it is raining outside...pretty hard...just in time for the weekend...even the fact that i will be working all weekend...doesn't help...i don't know what it is about the rain that i don't like...
yesterday when the rain started...i was surprised...although i'm not sure why...at all the comments on facebook...everyone loving the rain...well...almost everyone...
i love the rain only when i am inside and know for sure that i will not be leaving the house at all...rain makes me feel down a little bit...where is the sun?
if i think about the rain...it really is a time of refreshing...washing away all the old...and if i think of it on those terms...i can almost start to appreciate the rain...almost...
so i am trying to have a good outlook on the rain...so i focus on the good...grass looks greener...streets are cleaned...and best of all...
i don't need to water my yard...
it's a stretch...i know...
but...
i don't like the rain...
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
a new chapter...
reality is setting in that my older niece will be leaving for college...so many mixed feelings come with that realization...as i have been a part of checking out colleges with her...some further away than i had ever expected...but it is a good time for her...a new chapter in her life...what could be more exciting than that...
as we have walked through the different campuses...it has been interesting to learn of what she is looking for in the "perfect" college...what her likes and dislikes are with each one...
this week i have been helping proof-read her college entrance essays...i have to say...she is quite the little writer...of course each college has a different topic...a different format...
when she sent the first rough draft on one of the essays...her last line read..."i need more words"
seems she was concentrating more on the number of words needed than the topic...it made me smile...it showed her stress that she has been feeling for quite some time now...i took her words...added a few...and the essays are now ready to be sent...
she mentioned to me last week that she is thinking of starting a blog...of course i think that is a fabulous idea...i told her how therapuetic it has been for me...and what a great way to capture her new adventure...she was worried if anyone would read it...if she would have the time to write every day...
so i told her...plain and simple...this is not a homework assignment...if you want to write daily...go for it...if you want to write 3 times one day...and then nothing...it is your blog...
i know that i look forward to reading her posts...especially when she is away at school...it will be another way to be updated on her days...her stress...her triumphs...her lows...her new adventures...
as we have walked through the different campuses...it has been interesting to learn of what she is looking for in the "perfect" college...what her likes and dislikes are with each one...
this week i have been helping proof-read her college entrance essays...i have to say...she is quite the little writer...of course each college has a different topic...a different format...
when she sent the first rough draft on one of the essays...her last line read..."i need more words"
seems she was concentrating more on the number of words needed than the topic...it made me smile...it showed her stress that she has been feeling for quite some time now...i took her words...added a few...and the essays are now ready to be sent...
she mentioned to me last week that she is thinking of starting a blog...of course i think that is a fabulous idea...i told her how therapuetic it has been for me...and what a great way to capture her new adventure...she was worried if anyone would read it...if she would have the time to write every day...
so i told her...plain and simple...this is not a homework assignment...if you want to write daily...go for it...if you want to write 3 times one day...and then nothing...it is your blog...
i know that i look forward to reading her posts...especially when she is away at school...it will be another way to be updated on her days...her stress...her triumphs...her lows...her new adventures...
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
pebbles rocks and bricks...
in the last few weeks there have been several mountain lion sightings literally 5 to 10 blocks from my home...
text messages and voice mails have been sent to all residents in the area by the police department as an alert while also leaving tips on what to do if confronted by a mountain lion...most people's first response is that this is a joke...one of my friends must have left the message on my machine...
and the fact remains...these are just sightings...the police say that there is a high probability that they could just be bobcats...
as i was speaking to a resident in the neightborhood about the sightings and the alerts...it made me think about the "alerts" we get in our lives sometimes...do we choose to take the information in...or do we justify that it is just a warning...nothing to worry about?
my friends and i refer at times to the small "warnings" in our lives in reference to rocks...we call them pebbles...tiny pebbles...which then turn to small rocks...which then turn into bricks...which then turn into walls...walls that may come crashing down if the warnings are ignored...
it is always easier to look back at situations and see where the tiny pebble was...or where the brick was in a moment in time...it is easy to point out where one may have ignored the warning...for whatever reason...it may be that it was justified that it wouldn't get worse...or justified that it could be handled...
whatever the reason...warnings and alerts are there for a reason...does it mean that we need to stop doing what we are doing? not necessarily...it really does depend on the situation...but it should cause us to stop and evaluate the situation and our surroundings...call it a check point...
God is always giving us alerts when we sway from His path...do we take the tiny pebble thrown in our path and shove it off to the side? or do we take it and adjust our path, our action, our thoughts...or do we wait for a bigger alert...do we wait until the bricks start flying?
for me...i prefer to take the pebbles and learn from them and adjust my ways...there have been many times i have ignored those warnings...only to have the rocks, and then the bricks come my way...and even then...there were times i still felt the urge to ignore the warnings...till i hit the wall...and then the wall came crashing down...
yeah...at that point...i wish i had stopped at the pebble point...there are alot of shoulda woulda coulda's in life...but you live and learn...and pray that the next time...the pebbles will serve as a big enough alert to make changes if needed...
text messages and voice mails have been sent to all residents in the area by the police department as an alert while also leaving tips on what to do if confronted by a mountain lion...most people's first response is that this is a joke...one of my friends must have left the message on my machine...
and the fact remains...these are just sightings...the police say that there is a high probability that they could just be bobcats...
as i was speaking to a resident in the neightborhood about the sightings and the alerts...it made me think about the "alerts" we get in our lives sometimes...do we choose to take the information in...or do we justify that it is just a warning...nothing to worry about?
my friends and i refer at times to the small "warnings" in our lives in reference to rocks...we call them pebbles...tiny pebbles...which then turn to small rocks...which then turn into bricks...which then turn into walls...walls that may come crashing down if the warnings are ignored...
it is always easier to look back at situations and see where the tiny pebble was...or where the brick was in a moment in time...it is easy to point out where one may have ignored the warning...for whatever reason...it may be that it was justified that it wouldn't get worse...or justified that it could be handled...
whatever the reason...warnings and alerts are there for a reason...does it mean that we need to stop doing what we are doing? not necessarily...it really does depend on the situation...but it should cause us to stop and evaluate the situation and our surroundings...call it a check point...
God is always giving us alerts when we sway from His path...do we take the tiny pebble thrown in our path and shove it off to the side? or do we take it and adjust our path, our action, our thoughts...or do we wait for a bigger alert...do we wait until the bricks start flying?
for me...i prefer to take the pebbles and learn from them and adjust my ways...there have been many times i have ignored those warnings...only to have the rocks, and then the bricks come my way...and even then...there were times i still felt the urge to ignore the warnings...till i hit the wall...and then the wall came crashing down...
yeah...at that point...i wish i had stopped at the pebble point...there are alot of shoulda woulda coulda's in life...but you live and learn...and pray that the next time...the pebbles will serve as a big enough alert to make changes if needed...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
we are your symphony...
why is it that we are never happy with what we have?
i think there are very few people that get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say, "wow, i'm really happy with the way i look"
most compare themselves to the covers of magazines or to the actors that are seen on our tv screens...
those with curly hair wish they had straight hair...
those that are shy wish they were more outgoing...
those that are curvy...wish they were not...
those that are not curvy...wish they were...
dissatisfaction seems to be part of human nature. we spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on what we do not have instead of thanking God for how he has made us...
in my years working as a fashion consultant...this is the challenge...working with the client's assets and hiding the parts that are not so desirable to them...clothes can do wonders if fit properly...they can hide and camouflage...if done right...they can also give the illusion of something that is not really there...
sometimes a person gets "stuck" on one issue...they are waiting to lose that last 10 pounds...then they will start buying the right clothes...not seeing that the right clothes can look like they already lost those last 10 pounds...
being "stuck" on the one issue is preventing them from moving on...
but what about when you are not happy with your life?
we each have a choice to make...when you realize that your life is playing out in a sea of conflict, and you are on a road to nowhere...you have to choose where your loyalty lies. it's either going to be lined up with God or it is going to be lined up with a world view.
it is easy to get off track...to see how our life should be via the world's message through the media. i believe that God has a plan for each of our lives...one that He does not impose on us...unless we ask Him in. God allows us a great deal of freedom in whether or not we will comply with His will. You can choose to follow His plan or follow your own plan.
you see it in the news every nite...there's a battle going on between good and evil. evil in this world fights against and seeks to undermine the truths God has laid out. i believe that is why it is hard at times to see our lives from God's perspective and to cooperate with His plan for our lives. every person has to take a stand; we are either part of the solution or we will be sucked in and become part of the problem...
it is easy to feel like your life is not going anywhere because the standard we use for evaluating ourselves is based on standards set by the world. it's an easy trap to fall into. in every age group, every nationality, every profession, there are worldly standards that tell us how to measure ourselves. but that is not how God wants us to live and evaluate ourselves.
one of my favorite movies is "mr. holland's opus." he had concluded in his life that he had overestimated his value, when actually...he had underestimated his value. he wasn't seeing the whole picture. he was "stuck" on his symphony...that once he completed this...everything else would fall into place...he would be famous and rich. he thought of himself as a failure because he couldn't see past this one thing in his life...
after he cleaned out his desk, his wife and son escorted him into the auditorium where a surprise awaited him. the hall was filled with colleagues and students...past and present...who had gathered to let him know how much his life had meant to them.
one of the students that had been touched by him...and her life had been greatly impacted by him..was now the governor of their state...as she rose to address mr. holland and all those in the room...she started off by telling everyone how he had impacted her life. she ended by saying..."look around you. there is not a life in this room that you have not touched. and each one of us is a better person because of you. we are your symphony, mr. holland. we are the melodies and the notes of your opus, and we are the music of your life."
wow...
we can learn something from mr. holland's experience, like him, most of us draw conclusions about ourselves in the walk of our daily grind. we may assume things like what we do won't really matter or impact anyone...or that it is not possible that we can make a significant difference...but God says that is just not true...
God's word is true...God has a plan for each of us that will bring us fulfillment. those truths can sometimes look dim when you look at them in light of the influences that surround you...we cannot afford to believe only what we see in this world that is warped by wickedness, because our perceptions determine our responses. if we want to respond to God by following His plan and His way, then we must perceive and believe what He says of us more than we believe what appears to be true in this fallen world.
i think there are very few people that get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say, "wow, i'm really happy with the way i look"
most compare themselves to the covers of magazines or to the actors that are seen on our tv screens...
those with curly hair wish they had straight hair...
those that are shy wish they were more outgoing...
those that are curvy...wish they were not...
those that are not curvy...wish they were...
dissatisfaction seems to be part of human nature. we spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on what we do not have instead of thanking God for how he has made us...
in my years working as a fashion consultant...this is the challenge...working with the client's assets and hiding the parts that are not so desirable to them...clothes can do wonders if fit properly...they can hide and camouflage...if done right...they can also give the illusion of something that is not really there...
sometimes a person gets "stuck" on one issue...they are waiting to lose that last 10 pounds...then they will start buying the right clothes...not seeing that the right clothes can look like they already lost those last 10 pounds...
being "stuck" on the one issue is preventing them from moving on...
but what about when you are not happy with your life?
we each have a choice to make...when you realize that your life is playing out in a sea of conflict, and you are on a road to nowhere...you have to choose where your loyalty lies. it's either going to be lined up with God or it is going to be lined up with a world view.
it is easy to get off track...to see how our life should be via the world's message through the media. i believe that God has a plan for each of our lives...one that He does not impose on us...unless we ask Him in. God allows us a great deal of freedom in whether or not we will comply with His will. You can choose to follow His plan or follow your own plan.
you see it in the news every nite...there's a battle going on between good and evil. evil in this world fights against and seeks to undermine the truths God has laid out. i believe that is why it is hard at times to see our lives from God's perspective and to cooperate with His plan for our lives. every person has to take a stand; we are either part of the solution or we will be sucked in and become part of the problem...
it is easy to feel like your life is not going anywhere because the standard we use for evaluating ourselves is based on standards set by the world. it's an easy trap to fall into. in every age group, every nationality, every profession, there are worldly standards that tell us how to measure ourselves. but that is not how God wants us to live and evaluate ourselves.
one of my favorite movies is "mr. holland's opus." he had concluded in his life that he had overestimated his value, when actually...he had underestimated his value. he wasn't seeing the whole picture. he was "stuck" on his symphony...that once he completed this...everything else would fall into place...he would be famous and rich. he thought of himself as a failure because he couldn't see past this one thing in his life...
after he cleaned out his desk, his wife and son escorted him into the auditorium where a surprise awaited him. the hall was filled with colleagues and students...past and present...who had gathered to let him know how much his life had meant to them.
one of the students that had been touched by him...and her life had been greatly impacted by him..was now the governor of their state...as she rose to address mr. holland and all those in the room...she started off by telling everyone how he had impacted her life. she ended by saying..."look around you. there is not a life in this room that you have not touched. and each one of us is a better person because of you. we are your symphony, mr. holland. we are the melodies and the notes of your opus, and we are the music of your life."
wow...
we can learn something from mr. holland's experience, like him, most of us draw conclusions about ourselves in the walk of our daily grind. we may assume things like what we do won't really matter or impact anyone...or that it is not possible that we can make a significant difference...but God says that is just not true...
God's word is true...God has a plan for each of us that will bring us fulfillment. those truths can sometimes look dim when you look at them in light of the influences that surround you...we cannot afford to believe only what we see in this world that is warped by wickedness, because our perceptions determine our responses. if we want to respond to God by following His plan and His way, then we must perceive and believe what He says of us more than we believe what appears to be true in this fallen world.
Monday, October 27, 2008
taking a moment...
there are always tiny moments in life that are reminders to us...possibly a learning moment...the key is to be open to them...i think a lot of that is missed when we are in a hurry with our list of things to do...or on our way to somewhere...and miss all the in between time...
i had such a moment this weekend...it was just a moment...but it confirmed for me how i want to live my life...i have always loved meeting people...learning where they are from...backgrounds...culture...my friends often times laugh at me...because i talk to just about anyone...in elevators, stores...just about anywhere there are people...
while walking down rodeo drive in beverly hills on saturday...we were passing a store as a man was walking out...he stopped...grabbed my hand...and said "hello...where are you lovely ladies from?"
as we talked to him...we found out he was from italy...the owner of bellini's...he owned 42 stores...he continued talking to us...giving my nieces advice about staying in school... going to college...following passions...
we were deep in conversation...right there in front of his store...when one of his employees came out and said that he had a phone call...he politely told them to take a message...that he was in the middle of a conversation with four beautiful women...
the employee than informed him that it was italy on the phone...and the owner again said...just take a message...i will call them back...
what i took away from this...as this was obviously a very busy man...a very wealthy man...was he realized balance...it wasn't all about working...running back in to answer a call from italy...but that people were important...and while talking to someone...which was us at the moment...what he was doing at that moment was what required his complete attention...
we were complete strangers to him...but he showed that he lived in the moment...and that everything had its time and place...
our weekend was full of living in the moment...and i came back home very relaxed...having a weekend full of all the simple pleasures...some of which i hadn't done in so long...watching the sunset...squishing my toes in the sand...
the reminder for me...was to take moments...and lavish in them...while in the moment...take it all in...don't be thinking about the next thing on the list...that time will come...
in a world of cell phones, email, texting...it is so easy to be distracted...but for me...i want to live in the moment...when i am spending time with someone...to turn off the phone...and really concentrate on my time with who i am with...whether it be family or friend...
after all...isn't that what voicemail is for anyway?
i had such a moment this weekend...it was just a moment...but it confirmed for me how i want to live my life...i have always loved meeting people...learning where they are from...backgrounds...culture...my friends often times laugh at me...because i talk to just about anyone...in elevators, stores...just about anywhere there are people...
while walking down rodeo drive in beverly hills on saturday...we were passing a store as a man was walking out...he stopped...grabbed my hand...and said "hello...where are you lovely ladies from?"
as we talked to him...we found out he was from italy...the owner of bellini's...he owned 42 stores...he continued talking to us...giving my nieces advice about staying in school... going to college...following passions...
we were deep in conversation...right there in front of his store...when one of his employees came out and said that he had a phone call...he politely told them to take a message...that he was in the middle of a conversation with four beautiful women...
the employee than informed him that it was italy on the phone...and the owner again said...just take a message...i will call them back...
what i took away from this...as this was obviously a very busy man...a very wealthy man...was he realized balance...it wasn't all about working...running back in to answer a call from italy...but that people were important...and while talking to someone...which was us at the moment...what he was doing at that moment was what required his complete attention...
we were complete strangers to him...but he showed that he lived in the moment...and that everything had its time and place...
our weekend was full of living in the moment...and i came back home very relaxed...having a weekend full of all the simple pleasures...some of which i hadn't done in so long...watching the sunset...squishing my toes in the sand...
the reminder for me...was to take moments...and lavish in them...while in the moment...take it all in...don't be thinking about the next thing on the list...that time will come...
in a world of cell phones, email, texting...it is so easy to be distracted...but for me...i want to live in the moment...when i am spending time with someone...to turn off the phone...and really concentrate on my time with who i am with...whether it be family or friend...
after all...isn't that what voicemail is for anyway?
Friday, October 24, 2008
fun in the sun...
my day today consisted of driving along the beautiful malibu shores along pacific coast highway...seriously...what could be better? well probably the fact that i'm spending the weekend with my two beautiful nieces and their mom...
our road trip began at 2:30 am (ok...not so fun)...but now that we are here...we all seem to have caught our second wind...
we have managed to check out two college campuses...which was the point of the trip...now with that behind us...it is fun fun fun going forward...
so much on the agenda...what will come first? we are definately hitting the santa monica piers...beverly hills (rodeo drive!)...hollywood blvd...we will definately dip our toes in the beautiful ocean...hot tubbing at nite...
the weather is absolutely gorgeous...honestly...we could not have asked for a more picture perfect day...and weekend...
now it is time for a dip in the pool...before nite-time activities...
our road trip began at 2:30 am (ok...not so fun)...but now that we are here...we all seem to have caught our second wind...
we have managed to check out two college campuses...which was the point of the trip...now with that behind us...it is fun fun fun going forward...
so much on the agenda...what will come first? we are definately hitting the santa monica piers...beverly hills (rodeo drive!)...hollywood blvd...we will definately dip our toes in the beautiful ocean...hot tubbing at nite...
the weather is absolutely gorgeous...honestly...we could not have asked for a more picture perfect day...and weekend...
now it is time for a dip in the pool...before nite-time activities...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
seasons come and seasons go...
one of my favorite seasons is fall...i love the changing of the leaves...all the spectacular colors...red, yellow and orange...bursting forth...of course...here in the bay area...it may be one out of every three trees...but none the less...i look for those trees...
traveling to the east coast...the differences in the fall trees were vast in the fall...every tree was full of color...bursting with amazing colors...
the thing about seasons...is that although there is a beginning and an end...some seasons i always wish lasted longer...but i have reassurance that in the coming year...i will be able to enjoy my favorite season...again...
but what about seasons in friendships?
i have always believed that there are seasons in our life...and people enter them...sometimes for just a season...sometimes for a lifetime...
i have had to end some friendships where the season was dwindling out...the decision was hard...but i knew that these were people that were toxic in my life...and the cost of keeping them around was doing more harm than good...this decision also came after many many failed attempts to try and work out our differences...but...in the end...they knew the reasons for the decision...
but what about when a friendship ends...and you have no idea why? the questions can overwhelm you if you let them...
i guess the best way to describe the feeling - well it is sort of like being discarded...like a piece of trash...so what do you do with these feelings?
i choose to focus on the person i am...because once again...i am the only one whose actions i can control...i have always been one who treasures my friendships... friendship is something that takes work...it takes time...and it takes commitment...
for those who really know me...you know my friendships mean everything to me...and when given the chance...i give whole-heartedly to them...do i risk the chance of being hurt? probably...but i believe it is a risk worth taking...
because of it i have incredible friends in my life...but recently i have focused on the recent friend who decided to walk away...the funny thing is that there is really nothing i could have done differently...this person knew that there was nothing i wouldn't do for them...and for many many years...i believe that i gave my all...even when they had nothing to give back...and was told on many occasions of how i was appreciated...how i was "always there for them"
and then we went from talking every day to silence...
so if i wanted to...i'm sure that i could think of the "maybe" as to why my good was not good enough...but i need to go back to seasons...just as they come and go...so do friendships...sometimes by our decisions...sometimes not...
to build a friendship and to keep one from dying - well it requires work...and it requires intimacy...intimacy in sharing each others fears, loves and dreams...there are ways to provide opportunities for intimacy, but true intimacy involves communication. sooner or later you have to share with a friend if you want the friendship to be meaningful.
we all crave deep friendships. we were born with a need for them...for connection...but they don't come just by wanting them, they come as we give the time, share the dreams of our hearts, and are willing to be intimate. i like this saying: "a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." but they can only sing it back if you have shown your heart...
so in this season...i will continue to be the best friend that i can be to my friends...and i will keep my heart open for friends...
friends, who all start out just as people you meet, are truly one of heaven's greatest gifts to you...
and who knows...you could meet one of the best friends you will ever have next week! and so...another season begins...
traveling to the east coast...the differences in the fall trees were vast in the fall...every tree was full of color...bursting with amazing colors...
the thing about seasons...is that although there is a beginning and an end...some seasons i always wish lasted longer...but i have reassurance that in the coming year...i will be able to enjoy my favorite season...again...
but what about seasons in friendships?
i have always believed that there are seasons in our life...and people enter them...sometimes for just a season...sometimes for a lifetime...
i have had to end some friendships where the season was dwindling out...the decision was hard...but i knew that these were people that were toxic in my life...and the cost of keeping them around was doing more harm than good...this decision also came after many many failed attempts to try and work out our differences...but...in the end...they knew the reasons for the decision...
but what about when a friendship ends...and you have no idea why? the questions can overwhelm you if you let them...
i guess the best way to describe the feeling - well it is sort of like being discarded...like a piece of trash...so what do you do with these feelings?
i choose to focus on the person i am...because once again...i am the only one whose actions i can control...i have always been one who treasures my friendships... friendship is something that takes work...it takes time...and it takes commitment...
for those who really know me...you know my friendships mean everything to me...and when given the chance...i give whole-heartedly to them...do i risk the chance of being hurt? probably...but i believe it is a risk worth taking...
because of it i have incredible friends in my life...but recently i have focused on the recent friend who decided to walk away...the funny thing is that there is really nothing i could have done differently...this person knew that there was nothing i wouldn't do for them...and for many many years...i believe that i gave my all...even when they had nothing to give back...and was told on many occasions of how i was appreciated...how i was "always there for them"
and then we went from talking every day to silence...
so if i wanted to...i'm sure that i could think of the "maybe" as to why my good was not good enough...but i need to go back to seasons...just as they come and go...so do friendships...sometimes by our decisions...sometimes not...
to build a friendship and to keep one from dying - well it requires work...and it requires intimacy...intimacy in sharing each others fears, loves and dreams...there are ways to provide opportunities for intimacy, but true intimacy involves communication. sooner or later you have to share with a friend if you want the friendship to be meaningful.
we all crave deep friendships. we were born with a need for them...for connection...but they don't come just by wanting them, they come as we give the time, share the dreams of our hearts, and are willing to be intimate. i like this saying: "a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." but they can only sing it back if you have shown your heart...
so in this season...i will continue to be the best friend that i can be to my friends...and i will keep my heart open for friends...
friends, who all start out just as people you meet, are truly one of heaven's greatest gifts to you...
and who knows...you could meet one of the best friends you will ever have next week! and so...another season begins...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
homework assignment...the letter
i received a homework assignment yesterday...
my one niece who is a senior this year is studying "hamlet" in her ap english class...early in the "hamlet" play a father (polonius) offers advice to his son (laertes), who is about to leave home for france.
my niece needed to ask two people to write such a letter to her as she takes off for college...away from home...i was one of the two that she asked...wow...what an honor...what an opportunity...
as i sit in front of a blank page...it is not that i have nothing to say...it is just such a grand responsibility to say everything i want to say to her...to encourage her...to support her...to share lessons learned...
there is so much i want her to know...but more than lessons learned...i want her to always follow her dreams...to never let someone make her feel like she can't achieve what she wants to achieve...that there will be days when she feels like she can't go on...that her heart may be broken...
but mostly...i want her to know...how much she is loved...how beautiful she is...inside and out...and that i am always here for her...always...
i'm having a bit of writers block on this assignment...but i'm excited...to be able to put on paper what i think of her...and what i hope for her...
once done...i need to seal the letter in an envelope...which will be read by her and her alone...when she is in her college dorm...facing a wonderful world...and wonderful new opportunities...
my one niece who is a senior this year is studying "hamlet" in her ap english class...early in the "hamlet" play a father (polonius) offers advice to his son (laertes), who is about to leave home for france.
my niece needed to ask two people to write such a letter to her as she takes off for college...away from home...i was one of the two that she asked...wow...what an honor...what an opportunity...
as i sit in front of a blank page...it is not that i have nothing to say...it is just such a grand responsibility to say everything i want to say to her...to encourage her...to support her...to share lessons learned...
there is so much i want her to know...but more than lessons learned...i want her to always follow her dreams...to never let someone make her feel like she can't achieve what she wants to achieve...that there will be days when she feels like she can't go on...that her heart may be broken...
but mostly...i want her to know...how much she is loved...how beautiful she is...inside and out...and that i am always here for her...always...
i'm having a bit of writers block on this assignment...but i'm excited...to be able to put on paper what i think of her...and what i hope for her...
once done...i need to seal the letter in an envelope...which will be read by her and her alone...when she is in her college dorm...facing a wonderful world...and wonderful new opportunities...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
lessons from a tea bag...
i have a book that keeps all my favorite quotes...every once in a while...i will read through them...and they spark memories...some good...some bad...what i love about quotes is that so much can be said in so little...
"and the day came when the risk [it took] to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - anais nin
i have been going through a major revamp of my life...many things have remained the same...my relationship with my God, my family and true friends...i continue to work on them and to nurture them...and to keep them at the forefront of my life...
but...i have been on a journey...really evaluating every piece of me that i like...that i don't like...all that is lovely, hideous, fun, dry, sinful, beautiful...i have been surrendering it all...i have been allowing the the hard things that i have gone through to make me better rather than bitter...
when we allow God to pour His love over us...we are changed...
as i was making my tea last nite...i started focusing on the tea bag...the tea bag "works" when it is submerged in boiling hot water...and once it allows that hot scorching water to penetrate it...a wonderful taste submerges...and depending on what flavor the tea bag..a fragrant aroma...
this is alot of what my life has been lately...i feel as i have been submerged in thinking through many areas in my life that needed attention...not all of it was bad...some was just stagnant...but never the less...it called for attention...i have been trying to be more like Him...and a little less like me...
God's love can't pour over us...until we allow it...but when we do...we are changed...
i had to look at the place i was in my life...depending on the subject matter...i was in different places at the same time...if that makes any sense...
in some area's of my life...i was crying uncle...in other words...i was screaming out..."no more...i give up"
some area's i felt exposed
i felt ready to give up
i felt ready to tell the truth and bring some honesty into my life
i felt life had turned out harder than i ever imagined...
what i knew...was that i needed to "still" my heart...and let God's love seep through me...and when i did that...wonderful things started to happen...
i feel i am finally blossoming into the woman i was meant to be...i am realizing the true passion of my heart...my longings...i have sought deeply in looking at my personal yearnings, desires, wishes - those places deep down in my soul that have felt empty and unsatisfied...and hollow...
i'm not going to lie and say that this has been fun...it has brought me to the place where i had to stare at my past hurt, disappointment and sadness straight on...but i can say with honesty that getting myself to do this...rather than running from it...well it has radically changed me...
finding the courage to really look at my life, my dreams, my longings, my hurts...it has fostered a dependency on God that i have never known before...
what i know is that there is no life without pain, no treasure without the hunt...i believe that getting things easy will never make us the person God intended us to be...my journey has unveiled things about me that i had forgotten...passions that had become dim...
with each new day...i am becoming a person that i am truly happy with...the woman i always wanted to be...have my circumstances changed? uh - no! but my perceptions and expectancies have...and the view - well...it is quite remarkable...
"and the day came when the risk [it took] to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - anais nin
i have been going through a major revamp of my life...many things have remained the same...my relationship with my God, my family and true friends...i continue to work on them and to nurture them...and to keep them at the forefront of my life...
but...i have been on a journey...really evaluating every piece of me that i like...that i don't like...all that is lovely, hideous, fun, dry, sinful, beautiful...i have been surrendering it all...i have been allowing the the hard things that i have gone through to make me better rather than bitter...
when we allow God to pour His love over us...we are changed...
as i was making my tea last nite...i started focusing on the tea bag...the tea bag "works" when it is submerged in boiling hot water...and once it allows that hot scorching water to penetrate it...a wonderful taste submerges...and depending on what flavor the tea bag..a fragrant aroma...
this is alot of what my life has been lately...i feel as i have been submerged in thinking through many areas in my life that needed attention...not all of it was bad...some was just stagnant...but never the less...it called for attention...i have been trying to be more like Him...and a little less like me...
God's love can't pour over us...until we allow it...but when we do...we are changed...
i had to look at the place i was in my life...depending on the subject matter...i was in different places at the same time...if that makes any sense...
in some area's of my life...i was crying uncle...in other words...i was screaming out..."no more...i give up"
some area's i felt exposed
i felt ready to give up
i felt ready to tell the truth and bring some honesty into my life
i felt life had turned out harder than i ever imagined...
what i knew...was that i needed to "still" my heart...and let God's love seep through me...and when i did that...wonderful things started to happen...
i feel i am finally blossoming into the woman i was meant to be...i am realizing the true passion of my heart...my longings...i have sought deeply in looking at my personal yearnings, desires, wishes - those places deep down in my soul that have felt empty and unsatisfied...and hollow...
i'm not going to lie and say that this has been fun...it has brought me to the place where i had to stare at my past hurt, disappointment and sadness straight on...but i can say with honesty that getting myself to do this...rather than running from it...well it has radically changed me...
finding the courage to really look at my life, my dreams, my longings, my hurts...it has fostered a dependency on God that i have never known before...
what i know is that there is no life without pain, no treasure without the hunt...i believe that getting things easy will never make us the person God intended us to be...my journey has unveiled things about me that i had forgotten...passions that had become dim...
with each new day...i am becoming a person that i am truly happy with...the woman i always wanted to be...have my circumstances changed? uh - no! but my perceptions and expectancies have...and the view - well...it is quite remarkable...
Monday, October 20, 2008
christmas in the air...
this morning i was able to go to the 20th annual dicken's house in hillsborough...
every year a different home is chosen...and each room is designed and decorated by a different designer...this is honestly one of my favorite things during this time of year...it is the "start" of my holiday thinking...and sets the tone..and the excitement for the coming season...
dicken's house is always held at the end of october...not only are you able to walk through a newly furnished & decorated home...but it is completely "dressed" for christmas...and throughout the home there are wonderful items that can be purchased...such as ornaments, vases, table toppers...all the way to the kitchen which is full of chocolate fudge, popcorn, drinks, jams & unique sauces...
"with its warm earth-tones, arched windows and quaint wrought-iron balconies, this year's dicken's house is reminiscent of an old country-french chateau. but once visitors step inside the grand foyer, with its gleaming wood floors, fresh paint and perfect symmetry, there's no doubt that this is a new home."
this actual home is unique in that it was actually designed by the owner of the home, a mother of two who left behind a law career to launch a company that designs and builds homes. she certainly saw the potential in this house and transformed it into a 3-level home, just over 5,000 square feet. it is a relaxed and elegant blend of modern conveniences paired with traditional touches like wainscoting, generous moldings and large, arched windows and doorways that allow light to fill the home.
after taking in the vastness of the home...my favorite part is seeing all the christmas trees in each room...each is decorated different than the last...with all the ornaments and accessories ready to buy...the home is filled with christmas smells and music...and the hustle and bustle of all the people chatting away....excitement in the voices at treasures found...
well - it just makes me want christmas to get here sooner...
i got some new ideas for my home this year...but first...gotta get through another favorite holiday...thanksgiving!
every year a different home is chosen...and each room is designed and decorated by a different designer...this is honestly one of my favorite things during this time of year...it is the "start" of my holiday thinking...and sets the tone..and the excitement for the coming season...
dicken's house is always held at the end of october...not only are you able to walk through a newly furnished & decorated home...but it is completely "dressed" for christmas...and throughout the home there are wonderful items that can be purchased...such as ornaments, vases, table toppers...all the way to the kitchen which is full of chocolate fudge, popcorn, drinks, jams & unique sauces...
"with its warm earth-tones, arched windows and quaint wrought-iron balconies, this year's dicken's house is reminiscent of an old country-french chateau. but once visitors step inside the grand foyer, with its gleaming wood floors, fresh paint and perfect symmetry, there's no doubt that this is a new home."
this actual home is unique in that it was actually designed by the owner of the home, a mother of two who left behind a law career to launch a company that designs and builds homes. she certainly saw the potential in this house and transformed it into a 3-level home, just over 5,000 square feet. it is a relaxed and elegant blend of modern conveniences paired with traditional touches like wainscoting, generous moldings and large, arched windows and doorways that allow light to fill the home.
after taking in the vastness of the home...my favorite part is seeing all the christmas trees in each room...each is decorated different than the last...with all the ornaments and accessories ready to buy...the home is filled with christmas smells and music...and the hustle and bustle of all the people chatting away....excitement in the voices at treasures found...
well - it just makes me want christmas to get here sooner...
i got some new ideas for my home this year...but first...gotta get through another favorite holiday...thanksgiving!
Friday, October 17, 2008
sweet talk on the porch...
last nite on my way to meeting some friends for dinner...i saw the most precious sight...completely warmed my heart...
as i was making my way down hillsdale blvd (fairly busy & noisy street) sitting in bumper to bumper traffic...on a city street (gotta love the bay area) i came to a complete stop...i looked over to my left and there they were...
the home was a very small house...pretty broken down...paint peeling...front lawn was bare...and there was a tiny porch - no wider than maybe 2 1/2 to 3 feet...
on the porch sat an elderly couple...they had to be in there 80's...sitting face to face in these little white plastic chairs...knee to knee...in their own little world...oblivious to the noise around them...deep in conversation...
when i see moments such as these - my mind wanders...what are they talking about? are they reminiscing? are they sharing about there day? what life they must have lived...
what struck me most...was that it didn't matter where they were...they were not in some big spacious home...or in some quiet secluded area...but they focused on what mattered most...and at that moment...it didn't matter where they were...or who was around them...they had each other...
this scene warmed my heart...put a smile on my face...there is something about that face to face conversation...in a world of instant messaging, texting and email...may we take the time to not care where we are...but focus and make available the time to spend with those we love...
as i was making my way down hillsdale blvd (fairly busy & noisy street) sitting in bumper to bumper traffic...on a city street (gotta love the bay area) i came to a complete stop...i looked over to my left and there they were...
the home was a very small house...pretty broken down...paint peeling...front lawn was bare...and there was a tiny porch - no wider than maybe 2 1/2 to 3 feet...
on the porch sat an elderly couple...they had to be in there 80's...sitting face to face in these little white plastic chairs...knee to knee...in their own little world...oblivious to the noise around them...deep in conversation...
when i see moments such as these - my mind wanders...what are they talking about? are they reminiscing? are they sharing about there day? what life they must have lived...
what struck me most...was that it didn't matter where they were...they were not in some big spacious home...or in some quiet secluded area...but they focused on what mattered most...and at that moment...it didn't matter where they were...or who was around them...they had each other...
this scene warmed my heart...put a smile on my face...there is something about that face to face conversation...in a world of instant messaging, texting and email...may we take the time to not care where we are...but focus and make available the time to spend with those we love...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
cleaning...not my idea of fun...
i have a girlfriend who loves to clean...and hates to shop...
i know...it's hard for me to grasp as well...
i, on the other hand...love to shop...and HATE to clean...
when it comes to cleaning...i have noticed that i will be able to find just about any other activity that needs to be done...just to avoid cleaning...
during a lunch with a few girlfriends a few weeks ago...we got on the subject of cleaning...how their husbands help or don't help in the cleaning process...we laughed at the stories of when they first got married...and the realization that one chore can be done more than one way...and in certain things...it was unbearable to one for it to be done any other way than the way they were taught...so they then...inherited that chore...
for me...what i took from what i was taught in cleaning...one area i did make a complete change...my mom...who is complete opposite of me...when it comes to cleaning...had this idea that the whole house was to be cleaned on saturday...the house had to be clean for sunday...and...of course...i helped in that...being the only girl in the family (other than my mom) i would clean the house as my brothers took off for a day of fun...yeah...there was a bit of jealousy there...i have to admit...
when i moved out...i refused to clean on saturdays...i would clean on a monday nite...or a wed morning...any day but saturday...
lately though...i have this massive job looming over me of doing a major spring cleaning...(i know...it is now fall) do you now see my dilemma? i want to clean...i need to clean...but yet...i do not clean...
i have had many suggestions from friends...especially my one friend who "loves" to clean...
do a little every day
don't move from room to room - clean the one...and then move on to the next
i'll come over and help (yes...i have great friends)
make a list - divide each job into smaller jobs...
my suggestion? light a match and start all over ;o)
of course...i wouldn't do that...because i have so many things in my home that i love...
but as i have been cleaning up my life...the "last step" is to completely cleanup my home...i have accumulated so much "junk" in drawers and closets and shelves...
so today...i stand before you and say...today is the first day of my home going through a complete overhaul...there will be lots of shredding...lots of trips to goodwill...and with my emotions set aside...i will get rid of things i have been holding on to...that do nothing for me...
time to make room for the new...time to live a clutter-free life...
this is a project that will take some time...but i already feel lighter just telling you about it...
i know...it's hard for me to grasp as well...
i, on the other hand...love to shop...and HATE to clean...
when it comes to cleaning...i have noticed that i will be able to find just about any other activity that needs to be done...just to avoid cleaning...
during a lunch with a few girlfriends a few weeks ago...we got on the subject of cleaning...how their husbands help or don't help in the cleaning process...we laughed at the stories of when they first got married...and the realization that one chore can be done more than one way...and in certain things...it was unbearable to one for it to be done any other way than the way they were taught...so they then...inherited that chore...
for me...what i took from what i was taught in cleaning...one area i did make a complete change...my mom...who is complete opposite of me...when it comes to cleaning...had this idea that the whole house was to be cleaned on saturday...the house had to be clean for sunday...and...of course...i helped in that...being the only girl in the family (other than my mom) i would clean the house as my brothers took off for a day of fun...yeah...there was a bit of jealousy there...i have to admit...
when i moved out...i refused to clean on saturdays...i would clean on a monday nite...or a wed morning...any day but saturday...
lately though...i have this massive job looming over me of doing a major spring cleaning...(i know...it is now fall) do you now see my dilemma? i want to clean...i need to clean...but yet...i do not clean...
i have had many suggestions from friends...especially my one friend who "loves" to clean...
do a little every day
don't move from room to room - clean the one...and then move on to the next
i'll come over and help (yes...i have great friends)
make a list - divide each job into smaller jobs...
my suggestion? light a match and start all over ;o)
of course...i wouldn't do that...because i have so many things in my home that i love...
but as i have been cleaning up my life...the "last step" is to completely cleanup my home...i have accumulated so much "junk" in drawers and closets and shelves...
so today...i stand before you and say...today is the first day of my home going through a complete overhaul...there will be lots of shredding...lots of trips to goodwill...and with my emotions set aside...i will get rid of things i have been holding on to...that do nothing for me...
time to make room for the new...time to live a clutter-free life...
this is a project that will take some time...but i already feel lighter just telling you about it...
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
finding the meaning in today...
as i reflect on this last month and all of its changes...i find myself smiling...
i still remember the moment that i decided to make a change...it wasn't a drastic change...there were many things in my life that were good...really good...but i realized how many things were put on the back burner...for one reason or another...but mostly...because i thought my life was going in one direction...
when i hit that dead-end...i had two choices...to wallow in my misfortune...or change direction...i chose the latter...with a new motto..."don't miss the life that is in front of you"
sarah ban breathnach wrote in simple abundance, "if i do not endow my life and my work with meaning, no one will ever be able to do it for me."
i believe that my attitude determines a majority of how i view my life...if i do not think that enough meaning exists in my life, i need to change it...
i have made a conscious effort to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary...every day...in my errands..whether it be a long drive...or a short drive...thinking of all the things i pass...yet usually do not notice. the scenery...the flowers...a baby laughing...a puppy being taken for a walk. opportunities to minister, chances to have my breath taken away by beauty, a new idea for my business. missed - all for paying half attention.
the amazing thing...is i have lost count on how many people have said to me..."you seem so different"..."you seem so happy"
my first thought...of course...is...was i that misearable? but i don't linger there...i know i am different...in my heart...deep down in my heart...things have changed...my attitude has changed...the way i look at life has changed...my priorities have changed...my focus has changed...
i am different...
don't get me wrong...nothing has really changed in my life...as far as my circumstances...but i have finally allowed my soul to bubble over in everything i do...whether it is running errands, working off my to-do list (not fun) or spending time with my friends and family...i know that my happiness isn't dependent upon other people or circumstances...every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God...
so when you catch yourself having a bad day...say this out loud: "the quality of my life is determined by one thing: my attitude towards it" say it again and again...
enjoy the moments...breathe in the beauty. celebrate the significance and wonder of life. don't wait until it hits you over the head. it's already there; embrace it!
i still remember the moment that i decided to make a change...it wasn't a drastic change...there were many things in my life that were good...really good...but i realized how many things were put on the back burner...for one reason or another...but mostly...because i thought my life was going in one direction...
when i hit that dead-end...i had two choices...to wallow in my misfortune...or change direction...i chose the latter...with a new motto..."don't miss the life that is in front of you"
sarah ban breathnach wrote in simple abundance, "if i do not endow my life and my work with meaning, no one will ever be able to do it for me."
i believe that my attitude determines a majority of how i view my life...if i do not think that enough meaning exists in my life, i need to change it...
i have made a conscious effort to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary...every day...in my errands..whether it be a long drive...or a short drive...thinking of all the things i pass...yet usually do not notice. the scenery...the flowers...a baby laughing...a puppy being taken for a walk. opportunities to minister, chances to have my breath taken away by beauty, a new idea for my business. missed - all for paying half attention.
the amazing thing...is i have lost count on how many people have said to me..."you seem so different"..."you seem so happy"
my first thought...of course...is...was i that misearable? but i don't linger there...i know i am different...in my heart...deep down in my heart...things have changed...my attitude has changed...the way i look at life has changed...my priorities have changed...my focus has changed...
i am different...
don't get me wrong...nothing has really changed in my life...as far as my circumstances...but i have finally allowed my soul to bubble over in everything i do...whether it is running errands, working off my to-do list (not fun) or spending time with my friends and family...i know that my happiness isn't dependent upon other people or circumstances...every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God...
so when you catch yourself having a bad day...say this out loud: "the quality of my life is determined by one thing: my attitude towards it" say it again and again...
enjoy the moments...breathe in the beauty. celebrate the significance and wonder of life. don't wait until it hits you over the head. it's already there; embrace it!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
to trust or not to trust...
the minute i heard my girlfriends voice last night on the phone...i knew something was wrong...she could barely get the words out...all she could mutter was..."i trusted him"
yeah...i know what that feels like...
but i also knew...she just needed someone to talk to...so i let her...and i listened...through her tears...she spoke of her heartbreak...her disbelief...and then she said it..."i will never trust again"
everyone has a story of how trust was broken and why they can't trust. not trusting comes naturally. actually, i think trusting came first, and then sadly we learned to distrust. once we distrust, it is hard to go back to trusting again.
the way to enriching relationships though...is trusting...
but what about people who aren't trustworthy? are you supposed to trust even when you might get hurt? what if someone has let you down? how can you trust them, and should you?
if you trust someone and they let you down, were you wrong for trusting? or were they wrong for letting you down? just because you trusted them doesn't make you a fool...if anything, we can be proud of the fact that we trusted.
so much like love...when we love someone who doesn't love us, are we fools? or are we better people for having loved, even if that love wasn't returned?
when we have a problem with trusting, we must ask ourselves this question: if i trust this person, and they let me down, what is the worst thing that could happen? the answer will reveal to us the fear that keeps us from trusting...
some of us would rather mistrust another individual and be "right" rather than gain the benefit of trusting and be wrong about the person.
i choose to believe the best in people and be sad when i am mistaken rather than believe the worst and seek to find confirmation..not trusting doesn't make you the "winner"
this...of course...does not mean that we will not be scarred in the process of learning to trust...it does not mean that we don't want others to do what they say they will or strive to honor their word...but it is to say that we know that, ultimately, there will be times when others will let us down...they will dissapoint and frustrate us...but we can choose at that point...whether their hearts toward us are good...or if their hearts are not toward us at all...
yeah...i know what that feels like...
but i also knew...she just needed someone to talk to...so i let her...and i listened...through her tears...she spoke of her heartbreak...her disbelief...and then she said it..."i will never trust again"
everyone has a story of how trust was broken and why they can't trust. not trusting comes naturally. actually, i think trusting came first, and then sadly we learned to distrust. once we distrust, it is hard to go back to trusting again.
the way to enriching relationships though...is trusting...
but what about people who aren't trustworthy? are you supposed to trust even when you might get hurt? what if someone has let you down? how can you trust them, and should you?
if you trust someone and they let you down, were you wrong for trusting? or were they wrong for letting you down? just because you trusted them doesn't make you a fool...if anything, we can be proud of the fact that we trusted.
so much like love...when we love someone who doesn't love us, are we fools? or are we better people for having loved, even if that love wasn't returned?
when we have a problem with trusting, we must ask ourselves this question: if i trust this person, and they let me down, what is the worst thing that could happen? the answer will reveal to us the fear that keeps us from trusting...
some of us would rather mistrust another individual and be "right" rather than gain the benefit of trusting and be wrong about the person.
i choose to believe the best in people and be sad when i am mistaken rather than believe the worst and seek to find confirmation..not trusting doesn't make you the "winner"
this...of course...does not mean that we will not be scarred in the process of learning to trust...it does not mean that we don't want others to do what they say they will or strive to honor their word...but it is to say that we know that, ultimately, there will be times when others will let us down...they will dissapoint and frustrate us...but we can choose at that point...whether their hearts toward us are good...or if their hearts are not toward us at all...
Monday, October 13, 2008
what a show...
in all the years that i worked in corporate america in san francisco...one of the things i remember most that brought excitement to the office...was the blue angels practicing for fleet week...they would fly overhead and everyone would stop what they were doing to catch a glimpse of the incredible speed and timing...and if you couldn't see it...you definately heard it...
when i had my corner office...with its big windows...my office would be the prime spot...you literally could sit there...and in seconds they would appear...right outside...so close...so fast...so scary...
saturday i had the opportunity to go to the blue angels air show...now this is a whole different experience...to sit and see the whole show up above...i just sat in awe of the formation and synchronization...and at such speed...
it was quite the full day...it started with the "parade of ships"...it would have been nice to see the ship tours..but that was scheduled for sunday...this was followed by the air show...one of my favorites was the "canadian forces snowbirds"...they looked like 9 red birds soaring through the blue sky...
but everyone was anticipating and waiting for the highlight of the day...the grand finale..with the blue angels...and they did not disappoint...
all in all...my favorites were the nose-dives...i held my breath every single time...saying a silent prayer that they would be ok...
it was also an emotional day...there were hundreds of thousands of people there...family and friends gathered...there were many moving moments...at times overwhelming...a sense of pride and respect for the armed forces...there were times that some would walk by in uniform...and it was wonderful to see such thankfulness and respect poured out towards them...
it reminded me of a sermon that i had heard a while back by pastor Joel Osteen...he had been talking how he had gone to the mall...and as he sat and watched all the people bustling around...he couldn't believe that we were a nation at war...i remember how it hit me...as he poured out his heart...of how we are just living our lives as if nothing different is going on...and as i have always believed that you should continue to live your life dispite what is going on...it changed my prayers....to include those fighting for our beautiful country...those that are willing to give their lives for our freedom and safety...
it was a fun day...i met some wonderful new friends...saw some excited acrobats with "huge" machinary ;o)...and it helped me to remember...to keep our military in our prayers...and to honor them...
when i had my corner office...with its big windows...my office would be the prime spot...you literally could sit there...and in seconds they would appear...right outside...so close...so fast...so scary...
saturday i had the opportunity to go to the blue angels air show...now this is a whole different experience...to sit and see the whole show up above...i just sat in awe of the formation and synchronization...and at such speed...
it was quite the full day...it started with the "parade of ships"...it would have been nice to see the ship tours..but that was scheduled for sunday...this was followed by the air show...one of my favorites was the "canadian forces snowbirds"...they looked like 9 red birds soaring through the blue sky...
but everyone was anticipating and waiting for the highlight of the day...the grand finale..with the blue angels...and they did not disappoint...
all in all...my favorites were the nose-dives...i held my breath every single time...saying a silent prayer that they would be ok...
it was also an emotional day...there were hundreds of thousands of people there...family and friends gathered...there were many moving moments...at times overwhelming...a sense of pride and respect for the armed forces...there were times that some would walk by in uniform...and it was wonderful to see such thankfulness and respect poured out towards them...
it reminded me of a sermon that i had heard a while back by pastor Joel Osteen...he had been talking how he had gone to the mall...and as he sat and watched all the people bustling around...he couldn't believe that we were a nation at war...i remember how it hit me...as he poured out his heart...of how we are just living our lives as if nothing different is going on...and as i have always believed that you should continue to live your life dispite what is going on...it changed my prayers....to include those fighting for our beautiful country...those that are willing to give their lives for our freedom and safety...
it was a fun day...i met some wonderful new friends...saw some excited acrobats with "huge" machinary ;o)...and it helped me to remember...to keep our military in our prayers...and to honor them...
Friday, October 10, 2008
guilty...
the minute i saw the faces of my two cats this morning...i knew something was up...
as i got out of bed and started walking out of my bedroom...there they sat...both of them at the door...looking up at me...hmmm...that is strange...as they both let out a tiny meow...as if to say..."hi mom...remember us?...we are the cuties you love so much?"
i proceeded to the bathroom...they followed behind me...and once again...planted themselves at the door...looking up at me adoringly...hmmm...that is strange...as they both let out a tiny meow again...
as i started down the stairs...they bolted ahead of me...and planted themselves in front of the kitchen entrance...hmmm...that is strange...and as they let out another tiny meow...it all made sense...
my once clean kitchen floor had dry cat food strewn across it...little tiny morsels everywhere...and when i say everywhere....i mean everywhere!
so...did they both do it? was it only one that was responsible? i couldn't tell...they both acted guilty...it was rather funny...well...funny for a moment...i mean they are cats...so there is only one who can clean it all up...well...i guess i could just leave it till they eat it all up...;o) yes...for a split second i did think that...
the problem was...all i was thinking about was coffee...so i had two choices...clean it up or walk on it to get to the coffee pot to make my coffee....i chose the adult response...although i wasn't happy...and there punishment was...no canned food for you today! doesn't seem like much...but that is huge for them...
as i have sat at my computer all morning...they have both individually come over to me...gave me there best "cute adorable" look...as if to say...am i forgiven? are you still mad at me? can i get some canned food now?
so before you all start thinking...ok - she has gone of the deep end...thinking her cat's are speaking to her...i will say...they do have their own personalities and quirks...and they do act differently when they have done something wrong...which at times amazes me...
and...i'm losing the battle...i'm sure with a few more looks...they will win...and they will get their canned food...i think had they known how to clean it all up...they would have...but hey...they are cats...although...i'm sure had it been canned cat food strewn all over the kitchen floor...ok...just the thought sickens me...there would not have been a trace of there shenanigans...
as i got out of bed and started walking out of my bedroom...there they sat...both of them at the door...looking up at me...hmmm...that is strange...as they both let out a tiny meow...as if to say..."hi mom...remember us?...we are the cuties you love so much?"
i proceeded to the bathroom...they followed behind me...and once again...planted themselves at the door...looking up at me adoringly...hmmm...that is strange...as they both let out a tiny meow again...
as i started down the stairs...they bolted ahead of me...and planted themselves in front of the kitchen entrance...hmmm...that is strange...and as they let out another tiny meow...it all made sense...
my once clean kitchen floor had dry cat food strewn across it...little tiny morsels everywhere...and when i say everywhere....i mean everywhere!
so...did they both do it? was it only one that was responsible? i couldn't tell...they both acted guilty...it was rather funny...well...funny for a moment...i mean they are cats...so there is only one who can clean it all up...well...i guess i could just leave it till they eat it all up...;o) yes...for a split second i did think that...
the problem was...all i was thinking about was coffee...so i had two choices...clean it up or walk on it to get to the coffee pot to make my coffee....i chose the adult response...although i wasn't happy...and there punishment was...no canned food for you today! doesn't seem like much...but that is huge for them...
as i have sat at my computer all morning...they have both individually come over to me...gave me there best "cute adorable" look...as if to say...am i forgiven? are you still mad at me? can i get some canned food now?
so before you all start thinking...ok - she has gone of the deep end...thinking her cat's are speaking to her...i will say...they do have their own personalities and quirks...and they do act differently when they have done something wrong...which at times amazes me...
and...i'm losing the battle...i'm sure with a few more looks...they will win...and they will get their canned food...i think had they known how to clean it all up...they would have...but hey...they are cats...although...i'm sure had it been canned cat food strewn all over the kitchen floor...ok...just the thought sickens me...there would not have been a trace of there shenanigans...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
taking the next step...
somewhere in the middle of a conversation with a friend last night...we got to talking about a team building exercise that i "had" to partake of when i was working in corporate america many many years ago...
so for some reason...it just wasn't a surprise...when this morning...one of the daily devotions i read was about the same thing...it put a smile on my face...Godly reminders...
so...i am not really into putting myself into a position that causes fear...probably the reason i have never really been thrilled about roller coasters...rides in general...or horror movies..just not my idea of fun...
i remember when we were told about this joyous occasion...a weekend away in an undisclosed area...for team building activitites...oh joy! i definately was not thrilled...to say the least...but being that i was in a position of supervisor over 50+ people...i had to be somewhat excited...and bring my team with that same energy...
i'm sure i failed...
there are two specific exercises that have stayed with me through the years...
the first was simple enough...at least that is what i remember them saying...fall backwards into a group of people (your team) trusting that they would catch you...of course there were lots of jokes going back and forth...me being the boss...payback..etc...yeah...funny...
it was all about trust...there are times where we just can't do it on our own...are we going to trust those in our lives to catch us? it was liberating...realizing that we are not in this walk of life alone...at least we don't have to be...
the other exercise that had a huge impact on me was the climbing of the telephone pole...yeah...not on my list of things to accomplish...i remember climbing it...i remember the times i stopped...i remember the dialogue inside my head...what am i doing? this is crazy...i made it 3/4 of the way...which is alot more than i expected...i've "already" pushed through...i can stop now and still know that i went farther than i expected...
but then something happened...the voices in my head were quieted by the yelling from down below...my team members...yelling..."you can do it...you are almost there..." i remember stopping for a few minutes when i got to the top...it seemed like hours...there was the final move...i needed to step onto the top of the pole...and balance myself...and enjoy the view...enjoy the sense of huge accomplishment of walking through fear...
and then i did it! i took that final step...stood on top of this telephone pole..and felt like i had conquered the world...my legs were shaking...my heart was pounding...it was absolutely incredible...
it was the encouragement of my team...believing in me...believing in my strength...
what i learned that day...is that taking the next step is not always easy...but i also learned...that i am capable of alot more than i give myself credit for sometimes...and it is not because of who i am...but completely and solely based on who i belong to...it is because of who my God is...
as i was sharing with my friend last night...we talked about fear and how it can paralyze you...as i got off the phone...what i knew was that we were both going through similar seasons in our life...but we both knew...that not only were we there for each other...to catch each other's falls but also to encourage each other...and more than that...we knew that we were praying for each other...and that God was definately working in each of our lives...it was encouraging to see the tiny steps we had both taken to walk through the fear...and the fact that we were already seeing the view...although not completely clear...it was definately in sight...
so for some reason...it just wasn't a surprise...when this morning...one of the daily devotions i read was about the same thing...it put a smile on my face...Godly reminders...
so...i am not really into putting myself into a position that causes fear...probably the reason i have never really been thrilled about roller coasters...rides in general...or horror movies..just not my idea of fun...
i remember when we were told about this joyous occasion...a weekend away in an undisclosed area...for team building activitites...oh joy! i definately was not thrilled...to say the least...but being that i was in a position of supervisor over 50+ people...i had to be somewhat excited...and bring my team with that same energy...
i'm sure i failed...
there are two specific exercises that have stayed with me through the years...
the first was simple enough...at least that is what i remember them saying...fall backwards into a group of people (your team) trusting that they would catch you...of course there were lots of jokes going back and forth...me being the boss...payback..etc...yeah...funny...
it was all about trust...there are times where we just can't do it on our own...are we going to trust those in our lives to catch us? it was liberating...realizing that we are not in this walk of life alone...at least we don't have to be...
the other exercise that had a huge impact on me was the climbing of the telephone pole...yeah...not on my list of things to accomplish...i remember climbing it...i remember the times i stopped...i remember the dialogue inside my head...what am i doing? this is crazy...i made it 3/4 of the way...which is alot more than i expected...i've "already" pushed through...i can stop now and still know that i went farther than i expected...
but then something happened...the voices in my head were quieted by the yelling from down below...my team members...yelling..."you can do it...you are almost there..." i remember stopping for a few minutes when i got to the top...it seemed like hours...there was the final move...i needed to step onto the top of the pole...and balance myself...and enjoy the view...enjoy the sense of huge accomplishment of walking through fear...
and then i did it! i took that final step...stood on top of this telephone pole..and felt like i had conquered the world...my legs were shaking...my heart was pounding...it was absolutely incredible...
it was the encouragement of my team...believing in me...believing in my strength...
what i learned that day...is that taking the next step is not always easy...but i also learned...that i am capable of alot more than i give myself credit for sometimes...and it is not because of who i am...but completely and solely based on who i belong to...it is because of who my God is...
as i was sharing with my friend last night...we talked about fear and how it can paralyze you...as i got off the phone...what i knew was that we were both going through similar seasons in our life...but we both knew...that not only were we there for each other...to catch each other's falls but also to encourage each other...and more than that...we knew that we were praying for each other...and that God was definately working in each of our lives...it was encouraging to see the tiny steps we had both taken to walk through the fear...and the fact that we were already seeing the view...although not completely clear...it was definately in sight...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
50 lessons...
ok...believe it or not...i have so much i want to share today...so much on my heart...but it all seems so muddled in my head...i don't know what to focus on...so i am going in a whole different direction...just because i can ;o)
this is something that i periodically go back to...it is simple...it is true...and it is a great reminder...which is the reason why i always go back to it...
50 lessons life taught me...
For over 7 years, ...Regina Brett was a columnist at The Beacon Journal in Akron, Ohio. During that time, she was diagnosed and successfully treated for breast cancer. Regina is now a columnist for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio Her column runs on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.
'To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone, everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
this is something that i periodically go back to...it is simple...it is true...and it is a great reminder...which is the reason why i always go back to it...
50 lessons life taught me...
For over 7 years, ...Regina Brett was a columnist at The Beacon Journal in Akron, Ohio. During that time, she was diagnosed and successfully treated for breast cancer. Regina is now a columnist for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio Her column runs on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.
'To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone, everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
faith vs fear...
in my church the pastor has been doing a series on "godly garb - what to wear" based loosely on the tlc show "what not to wear" (one of my favorites)...so of course it caught my attention...for the past several weeks we have been going over the right "essentials" to be worn as we go into battle...
the week before last pastor allen spoke about "shoes"...you can imagine my delight when i walked into the sanctuary and the whole front of the church was full of all kinds of different shoes...i didn't spot any that i "had" to have...not that they were for sale or anything like that...but it was fun to look...
this week really caught my attention...pastor allen spoke about the shield...and how it is used to protect us...there were many scenes shown from battles to really illustrate the shield and how the men would walk forward straight towards the enemy. the big "news" of the day from the pastor...was...hey...you are going to have fiery darts thrown at you from time to time...it might seem like a lot lately...but you will have them...and you need to be prepared...
thanks pastor ;o)
what really hit me in his words this last sunday was when he spoke of fear and faith...and the difference of the two...pastor really focused on how we as humans "worry" way to much about tomorrow...and miss out on the day we are supposed to be living...hmmm...seems i've done that a time or two...
it was just another emphasis on the fact that...worrying about things completely out of your control...well...what does that get you? pastor talked alot about having faith always...but mostly during the times that we have fiery darts being thrown at us...
fiery darts can be anything from something minor - a friend irritating you...to something a lot bigger...a devastating loss...the enemy comes at us in all directions...we always need to be prepared...
ephesians 6:16 says "in addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one"...wow!
using faith as "armor" produces protection, obedience, God's favor and power...who wouldn't want these things? but most of all...faith produces the ability to stand...now i for one really like this one...to be able to stand tall in the midst of trials....knowing that your faith is all that is keeping you going...
pastor allen said one statement on sunday that really hit me hard...he said "we can have fear...or we can have faith...fear makes you take a step back...faith makes you take a step forward"...
my faith needs to based on who God is...not my circumstances...faith is simply believing God...it is a choice...i choose to take a step forward...
the week before last pastor allen spoke about "shoes"...you can imagine my delight when i walked into the sanctuary and the whole front of the church was full of all kinds of different shoes...i didn't spot any that i "had" to have...not that they were for sale or anything like that...but it was fun to look...
this week really caught my attention...pastor allen spoke about the shield...and how it is used to protect us...there were many scenes shown from battles to really illustrate the shield and how the men would walk forward straight towards the enemy. the big "news" of the day from the pastor...was...hey...you are going to have fiery darts thrown at you from time to time...it might seem like a lot lately...but you will have them...and you need to be prepared...
thanks pastor ;o)
what really hit me in his words this last sunday was when he spoke of fear and faith...and the difference of the two...pastor really focused on how we as humans "worry" way to much about tomorrow...and miss out on the day we are supposed to be living...hmmm...seems i've done that a time or two...
it was just another emphasis on the fact that...worrying about things completely out of your control...well...what does that get you? pastor talked alot about having faith always...but mostly during the times that we have fiery darts being thrown at us...
fiery darts can be anything from something minor - a friend irritating you...to something a lot bigger...a devastating loss...the enemy comes at us in all directions...we always need to be prepared...
ephesians 6:16 says "in addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one"...wow!
using faith as "armor" produces protection, obedience, God's favor and power...who wouldn't want these things? but most of all...faith produces the ability to stand...now i for one really like this one...to be able to stand tall in the midst of trials....knowing that your faith is all that is keeping you going...
pastor allen said one statement on sunday that really hit me hard...he said "we can have fear...or we can have faith...fear makes you take a step back...faith makes you take a step forward"...
my faith needs to based on who God is...not my circumstances...faith is simply believing God...it is a choice...i choose to take a step forward...
Monday, October 6, 2008
drenched in His love...
as i mentioned last week - my girlfriend had offered to buy my ticket for the women of faith conference...for three days she would try to buy our tickets online...wasn't working...spent time on the phone...wasn't working...finally she was told to just go an hour earlier to the event...to buy the ticket at the box office...
so we did just that...we got up early...with starbucks in hand...searching for the box office...it was a bit unnerving....as i didn't feel good about not having tickets...we arrived 50 minutes before the event was to start...found parking...found the box office...asked to buy two tickets...and then we were told..."you are in luck - we have two tickets together that were donated"
are you kidding me? (major God wink)
the conference theme was "infinite grace" - we were there for only one day so we didn't hear all the speakers...but the speakers we heard were incredible...patsy clairmont & marilyn meberg both spoke on God's grace...such different stories...but confirming for me...all that i had already been feeling in my heart...
nicole johnson and her incredible talent for drama - she is able to bring out in the open all that we women struggle with...and show it in such a way that leaves you speechless...but realizing what one needs to work on...
music by sandi patty, nicole c. mullen & mandisa - all i can say is "wow"...talk about power voices...the music and words they shared...again penetrated my heart...
last but not least...there was louise duart - who is amazing in her talent as an impressionist...she was hilarious...but then she ended with her testimony...and again...it penetrated my heart...
for me the day proved to be one of those days where you know you are where you need to be...
through words and music...it was confirmation that the recent choices and decisions that i had made in my life were the right ones...and that i was on the right track as to where i needed to be in my life...
isaiah 43:18-19 tells us:
"do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. behold I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."
many of the decisions that i have recently made were hard to make...and at times i remember feeling unsure of them...but i have clung to this verse as i made each choice...each decision...knowing that He's the God that makes a "roadway in the wilderness" and "rivers in the desert"
i can choose to look ahead instead of looking behind...and i can make choices now...and as i do...i believe that i will see God do something new in my life. so i choose to trust God in my future and not in past hurts...i believe God can make all things new, and that He can work ALL things to our good IF we believe in Him.
sitting in the conference - i completely felt drenched in His love...confirmation after confirmation let me know that what i am doing now is what i need to be doing...there is no better feeling than knowing that you are right where you need to be...and that is how i feel at this moment..
so we did just that...we got up early...with starbucks in hand...searching for the box office...it was a bit unnerving....as i didn't feel good about not having tickets...we arrived 50 minutes before the event was to start...found parking...found the box office...asked to buy two tickets...and then we were told..."you are in luck - we have two tickets together that were donated"
are you kidding me? (major God wink)
the conference theme was "infinite grace" - we were there for only one day so we didn't hear all the speakers...but the speakers we heard were incredible...patsy clairmont & marilyn meberg both spoke on God's grace...such different stories...but confirming for me...all that i had already been feeling in my heart...
nicole johnson and her incredible talent for drama - she is able to bring out in the open all that we women struggle with...and show it in such a way that leaves you speechless...but realizing what one needs to work on...
music by sandi patty, nicole c. mullen & mandisa - all i can say is "wow"...talk about power voices...the music and words they shared...again penetrated my heart...
last but not least...there was louise duart - who is amazing in her talent as an impressionist...she was hilarious...but then she ended with her testimony...and again...it penetrated my heart...
for me the day proved to be one of those days where you know you are where you need to be...
through words and music...it was confirmation that the recent choices and decisions that i had made in my life were the right ones...and that i was on the right track as to where i needed to be in my life...
isaiah 43:18-19 tells us:
"do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. behold I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."
many of the decisions that i have recently made were hard to make...and at times i remember feeling unsure of them...but i have clung to this verse as i made each choice...each decision...knowing that He's the God that makes a "roadway in the wilderness" and "rivers in the desert"
i can choose to look ahead instead of looking behind...and i can make choices now...and as i do...i believe that i will see God do something new in my life. so i choose to trust God in my future and not in past hurts...i believe God can make all things new, and that He can work ALL things to our good IF we believe in Him.
sitting in the conference - i completely felt drenched in His love...confirmation after confirmation let me know that what i am doing now is what i need to be doing...there is no better feeling than knowing that you are right where you need to be...and that is how i feel at this moment..
Friday, October 3, 2008
not your ordinary dinner and movie...
whoever invented girl's nite...was genious!
i don't know what it is about girl's nite - the conversation, the laughter, the tears...one never knows what direction it will go...but...it is always a pleasant surprise...
last nite was no exception...my sister-in-law, two nieces & i set out for our girl's nite...we decided we would "dress up" for the occasion...which was where the fun started...as we met...the first course of business was to admire and compliment each outfit and how it was put together...with our sexy heels and all...we proceeded to see the latest nicholas sparks story...well not the latest he had written - but the latest in movies..."nights in rodanthe" proved to be yet another...beautiful love story...and yes...of course...we cried....some more than others ;o) (read: major chick flick)
once the major criers had composed themselves...only one this time...(wasn't me) we headed over to the elephant bar...the dinner conversation was exhilarating - there were times we were laughing so hard...i remember sitting back at one point during dinner...and just listening to the laughter...and the discussion of so many subjects...but discussed with such different viewpoints...
and then it was time for dessert...we decided to share one dessert between the four of us...all i remember was that it was the biggest mound of chocolate goodness...we all looked at this massive dessert...and decided it was a good thing that we only ordered one...however...that massive mound of chocolate goodness...was gone...completely gone...even though we were sure that there was "no way" we could finish it...
our evening ended in the driveway with more talking and lots of laughing...we did not want the evening to end...because once again...there is something about the togetherness of women/ladies/girls...whatever you want to call us...sharing in emotions, hopes, dreams, hurts and fears...and all while having fun...
as i drove home...once again i thanked the Lord for blessing me with such incredible friends and family...sometimes it is easy to take for granted those who are in your life...as we pursue new adventures...sometimes it is difficult to make time for those who God has placed in our lives...
making time for relationships helps us in more ways than one...it not only enriches our lives...but gives us "safety" in being vulnerable with those we trust and know are there for us...but i believe it also allows us to see situations or possibility in a new light...
and...it opens up new activities...and...more opportunity for additional girl's nite out...what i know is that the next girl's nite will include a comedy...movie has already been chosen...and looks like another road trip is in the works...
stay tuned...
i don't know what it is about girl's nite - the conversation, the laughter, the tears...one never knows what direction it will go...but...it is always a pleasant surprise...
last nite was no exception...my sister-in-law, two nieces & i set out for our girl's nite...we decided we would "dress up" for the occasion...which was where the fun started...as we met...the first course of business was to admire and compliment each outfit and how it was put together...with our sexy heels and all...we proceeded to see the latest nicholas sparks story...well not the latest he had written - but the latest in movies..."nights in rodanthe" proved to be yet another...beautiful love story...and yes...of course...we cried....some more than others ;o) (read: major chick flick)
once the major criers had composed themselves...only one this time...(wasn't me) we headed over to the elephant bar...the dinner conversation was exhilarating - there were times we were laughing so hard...i remember sitting back at one point during dinner...and just listening to the laughter...and the discussion of so many subjects...but discussed with such different viewpoints...
and then it was time for dessert...we decided to share one dessert between the four of us...all i remember was that it was the biggest mound of chocolate goodness...we all looked at this massive dessert...and decided it was a good thing that we only ordered one...however...that massive mound of chocolate goodness...was gone...completely gone...even though we were sure that there was "no way" we could finish it...
our evening ended in the driveway with more talking and lots of laughing...we did not want the evening to end...because once again...there is something about the togetherness of women/ladies/girls...whatever you want to call us...sharing in emotions, hopes, dreams, hurts and fears...and all while having fun...
as i drove home...once again i thanked the Lord for blessing me with such incredible friends and family...sometimes it is easy to take for granted those who are in your life...as we pursue new adventures...sometimes it is difficult to make time for those who God has placed in our lives...
making time for relationships helps us in more ways than one...it not only enriches our lives...but gives us "safety" in being vulnerable with those we trust and know are there for us...but i believe it also allows us to see situations or possibility in a new light...
and...it opens up new activities...and...more opportunity for additional girl's nite out...what i know is that the next girl's nite will include a comedy...movie has already been chosen...and looks like another road trip is in the works...
stay tuned...
Thursday, October 2, 2008
happy birthday mom!
today is my mamacita's birthday...i just finished giving her a big hug and kiss...and told her that i love her...she is 68 years old today...
my relationship with my mom has not always been easy - we are very different from each other...but one thing that i have never doubted...is her love for me...she has given up many things so that my brothers and i would have...i am thankful for her love, her devotion, her encouragement...and mostly...her prayers...
in her room there is a framed poem that i gave her many many years ago...sometimes it makes me laugh that she still has it...prominently placed...i thought i would post that poem today...
my relationship with my mom has not always been easy - we are very different from each other...but one thing that i have never doubted...is her love for me...she has given up many things so that my brothers and i would have...i am thankful for her love, her devotion, her encouragement...and mostly...her prayers...
in her room there is a framed poem that i gave her many many years ago...sometimes it makes me laugh that she still has it...prominently placed...i thought i would post that poem today...
an iou paid in full!
one evening, a little girl named elena came up to her mother in the kitchen
while she was cooking dinner. she handed her a piece of paper that she had been writing on.
after her mom (ana) dried her hands on a cloth,
she read the following...
mom, would you please pay me for:
cleaning the bathrooms - $5.00
cleaning my room this week - $1.00
vacuuming and dusting - $2.50
taking out the garbage - $1.00
getting a good report card - $5.00
cleaning and raking the yard - $2.00
total owed: $16.50
well, ana looked at her standing there
and elena could see the memories flashing through her mind.
she picked up the pen, turned over the paper she'd written on
and wrote the following:
for years, i waited patiently for the Lord to give us a daughter - no charge.
for all the nights that i've sat up worrying about you - no charge.
for all the times i prayed for you - no charge.
for all the trying times and tears that you've caused through the years - no charge.
for all the nights that were filled with worries i knew were ahead - no charge.
for the toys, food, clothes and even wiping your nose - no charge, daughter.
when you add all of this up, the cost of my love is - no charge.
when elena finished reading what her mother had written,
there were big tears in her big brown eyes and she looked straight
up at ana and said,
"mom, i sure love you"
she then took the pen and in great big letters wrote:
"paid in full"
i love you mom!
kinda cheesy...i know...but my mom's love for me has been shown in more ways than i can count...she continues to want only the best for me...and most of all...i know she continually prays for God's best in my life...
my prayer for you...mom...is that you experience the love that you have so freely given to your family...i love you more than words can say...thank you for all you do...for all that you are!
i love you mom! happy birthday!!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
forever changed...
i am an avid reader...i have been known to read a book in a day...but on the average...i read one to two books a week...there are many books that have affected me in one way or another...but never never have i been so affected as with the last book that i have read...next to the bible...
i just finished reading "the shack" by wm. paul young...it was recommended to me by a friend...but i forgot about it...and then one day while at target...i saw it sitting there...and decided to grab it...
"the shack" is a fictional story about a man faced with tragedy and his opinions of where God is in a world so filled with pain that is unexplainable...
this is the first book ever...that the minute i finished the last page...all i wanted to do was start reading the book again...it impacted me in ways i will never be able to fully explain. the story gave such an incredible visual picture in portraying the God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
i lost count at how many times i heard myself say "wow" (out loud) after reading a sentence...i laughed, cried, and truly saw how at times it is so easy to put the Lord in this nice little package we have created in our minds...and how we limit in our minds and hearts who God truly is...and His amazing love and mercy to a world that is so undeserving.
in a world full of pain and sorrow...leaving us so many times with situations that leave us asking why - i am realizing how much we are shielded - things that we want so badly to understand...but do not realize that we really could not handle understanding the true meaning behind everything that happens...i believe that life would be a lot simpler if we just accepted what is, instead of trying to fit it into our preconceived notions of what should be.
one of the hardest things to grasp is the harshness in this world...and knowing that God does not cause them...but He certainly can stop them...and grasping with that knowledge...realizing that there are reasons beyond our human eyes...to allow pain and hurt and suffering rather than to stop it...but it is something that we may never understand with our human eyes. God is not evil...we are the ones that make choices in life...but our choices are not stronger than His purposes...and that ultimately God will use every choice we make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome. the means, the ends, and all the processes of our individual lives...it is all covered by His goodness...and even though we do not understand what He is doing...we need only to trust Him.
all that the Father wants from us is relationship. for us to trust Him completely with every area of our life...even when we look at it...and see nothing...nothing that makes sense...nothing that is the way we had envisioned it...just to trust Him...
and one step further...to then work on relationships in our lives...to be loving with the same love He shares with us...to realize that it is not our job to change anyone, to convince anyone...to simply love without an agenda...
this book highlighted living a life of expectancy rather than expectation (there is a vast difference between the two), true forgiveness, and relationship...having relationship with the Lord as well as those in our life with no expectation...
"the shack" is a beautiful story of how God comes to find us wherever we are in the midst of our sorrows and disappointments. He finds us where we are when we have been betrayed by our own expectations of life...He doesn't push...He patiently waits for us to turn to Him and then He takes us and lovingly protects us.
i just finished reading "the shack" by wm. paul young...it was recommended to me by a friend...but i forgot about it...and then one day while at target...i saw it sitting there...and decided to grab it...
"the shack" is a fictional story about a man faced with tragedy and his opinions of where God is in a world so filled with pain that is unexplainable...
this is the first book ever...that the minute i finished the last page...all i wanted to do was start reading the book again...it impacted me in ways i will never be able to fully explain. the story gave such an incredible visual picture in portraying the God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
i lost count at how many times i heard myself say "wow" (out loud) after reading a sentence...i laughed, cried, and truly saw how at times it is so easy to put the Lord in this nice little package we have created in our minds...and how we limit in our minds and hearts who God truly is...and His amazing love and mercy to a world that is so undeserving.
in a world full of pain and sorrow...leaving us so many times with situations that leave us asking why - i am realizing how much we are shielded - things that we want so badly to understand...but do not realize that we really could not handle understanding the true meaning behind everything that happens...i believe that life would be a lot simpler if we just accepted what is, instead of trying to fit it into our preconceived notions of what should be.
one of the hardest things to grasp is the harshness in this world...and knowing that God does not cause them...but He certainly can stop them...and grasping with that knowledge...realizing that there are reasons beyond our human eyes...to allow pain and hurt and suffering rather than to stop it...but it is something that we may never understand with our human eyes. God is not evil...we are the ones that make choices in life...but our choices are not stronger than His purposes...and that ultimately God will use every choice we make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome. the means, the ends, and all the processes of our individual lives...it is all covered by His goodness...and even though we do not understand what He is doing...we need only to trust Him.
all that the Father wants from us is relationship. for us to trust Him completely with every area of our life...even when we look at it...and see nothing...nothing that makes sense...nothing that is the way we had envisioned it...just to trust Him...
and one step further...to then work on relationships in our lives...to be loving with the same love He shares with us...to realize that it is not our job to change anyone, to convince anyone...to simply love without an agenda...
this book highlighted living a life of expectancy rather than expectation (there is a vast difference between the two), true forgiveness, and relationship...having relationship with the Lord as well as those in our life with no expectation...
"the shack" is a beautiful story of how God comes to find us wherever we are in the midst of our sorrows and disappointments. He finds us where we are when we have been betrayed by our own expectations of life...He doesn't push...He patiently waits for us to turn to Him and then He takes us and lovingly protects us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
