

love you g...now and always...thank you for being such an incredible friend to me...

taking long walks like enoch...

do you have a favorite bible character? one who inspires you...challenges you or one whose story you simply love?

i have to say...i have several...

moses and his vast leadership skills...
esther...the compelling queen who...being both gorgeous and smart...used her quick thinking to help God save an entire nation...(my kind of woman!)
joseph...someone so mistreated...yet he continually took the high road...the road that lead him not only to political power but also to family forgiveness...

but lately...i've been thinking a lot about enoch...

reading about him has fascinated me...not a lot is written about him in the pages of scripture...but what is there sure piques my interest...he "walked with God and then he was no more because God took him away." hmmm...my mind has really been pondering that strange description...

in hebrews 11:5-6 we catch a little of the story... "by faith enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. for before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him."

enoch was whisked away...spared the pain of death and transported immediately to God's side all because of one simple thing...he pleased God...i say simple...but i don't say easy...it is a simple thing to please God...you just do what He says in His word...straightforward enough...right? however...my years as a follower of Christ have taught me that simple is not always easy...choices present themselves...the world screams...our flesh gets in the way...we want revenge or our own glory...we lack faith and instead try to control our own destinies...we mess up the "pleasin' God" part with our very own hands...

enoch "walked with God." don't we long for that to be said of us? i'll admit i don't always walk with God...i take a stand for God...believe the right things and make it known...i may walk after God...and sadly...sometimes i run ahead of God...make my own plans and then say... "oh yeah...by the way God...do ya mind blessin' these plans? i made them in Your name...i may have forgotten to consult You in the midst of them...but they are for You all right!" what a shame and a sham! have you been there?

quite simply...walking with God means that we daily give up our right to navigate our own lives...we place our faith in Him...admitting He knows what is best for us and realizing He might not always reveal the hows and the whys until the very last second...remember...God is seldom early...but never late...only day-by-day faith-walking pleases God...

i so long to be one who pleases God this way...one who makes Him smile as He sees me daily place complete trust in Him and His infinite wisdom...

maybe then...i just might be like my bible hero enoch...the one who walked so closely by our Creator's side that one day...during one of those long walks...God looked at him and said, "you know...we've been walking together for so long now that we are actually closer to my house than yours...why don't you just come on home with me right now?" how awesome would that be?!?!?!?

so my goal each day...to learn to walk with Him in faith...not ahead of Him or behind Him...but right by His side...

savoring the moments...

i remember years ago when i taught sunday school...my class was full of 4, 5 & 6 yr olds...i would always tell them during prayer request time...that they could bring anything they were worried about to prayer...most of the time...that "worry" was over a pet bunny, or chick, cat or dog...whatever it was...we prayed...together as a class...i used to love when they would run in the next sunday...smiles so bright...to let me know how God had heard their prayers...and the pets were better...

i remember some of the grown-ups would chuckle...almost sarcastically at times...teaching the children to pray for their pets...weren't there other things we could be praying for?

praying to God is just talking to God...and when we try to put up some type of front...for our eloquent prayers...well...what is the point? we talk to God because He is there for us...He wants to hear from us...He wants to know what is on our hearts and minds...

so...i was doing a lot of talking to God about Chester...and i have to say...my adult mind at moments thought...should i really be praying for a cat? but i did...because it was important to me...i didn't want to see chester go...but if he had to...i didn't want to see him suffer anymore...

after not being able to hold any food down...chester stopped eating...but...he was still throwing up about 8 to 10 times a day...i would watch helplessly as his body convulsed...and although the doctor said he would most likely withdraw from people...he didn't...he just wanted to be held...so i held him...as often as i could...

now chester is 10 pounds lighter...which is a drastic change...a very noticeable change when i go to pick him up...but...he is doing better now...and i'm going to be able to keep him around for a little while longer...

thank you so much for all the sweet messages & emails i received...they were wonderful...it is funny...sometimes i think no one reads this blog...but being that i only posted about chester here...i guess that i've been wrong...

thank you Lord for hearing me...even about my beautiful chester...and making him well...and letting me enjoy him for a little while longer...

savoring the moments...

coming to terms...

what a week...what a week...what a week...for those of you that don't know...i have no children...except for my two cats...which are like my children...

my oldest...chester...has been very very sick this week...so much so...that it has put a lot more stress on my already stressful life at the moment...this was the first week in the 19 years that i have had chester...that i started preparing myself for the fact that i may need to put him down...

even writing it makes me cry...

but...i hold on to the fact that he has lived a wonderful full life...one that he probably wouldn't have...had i not taken him in...so i focus on that...

today however...he seems to be doing better...i'm hoping...but being realistic...

he ate...and didn't upchuck...so...we shall see...

psalm 23...

one of my lovely girlfriends sent me this in an email the other day...loved it so much...had to share...


psalm 23...

The Lord is my Shepherd = That's Relationship!

I shall not want = That's Supply!

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures = That's Rest!

He leadeth me beside the still waters = That's Refreshment!

He restoreth my soul = That's Healing!

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness = That's Guidance!

For His name sake = That's Purpose!

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death = That's
Testing!

I will fear no evil = That's Protection!

For Thou art with me = That's Faithfulness!

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me = That's Discipline!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies =
That's Hope!

Thou annointest my head with oil = That's Consecration!

My cup runneth over = That's Abundance!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life =
That's Blessing !

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord = That's Security!

Forever = That's Eternity!

curfew...

i thought my parents were from another planet...as a young teenager...i just didn't understand how they could sit at home on the weekends...which i was sure had been created for the sole purpose of endless socializing...as is the norm for most teens...i was convinced the curfews my parents had set for me were overbearing and pointless...but now i know that although i couldn’t see the benefit of curfews then...my parents knew what was best for me...

have you ever felt like God’s word has too many “don’ts” and not enough “do’s”? i have heard non-believers say that being a christian is too rule-oriented...too strict...or simply no fun...at times...this could be the viewpoint of christians too...who are trying to live a life for Christ but finding it difficult to turn from their old ways...

for many years in my christian life...i played by my own set of rules...i thought that God’s commands were for religious fanatics...however...i now realize that early on...had i adhered to the “spiritual curfews” set out for me in God’s word...many painful experiences and bad decisions could have been avoided...as it turns out...God knew what was best for me...

if you are like i once was...you too may think that some of the biblical guidelines for christian living are overbearing...maybe even pointless...but consider this...if parents allowed their children to do whatever they wanted...whenever they wanted...with whomever they wanted...is it likely that they would learn right from wrong...take the right paths...and make decisions that are in their best interest? of course not! children need guidance...encouragement...discipline and direction from their parents...as children of God...we need those same things from our heavenly Father...

sometimes it is hard to understand why God asks us to think a certain way...do certain things...or refrain from doing other things that are not indicative of someone living for Christ...that is where our faith must come in...faith is our motivation to abide by the spiritual curfews that God outlines in His word...if we doubt His reasoning...wonder why certain guidelines matter...or change the real meaning of a scripture to accommodate our own selfish purposes...then we are setting out on a path that will dishonor God and lead to sin...

what godly principal are you battling to obey today? i remember the first time i heard someone say...to choose my battles...since not every situation was worth fighting for...living a Godly life is sometimes a battle...this is one battle we should always fight...to honor God’s word...if we believe the Bible is truth...we should follow its guidelines...in a world where moral values are crumbling around us...christians need to fight the good fight...

even though God’s word may sting our hearts at times...and we may feel convicted by the Holy Spirit when we do wrong...let us never forget that God truly does know what is best for us...

don't get me wrong...i still slip up at times...but my true hearts desire and prayer...is that the Lord will give me strength and courage to stand for what is right in His sight... even if those around me do not agree or understand my beliefs...to fight for what I believe in...and obey His word...

believing what we know to be true...

have you ever heard information that contradicted what you knew to be true...but since it seemed to be from a trustworthy source...you readily believed it? have you even shared that information with friends and family...only later to realize that you had been misled and misinformed?

today's culture does an excellent job of sending us wrong information...misleading us about right and wrong...and convincing us that their opinion is accurate...

take tolerance...for example...the term "tolerance" seems to imply...by today's standards...that anything and everything is morally equivalent...society tries to convince people that the truth is relative...open for interpretation...and apt to be changed if anyone wants it to be different...

with this in mind...and due to the fact that there is a smorgasbord of beliefs to choose from...it is imperative that christians stay keenly aware of whether or not we are believing what we know...versus believing what we hear...

the bible clearly states that God set moral laws for His people...and the outline of what is right and wrong is written with great clarity...knowing that...do we allow ourselves to be swayed by information that does not line up with God's word? do we follow the crowd...even when it is operating on inaccurate information? do we act on questionable truths...just because it seems that everyone else believes it to be true?

as believers...we have the incredible responsibility of being sure that we place what the bible says over what well-intentioned (even trustworthy or respected) people may say...if we doubt that the bible is the one absolute truth...what other source of truth are we looking to?

1 thessalonian 5:21 says, "don't suppress the Spirit...and don't stifle those who have a word from the Master...on the other hand...don't be gullible...check out everything...and keep only what's good...throw out anything tainted with evil..." (msg) the thing that is good...is what is written in the bible...the inspired word of God...

if you ever question whether or not something you hear is true...and before you share it with others who could be influenced by your statements...check it out against God's word...the truth will be confirmed in the scriptures...and that is a source you can believe in...

in this day and age...i truly believe it is so important to be strong in knowledge of the word...it is what gives you the inner strength to stand up for what is right in God's eyes...even if it goes against the consensus opinion of what is right and tolerated in the eyes of man...

i want to be that person who influences others with His truth...

happy birthday dad...

my dad turned 73 yesterday...enjoyed spending part of the special day with him...he to me...is one of the most remarkable men i know...i love him so much...it is no surprise to me why he is loved by so many...i am blessed to have such a wonderful man to call my dad...he has such strength and compassion...a great sense of humor...the jokester... =)

i love you dad...and i am so thankful for the example you have showed me throughout my life...

under pressure...

looking back at my life...there have been so many moments where God was looking out for me...where...maybe...in the midst of it...i didn't feel Him...couldn't hear Him...and even...started wondering...if He was clued in to what was going on in my life...of course...intellectually...i KNOW that i KNOW that He is always with me...but sometimes...as humans...we get so deep into the situation or circumstance...we may start wondering...how "this" will end...and yes...if we are honest with ourselves...we may even question if God is around...or cares...

i know i have been there...sometimes my stress has felt so heavy...i think i can't go on...i have no breath or life left in me...it is in these times...that His word gave me solace...His word says that "You make me lie down in green pastures....and Your goodness and love will follow after me..." i think back and remember in those times...when i had no words left...i held on to His words...they refreshed my soul and renewed my spirit....He was my strength...my rest...my ever-present help under pressure....and with Him...i knew that i could make it through...it was the hope that i held onto...even if it was just a tiny bit...it was what kept me going...and in the looking back...which is always easier to do...i could see so plainly...how He had His hand in the whole situation...

sometimes...God allows us to become pressured...not to terrify us or cause us undue pain...but to purify our character...it's interesting that God uses pressure in our lives this way...in the same manner...pressure is what makes a diamond pretty, precious, and priceless...diamonds are treasured stones that many desire...God wants you and me to become His treasured stones that shine with His glory...He uses the pressures in our lives to create in us a thing of rare beauty that many desire...when we allow the stress of life to purify our nature...we permit God to work for good and His glory...

in those moments...looking back...many times...it was nothing short of a miracle...it was God at His finest...sure...the pressure of my trial was hard...but learning to lean on God's goodness had its rewards...i saw a promise come to pass...my character and faith were sharpened...and i had the privilege of experiencing God at work in my life...


it may be different for you...God's goodness under pressure may show up in a job offer that you weren't expecting...it may be as simple as someone buying you dinner or offering to baby-sit so you can have some time to yourself...whatever the form, it's His goodness showering you with care in your time of distress...acknowledging these acts of kindness...which flow from God's heart...builds our character and our faith...before we know it...our life shines with the brilliance of a diamond that draws others to our God...and that...my friend...is a good thing...

"surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life..." psalm 23:6

don't let him steal your joy...

as i was listening to one of my favorite talk radio shows...where callers can call in with their "situations" or questions...

a woman called in...and as i listened to her speak...my heart just broke for her...i didn't know her...but i could feel her pain...even over the radio...

the woman timidly made her way through her story...you could sense her grief...her voice was marked with depression and her words hung low from the burden that she carried...with a shaky voice and tear-filled eyes...she spoke words no mother wants to hear coming from her own lips...

“please pray for my fifteen-year-old daughter...she’s pregnant...”

the woman continued with her story...and revealed a little more about her life...this godly woman has loved and served God in her home, church, and community for years...now, she does nothing...ashamed, she blames herself for her child’s choices...and because of them...considers herself unworthy to serve...not only has this woman allowed her situation to steal her peace and joy, but her service too...

many christians fall into this same trap...they allow the enemy to rob them of their peace...steal their joy...and kill their witness over situations beyond their control...

it’s true...satan has always been a tempter...but where he catches us off guard is by thinking he tempts us to do bad things...our flesh mostly takes care of that job...the fact is...satan tempts us in order to lose what God has given us...

if satan can rob our joy and steal our witness...then he makes us useless in the kingdom of God...just like this mother...we become unproductive when our faith is stripped by unexpected heartbreak...nevertheless...you and i must not let satan use our circumstances to steal our joy...

that sounds good...but how do we find true joy in midst of heartache? simply put...we find it by depending on the Lord...david reminds us, “the Lord is my strength and my shield...my heart trusts in Him...and i am helped...my heart leaps for joy and i will give thanks to Him in song” ps. 28:7

first...david believed God heard his cries...
second...he relied on God’s provision and strength...
third...david trusted in God’s help with all of his heart...

this kept him from growing weak...losing heart...and giving up...

and finally...because david believed God was for him...in him...with him...and behind him one hundred percent...david was able to give thanks with a joyful heart...

like david and this mother on the radio...we will experience situations that can steal our joy and leave us feeling unworthy to serve...to think this way is to see ourselves outside of God’s grace...you and i don’t serve God because we are good enough...we serve God because He’s good enough...it’s His perfection working through our imperfections...

by the same token...our joy is not defined by our circumstances...it’s based on our relationship with God who...in due time...will bring us out of our present situation...

exercising faith in God...not circumstances...aids the discouraged heart so that satan cannot steal our joy or our purpose...


i don't know about you...but i refuse to let satan steal my joy...i long for the fullness of life that God has given me...i know...that as I trust Him in my present situation...i also trust Him to restore my peace and joy...

holiday at the sea...

"if we consider the unblushing promises of reward & the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. we are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink & sex & ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. we are far too easily pleased."
~ c.s. lewis

His ways are far better then ours...we as humans forget that all too often...

what is normal?

i ask questions...i read my bible...i notice when things are out of place...

i can either be critical or pray...and to be honest...some days i lean toward the criticism side because i’m SO frustrated...my friend reminded me today that sheep are stupid... =) i guess if we weren’t...we wouldn’t need Jesus to be our Shepherd...

i long for days when things were...well...just simple...or maybe they never were? was i living in denial? who knows...what i do know...is that i only have control over what i do and what i say...not anyone else...as much as i would like to defend or change other people's words or actions...i can't...

i think the hardest is when you think someone was one way...and they turn out another way...and you are left standing...totally blown away...that this stranger standing in front of you...is who they say they are...

this has happened quite a few times in the last two years...i don't like that it doesn't seem to surprise me anymore...shouldn't it?

people are not who they say they are...seems so many are living lies...and not realizing the affect it has on others...or the trail of hurt it leaves...or the trust that is broken...

people lie...people cheat...people are selfish...how is it that this is becoming the norm? how it must break the heart of God...

the why's...

have you ever noticed how God has a way of using the ridiculous to teach us things if we will let Him?

i have always been a pretty patient person...for the most part...when those around me complained about waiting...for traffic...standing in line...or people...i would just smile...and go with the flow...

as i've gotten older...traffic does annoy me...but i can still deal with it...standing in line...i just find it a great time to people watch...now waiting for people does annoy me at times...if those people are constantly late...just sayin...

but the whole waiting game...is truly a mystery to me...when waiting on things to happen...

have you ever stopped at the store to get milk and ended up spending $200 on groceries? that is a lot how life is...you just stopped to run in and grab a little of this & a little of that, but you walked out with arms full of more than you had intended...it is how He works...of course i’m not talking about groceries...i’m talking about the life lessons...wisdom...people...struggles & storms that we encounter along the way...

what we see as “stops” along the journey are so much more than that...what we see as detours really aren’t detours at all...He loves us too much to take us from A straight to Z...you will never be able to STAY at Z if you don’t learn what E and Q and T taught you...

if you look back and saw His fingerprints on the “no’s” in your life...would gratitude arise? if you saw the waiting as proof of His loving kindness and not as punishment or neglect...would contentment overwhelm you?

He knows more than you do...His timing is best...

why can’t i be rich, God?

when will things happen for me, God?

what about my dreams, God?

why can’t i be famous, God?

why can’t i find the right man/woman, God?

why can't i get pregnant, God?

when can i move to a better place, God?

He gently answers, “you aren’t ready...but you CAN have more of me while you wait, if that’s ok?”

yay for friday...

ok...been a bit ho-hum on the random thoughts...i know...

so...changing the focus...so much to be thankful for...

my wonderful Lord & Savior...

my health...

my family...

my friends...

my home...

and...a nice road trip today...just one day...but it is sunny...and it will be full of girl talk...and much needed laughter... =)

have a fabulous weekend...

seasons come and seasons go...

isn't that the normal cycle of things? i feel like i have been in this season for so long...and i'm just tired...oh so tired...my prayers sound like a broken record...i just keep saying the same thing...in different ways...i really just have to laugh at myself at times...

my saving grace? i know that i know that He understands...even when i am so far from being eloquent in my prayers...or in those instances when i can barely mutter a word...He understands...

and THAT...keeps me going...well that...and the fact that no matter what...i know He is with me...every single day...every single minute...there in lies so much strength to hold on to...

i have often wondered how someone with no faith makes it through hard times...i can't even imagine it...really...there is such comfort in talking to my Lord and Savior...every day...sometimes constant...knowing He is listening...knowing He hurts when i hurt...knowing He loves me...despite myself...despite my "sometimes" wrong decisions...despite my "sometimes" needing to do it my way...

if it were up to me...i would so close the chapter on this season of my life...but for whatever reason...He seems to think i need to be in it...still...and that's ok...because He has never failed me...AND He knows what is best for me...

so although outside...one season is ending...and beautiful spring/summer is here...my "winter" life will need to muddle through...

tamara lowe...

now this is pretty awesome...just sayin...

should i?

today i’ve been contemplating my fear of letting people in...i have a lot of really good reasons not to...betrayal, pain, insecurities, control issues, problems trusting...i’ve met some really great people over the past few weeks...ones that i would really like to be a part of my life...but the truth is...i’m scared...i talked to a friend about it yesterday and it made me feel a little better that she feels the same way...

do you have trouble letting people into your life? have you faced serious betrayal and therefore keep people at a distance?

i think baby steps are in order...

do i trust you, Lord?

stress causes migraines...i know that...because i'm smack dab in the middle of one...here is the song that i have been reciting in my head...i sang it many times in church...back when i used to sing a lot of solo's...

what i find interesting...is that with my minimal memory bank...(yes...i have the memory of a gnat)this song...i have never forgotten the words...

i'm not sure on the author of these beautiful words...i know twila paris has sung it...although i don't think it was an original by her...

"Do I trust you, Lord?"

Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will what's in Your plan
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why
But I can never forget it for long
Lord what You do could not be wrong
So I believe You even when I must cry

Chorus:
Do I trust You Lord does the robin sing?
Do I trust You Lord does it rain in Spring?
You can see my heart You can read my mind
And You've got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love
Do I trust You Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers I've given them all
But suddenly now I feel so small
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul
I know the doctrine and theology
But right now they don't mean much to me
This time there's only one thing I've got to know

Chorus 2:
Do I trust You Lord does the river flow?
Do I trust You Lord does the North wind blow?
You can see my heart You can read my mind
And You've got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love
Do I trust You Lord?
Do I trust you?

Chorus 3:
I will trust You Lord when I don't know why
I will trust You Lord til the day I die
I will trust You Lord when I'm blind with pain
You were God before and You'll never change
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You, I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord