seasons come and seasons go...

one of my favorite seasons is fall...i love the changing of the leaves...all the spectacular colors...red, yellow and orange...bursting forth...of course...here in the bay area...it may be one out of every three trees...but none the less...i look for those trees...

traveling to the east coast...the differences in the fall trees were vast in the fall...every tree was full of color...bursting with amazing colors...

the thing about seasons...is that although there is a beginning and an end...some seasons i always wish lasted longer...but i have reassurance that in the coming year...i will be able to enjoy my favorite season...again...

but what about seasons in friendships?

i have always believed that there are seasons in our life...and people enter them...sometimes for just a season...sometimes for a lifetime...

i have had to end some friendships where the season was dwindling out...the decision was hard...but i knew that these were people that were toxic in my life...and the cost of keeping them around was doing more harm than good...this decision also came after many many failed attempts to try and work out our differences...but...in the end...they knew the reasons for the decision...

but what about when a friendship ends...and you have no idea why? the questions can overwhelm you if you let them...

i guess the best way to describe the feeling - well it is sort of like being discarded...like a piece of trash...so what do you do with these feelings?

i choose to focus on the person i am...because once again...i am the only one whose actions i can control...i have always been one who treasures my friendships... friendship is something that takes work...it takes time...and it takes commitment...

for those who really know me...you know my friendships mean everything to me...and when given the chance...i give whole-heartedly to them...do i risk the chance of being hurt? probably...but i believe it is a risk worth taking...

because of it i have incredible friends in my life...but recently i have focused on the recent friend who decided to walk away...the funny thing is that there is really nothing i could have done differently...this person knew that there was nothing i wouldn't do for them...and for many many years...i believe that i gave my all...even when they had nothing to give back...and was told on many occasions of how i was appreciated...how i was "always there for them"

and then we went from talking every day to silence...

so if i wanted to...i'm sure that i could think of the "maybe" as to why my good was not good enough...but i need to go back to seasons...just as they come and go...so do friendships...sometimes by our decisions...sometimes not...

to build a friendship and to keep one from dying - well it requires work...and it requires intimacy...intimacy in sharing each others fears, loves and dreams...there are ways to provide opportunities for intimacy, but true intimacy involves communication. sooner or later you have to share with a friend if you want the friendship to be meaningful.

we all crave deep friendships. we were born with a need for them...for connection...but they don't come just by wanting them, they come as we give the time, share the dreams of our hearts, and are willing to be intimate. i like this saying: "a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." but they can only sing it back if you have shown your heart...

so in this season...i will continue to be the best friend that i can be to my friends...and i will keep my heart open for friends...

friends, who all start out just as people you meet, are truly one of heaven's greatest gifts to you...
and who knows...you could meet one of the best friends you will ever have next week! and so...another season begins...