the power of thank you...

a friend recently told me that she admired my attitude with all that has transpired in my life recently...as humbled as i was to hear it...it so touched my heart...and on my view of the situation...i know there were moments where i had a lot of questions in my prayer time...

then...another friend called...who is going through a difficult time...and asked me how i do it...how i can remain pretty upbeat during some pretty traumatic and hard times...

this got me thinking...what is it that people are noticing in me? because believe me...i have my moments... =)

i think the one thing that has remained constant in my life...through good times and bad...is focusing on what i have...and in that...what i mean...is to acknowledge all the blessings i have been given...so really...we have two choices...focus on what you don't have & what you are going through...or...better yet...focusing on what you have been blessed with...and knowing that God is aware of your struggles...and circumstances...

there was a study done at the university of california that showed just how great it is to be grateful...the researchers found that grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions...more satisfaction with life...and more vitality and optimism....i don't know about you...but these are all good qualities i want more of in my life...they also found grateful people show lower levels of depression and stress...two things i’d like to experience less in my life...

what’s more...they found that people who keep journals about gratitude on a weekly basis are healthier...they exercise more regularly...report fewer physical symptoms...and feel better in general than people who journal about neutral or negative life events...that sounds great...and i’ll take all the help i can get in the exercise department... =)

finally...the research showed that people who daily count their blessings report higher levels of alertness...enthusiasm...determination...and energy...wow...the benefits of being grateful are remarkable and many! i guess that shouldn’t surprise me after considering this verse...

"give thanks in all circumstances...for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus...”
1 thessalonians 5:18

the bible urges us to give thanks...all the time...in every situation...because this practice is the will of God...

let me be clear...there are terrible things that happen to us that may not be the will of God...but us praising God and giving thanks in spite of them certainly is the will of God...as christians...we can always find reason to give thanks...thanks for the salvation of Christ...the nearness of God...and the counsel of His Spirit for starters...the psalmist declared... “i will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High” (psalm 7:17) we can do that too...

christian poet john milton once wrote about every grey cloud having a silver lining...purposing to give thanks...no matter the weather...will train us to look for it...continuing in this manner day after day ensures that gratefulness will become our normal mode of operation...

no wonder those researchers found that people regularly counting their blessings grow happier...healthier...and more optimistic...after all...that research wasn’t discovering anything new...but rather confirming the will and wisdom of God...God already knows how great it is for us to be grateful...now “science” does too...

what can you give thanks for today?

malachi 3:3...

always a good reminder...

Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: ' He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, ' Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'
if today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you...

thank you God...for teaching me to laugh again...
but please Lord...don't ever let me forget that i cried...

babbling...

it's friday!!!! can you feel my excitement?? i don't know what it is about weekends that i love so much...the funny thing is...that owning my own business allows me to pretty much make my own schedule...so if i don't feel like working...i don't have to...if i wake up one morning...and feel like going on a hike...i can...

all that to say...that pretty much any day of the week can be my weekend...but...i guess the whole saturday/sunday thing for me is a sense of closure...closure of another week...relaxation before a new week...isn't it funny how our mind works?

it's kind of like...if i ever start a diet...i need to start on a monday...because it is the "beginning" of a week...when really...you should just start...the sooner the better...right?

so dispite all these scenarios...and justifications...in my little pea brain...i get excited on fridays...even when i don't have a whole lot of plans...it is just the sense of relaxation...

although...there have been times...i've worked harder over a weekend...then a week...

what is that all about?? need to stop that nonsense... =) i've just realized that this post really does take random thoughts about nothing to a whole new level...sheesh...

hope you are excited for the weekend...may it be relaxing...

the quiet of the morning...interrupted...

my favorite part of day lately seems to be the early morning...my days have been so full of "things" that need to be done...so the morning...with its quiet...has been my calm...with a nice cup of coffee...the windows open...birds chirping of a new day...although as i'm writing this...one of those crazy black birds is right out front of my home...just blaring with his/her cawing...(sp?) is that even a word? anyway...i'm finding my blood pressure rising...as his/her cawing gets louder...

oh look...it is a word...and i even got the spelling right...
caw (kô) n. The hoarse raucous sound that is characteristic of a crow or similar bird

wow...that is a perfect description of what i'm hearing...

ok...it is obvi that i need some more coffee...and a gun err...some soft music... =)

the black bird is taunting me...cutting into my early morning quiet...and now a gardener has arrived...down the street...but the blaring of his equipment is slowly making my head pound...

now i'm wondering...was this to be what i was to post today? every other morning has been quiet...with birds chirping...and today of all days...when i thought i would share my lovely quiet moments...it has turned into a chaotic loud morning...

but i'm too lazy to start this post over...and i'm running out of coffee...and maybe...just maybe...all these signs are telling me to get off my butt and get some work done...

or maybe...just to refill my empty cup of coffee...

happy 2 year...

...blogaversary to me! yep...today...two years...that truly is unreal...i still remember the thought process going through my head as to whether to blog or not...and here i am...2 years later...glad that i did...

5 days a week for two years...(actually i missed a day or two..but that is it) this blog contains my highs...my lows...my in-betweens...it has mentions of people who were in my life...who are not in it...anymore...it has mentions of people who were not in my life...and now are...and it has mentions of my wonderful family & friends who have always always aways been there for me...

but the one constant...webbed between every line...every phrase...every word...is my wonderful Lord and Savior...whom without Him...i would be nothing...He is my everything...

thank you to all my faithful readers...i am blessed you think i've got an inkling of talent for writing...thank you for walking with me through my random thoughts about nothing and everything...

now to get me a piece of that chocolate cake...and really celebrate!

step out of the boat...

remember the story of peter in matthew? when Jesus asked him to step out of the boat and walk towards Him...on the water!?!? the most incredible part of that story for me...is that...as long as peter kept his eyes on Jesus...he was fine...when he took his eyes off of Him...he started to sink...

what a reminder...but today...i'm thinking more about risk...peter had to take a risk to walk out on that water...was he afraid? pretty sure he was...but the key is...he did it...

a long time ago i took a risk with God...opening my heart to Him meant that i would be vulnerable...i had learned that if i stepped outside my carefully constructed walls...i could be hurt...was i willing to let God past those barriers? letting Him in became a first step in a life of risky steps - the good kind! i once heard a mantra – the beat to which i marched – became "do it afraid."

i grew up in a very loving family...but it was a family that didn't promote risk...i still remember when i told my parents that i was quitting my accounting job that i had been at for 6 years...and moving to another company...they couldn't grasp that...as both my parents had come from an era where you find a good job...and stay at that job...well...basically..forever...

was i afraid? yes...but my eagerness to learn...to explore...was so much bigger then the fear...and i had gotten to a point with this first company...that i would not move any further...and the controller basically sat me down and said that i was not promotable any further because i didn't have my degree...and that the department in which i was...needed my expertise...makes sense no? i have the expertise to run a department...so run it...but without the promotions...yeah...i don't think so...

my next job which i was lured to by the head auditor that worked with us at the first place...he saw something in me...probably my willingness to always learn...i moved over to his new company...and in the next 5 years...worked hard...and climbed up the corporate ladder...was it scary? yes... was it trying at times? yes...

then...something was stirring in me to get my degree...by this time i was in my 30's...but thrilled that so much had transpired in my life without the degree...at this point i was assistant vp of an accounting department with 50 employees in my staff...i absolutely loved my job...but the hours were long...and it truly consumed my life...

should i take a risk and do something new? of course...my parents were saying no...but i knew that i wanted that degree...for myself...so i quit...and completely moved to a whole new profession...and went back to school...i quickly moved up in this company as well...and then my supervisor proposed that i move into a sales position...what????? not me...i can't do sales...was it risky?? yes... was i scared?? heck yeah!

fast forward...to having an incredible ride in the sales world...graduating from college...switching careers again...opening up my own business...and now...adding an online store...

God had plans for me that i could never imagine...if i could go back in time...i would find a young girl sitting outside on a curb...wondering where her life would take her...i could not have dreamt this any better...He had plans for my life that i couldn't even imagine...

it was a risk to go back to school...it was a risk to change careers...it was a risk to become an entreprenuer...but there were other...more personal...risks that came first...it was a risk throughout the years to break free from the entanglements of my past and embrace who God intended me to be...it was a risk to take the mask off and be myself with others...

every time i took a step outside my comfort zone...i grew spiritually...i discovered God's destiny rather than operating within the limitations of my own experiences...i discovered a powerful truth along the way...when we take calculated risks...we discover talents and facets of our personality waiting to be developed...

fear can be our largest obstacle to stepping out in courage...a step of faith might not look like success to others...but every risk can ignite more courage...but still...you may ask...what if I fail? take time to consider the other "what if's?"

- what if you live in authenticity and discover new and lasting relationships (even with those in your own home)?

- what if you face your fears and overcome them?

- what if you unmask your emotions and actually deal with them?

- what if you tell your secrets and they no longer suffocate you in the hidden places of your heart?

step out of your boat...as peter did...and discover who you are and what you can do as a child of an amazing God...it's a calculated risk...and it's worth it...

come to my rescue...

i have been humming/singing this song for days...can't get it off my mind...but then again...why would i want to?

newsong - rescue

You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus, I need You Jesus

My heart is Yours for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do
Lord I put my trust in You

chorus
I need You Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other Name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

My heart is Yours for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do
Lord I put my trust in You

This world has nothing for me (I will follow You)

turmoil vs. goodness...

ok...before i start...i know sometimes i go on and on about how blessed i am with the people in my life...but how can i not? it truly amazes me sometimes...at the end of the day...when i reflect back on the day...and the many wonderful "blessings" from family & friends that the Lord places throughout the day...

there has been so much turmoil in my life...for so long now...i don't even remember when it started...but the thing is...that turmoil is always covered by wonderful friends and family members...and goodness...honest to good goodness...

although my circumstances don't change...and sometimes more "turmoil" is placed upon me...the goodness somehow outweighs it...i really can't explain it...but i know it is God watching over me...and although i think i know what i need...He so surpasses it...

His love for me overwhelms me at times...

may you feel His goodness...

enjoy the weekend!

You alone...

...are God...
i am Yours and You are mine...

"you alone"
by...echoing angels...

desperately wanting to just find a way
searching and seeking for someone to say
that it's alright and it's ok
like i know you can

You alone are God
i am Yours and You are mine
and i know the heavens will call out Your name
if i don't
i close my eyes
and i drift away
to a place i remember
to a place i feel safe
where it's alright and it's ok
cause i'm there in Your arms
where it's alright and it's ok
cause i'm there in Your arms
You alone are God
i am Yours and Your are mine
and i know the heavens will call our Your name

You forgive me
You accept me
just as i am
and You love
and You want me
to understand

You alone are God
i am Yours and You are mine

such comfort in these words...

manuel j. najarro...

this morning i attended the celebration of manny sr's life...
only 62 year old...what i will remember most about manny sr...is how he made me laugh...how he made others laugh...
we know he is resting in peace in the Father's arms...

the world, i thought, belonged to me
goods, gold and people, land and sea
where'er i walked beneath God's sky
in those old days my word was "i"

years passed; there flashed my pathway near
the fragment of a vision dear;
my former word no more sufficed,
and what i said was - "i and Christ"

but, o, the more i looked on Him,
His glory grew, while mine grew dim,
i shrank so small, He towered so high,
all i dared say was - "Christ and i"

years more the vision held its place
and looked me steadily in the face;
i speak now in humbler tone,
and what i say is - "Christ alone."

my thoughts and prayers to the najarro family...

the story of job...

this is classic...

the ultimate driving machine...

...hasn't been so ultimate lately...or driving...for that matter...

ok...so i think it has been about 3 weeks that i have been without a car...between trips to my mechanic...who told me my car was not worth fixing...(yes...that was very hard for me to hear) and the added "i know you love your car...but you need to think with your head...not your heart"...uh...ok shawn...thank you for that... =(

then a well meaning friend...knew of someone else who could possibly help me...except that...he gave me the same information that good ole shawn did...so obviously i kept getting more & more upset...why hear the same thing over and over...and the thing is...it isn't even the fact that i bought this car brand new...for lots of money...well...lots of money to me...that ails me...what ails me...is 12 years later...how little my car is worth...coupled with it needing a major repair...well...i guess i don't need to explain...oh...and the 2nd mechanic thought he might be able to auction it off...and possibly get about $500...wow...thank you!

so then...i have an offer for a 3rd "reliable" mechanic to take a look at my car...and he gives me the same story...as the other two...except i think he might be willing to work with me on the price...

and me? i just want my car...i don't want a new car...i just want my car...working...

although it has been stressful...financial issues rarely are anything but...i have seen the Lord come through in amazing ways...through it all...

two friends offered me their cars...which i have used when necessary...my dad offered me his car...which i hadn't taken him up on the offer...but even better then that...when my dad has been in the area...he has tooted me around town...while i ran some errands...the time together has been pretty awesome...and the thing is...i think he really enjoys it...he is funny that way...

and...i've been doing alot of walking...which has been very good for me...physically...but also...freeing...in a weird sort of way...

is it strange to pray over a car? i have been...whatever happens...i know He has got my back...in ALL situations...

daddy's...

my wonderful dear friend's daddy passed away last nite...although we all knew it was coming...it was still hard to hear...and another friends dad passed away on tuesday...

i can't even begin to imagine how they feel...daughter's hold a special special place in their hearts for their dad...i know i do...i've been spending an awful lot of time with my dad in this last year...and every moment is cherished...

if your dad (or mom) is still around...give them that extra hug...if they don't live close...make a call...let them know how much you love and respect them...

fear & faith...

something the pastor said on sunday that has been on my mind all week...

fear & faith do not co-exist...

so simple...and yet so profound...

i have to admit...it is easy to go the way of fear...and worry...and wondering how things will ever work out...but i have really made a conscious effort to notice when my fear creeps in...and as soon as that happens...wherever it happens...i quote..."trust in the Lord with all your heart...and do not lean on your own understanding...in all your ways acknowledge Him...and He will direct your paths" proverbs 3:5-6

i've been saying that a lot this week...but what i noticed...is how quickly fear can creep up on us...and start to consume our every thought...so i'll just keep quoting it...over and over...

this verse has helped...because it takes the focus off my situation...and makes the focus about the awesome God i serve...and what i've noticed...is in the midst of so much turmoil...i have this unbelievable peace...

do i understand how that can be? no...but i do know where it comes from...He remains by my side...24/7...

if you really knew me...

susanne...my best friend from high school (love her!) is part of an organization call "challenge day"...

"Challenge Day's mission is to provide youth and their communities with experiential workshops and programs that demonstrate the possibility of love and connection through the celebration of diversity, truth and full expression.

Our 6 1/2-hour Challenge Day program is designed for 100 students. Our program is created to build connection and empathy, and to fulfill our vision that every child lives in a world where they feel safe, loved, and celebrated."

of course...anything that is targeted for our young people...always tugs at my heart...and this organization is unbelievable in what they do for our youth...

recently...they started a tv show on mtv called "if you really knew me" (airs on tues evenings 11 pm)

my first suggestion when you watch...have at least one box of tissue available...it is a chance for the youth to speak up and out of what is really going on in their heads and hearts...truly an eye opening experience...and whether you are a participant of the day...or an observer by watching the show...there is no way...you cannot be impacted...

in a world where people just want to fit it...to be noticed...to be loved...challenge day is helping...one kid at a time...

the clouds in a sunrise...

have you ever risen early in the morning with one purpose...to watch the sun rise? there is something so calming about sitting in the quiet of the morning...be it on a lake (how beautiful...no?) or from a hotel window...i tend to notice the sun rise more when i am away from home...sitting with a cup of coffee...and watching the sun rise...the promise of a new day...

i remember one morning i found myself sitting on the dock facing east...looking for the sun to rise up over the lake...this was years ago...but i remember the feeling like it was yesterday...as i sat...i waited for the golden glow that would announce the sun's arrival...

days later...toward the end of my trip...i wrapped myself in a heavy blanket and curled up in the glider on the front porch of the cabin where i had spent the night...it was a business trip...and i had taken a few extra days to enjoy the utah landscape...and once again i searched the horizon...

soon a bright orange blaze appeared...forcing me to close my eyes because of its brilliance...in a few seconds...with wide-opened eyes...i continued my search for the morning's drama...only to see a half globe sitting on top of the mountains...i kept watching...not wanting to miss the spectacular sight...then...in another blink of an eye...the sun lifted itself from the peaks...and hung there in the sky - a perfect golden circle...

that was it...it went so quick...the sun had come up...creeping into the day...and now it simply dangled...a yellow ball in the air...surrounded by blue...looking like a child's simple drawing...

for a few minutes i pondered my disenchantment with this particular sunrise...is there such a thing as an incomplete...imperfect sunrise? at that moment i believed there was...i had just experienced it...and...i remembered others like it...somewhat lackluster...

why had the sunrise not impressed me this day? where was all the drama i had expected? then i realized there is no drama in a sunrise without clouds...

clouds - they've been given a bum rap...but all along...these predictors of bad weather...these symbols of negativity, sadness, blues, and gloom really serve to expand light, reflect color, cast dazzling rays, and paint incredible scenes in the sky...

a sunrise without clouds is like a life without trials and hardships...i do all i can to avoid challenges and difficulties...but the fact is the so called "clouds" in my life can cast me in a certain aura of God's splendor...a life free of complications and struggles can resemble a bland sunrise...little contrast, seemingly dull artistry, and little context in which i can reflect the Son...

truth is...the people i respect and admire most are those whose lives have been filled with "clouds" but they walk through any weather with God...these people walk in splendor...surrounded with a certain attractive and hard-to-capture beauty...they are people i seek out on a regular basis...i pursue them because i want to bask in their glow and confidence...they leave me in awe...

one thing is sure...i'm never disappointed when i find myself in the company of those who have learned to rise up in the midst of clouds...they don't seek to avoid cloudy days; rather they stand up to walk in dignity...accepting the brilliant contrasts and magical rays God can create despite and through their adversity...

it is in their presence i realize...a life free of clouds holds no attraction...now i see cloudy days in a positive light...may i never shun them again...for i realize clouds build character...add color...and separate the bland from the brilliant...

only God...

only God...

can turn a MESS into a MESSage...

a TEST into a TESTimony...

a TRIal into a TRIumph...

a VICTim into a VICTory...

God is good...all the time!

music in the park...

so last nite i headed over to central park for "music in the park"...such a fun evening...just hanging out with a girlfriend...relaxing...enjoying live music...and people watching...

it was pretty wonderful to see so many "older" people on the dance floor...we are talking people in their 70's & 80's...i told my girlfriend...i hope i'm like that when i'm that age...just enjoying life...not sitting in a rocker feeling like your life is over...

one woman in particular caught my eye...i truly wished i had taken a picture of her...she had to be in her late 70's...early 80's...she was SO dolled up...big red flower in her hair...her super tight pants had big red lips all over them...she was definately someone that wanted to be noticed...and the thing is...i'm sure she dresses like this all the time...how fabulous is that? we ended up calling her "hot-lips"...

she also danced so gracefully...such a lady...it was beautiful to watch...

all in all...a pretty wonderful evening...and best of all?? no charge!

may you all enjoy your weekends!

what i'm realizing...

...is that i am a lot stronger then i thought...there have been some really tough days...weeks...actually months...years...but i'm still standing...

just when i think i can't handle anymore...i make it another day...with peace in my heart...

but i'm wise enough to know...that it has been only through the strength that the Lord gives me...He has carried me through this time...that i know...for sure!

and He has given me some unbelievable parents...and friends...even some strangers along the way...all who have my back...who are here...by my side...not letting me do this alone...

for that...i am eternally grateful...

life is too short...

simple pleasures...

a big oak tree & a swing...i was blessed enough to enjoy this simple pleasure this last weekend...

accepting discipline...

"this hurts me more than it hurts you..." these were the exact words my mom and dad used before they disciplined me...have you ever heard these words? have you ever said these words?

as a child it was hard to understand how my parent's correction and discipline could hurt them more than it hurt me...after all...i was the one on the receiving end of the pain and suffering! =) i had many mental conversations with myself on this very subject...how can they say that when i am the one confined to my room for the week?

as i got older...i started understanding this term...and my heart began to understand the Father's correction...it helped that i had already made the decision to allow God to be the Lord of my life...i was surrendered to His leadership in my life...surrender meant accepting and submitting...accepting His unconditional love and undeserved grace for my sin and submitting to His correction and discipline in my life...trusting Him to use His word to shape me into the person He wanted me to be...i was and i am today the object of His great love...

the Lord's correction and discipline is given to everyone He loves, accepts, and cherishes in His heart...according to ephesians 1:5, through Jesus Christ we are adopted as sons of God...therefore...as His children we are entitled to His great love and His loving hand of discipline...

admittedly...it took me some time to willingly submit to the correction and discipline of the Lord...at times...the process was painful and difficult...asking me to give up things i took pleasure in...when i obeyed though...i always saw a positive result...two truths came to life: discipline is good...and discipline is necessary to help me become like Christ...

i felt His great love as God would tell me, "no honey...don't watch that show anymore" or "elena...that relationship is not really beneficial to you...it would be in your best interest to break away from it..."when i submitted to the discipline...i could see that He really loved me and wanted what was best for me...

so how exactly does it "hurt me more then it will hurt you?" because of the love...the giver loves so deep and in a way the receiver cannot understand until the discipline is accepted and applied...and the receiver matures...eventually...the one receiving the discipline and correction realizes that discipline brings what he or she has always longed for: security, comfort, and peace...

there have been times that i needed help from the Father to accept and apply His loving discipline to my life...but what i know is that He loves me enough not to overlook my faults...He wants me to be all that He has planned...i know sometimes i have stubbornly stood in the way of the work of His great love...it warms my heart to know that He accepts and cherishes me...enough to discipline me when i need it...

the next time you need to accept discipline...remember the love of the Father who uses correction to shape you into the person He has designed you to be...