honest prayers...

my one friend is struggling...i wish i could just reach in and change his situation...but i can't...what i can do...is be there for him...and keep him in my prayers...

one of our most recent conversations...he was having a hard time dealing with his prayer life...not that he didn't have one...but he was feeling a little guilty...i guess is the right word...for being a little too honest with God...

i remember how we laughed when he said that...we both know that you can't be too honest with God...especially since He already knows what is in our hearts...

i have had those conversations with God...i mean...who of us has not grown frustrated with God over situations in our lives? who of us has not gone to Him and poured out those feelings in prayer?

through out the bible...there are so many who had gut-wrenching conversations with God...there was habakkuk...who starts his book with "how long, o Lord, must i call for help, but You do not listen? or cry out to you, "violence!" but You do not save me"...

God's answer to habakkuk was to be patient and to watch...that He would do amazing things and usher in justice...but only in His timing...

passionate, honest, gut-level prayers have been recorded through out the bible...moses, gideon, and elijah all questioned God...job even cursed the day God made him and said, "i loathe my very life"

what i know...is that we do not see what He sees...and that is hard to remember at times...we can sometimes feel that God is no where to be found...and we usually feel this way in times of severe suffering or testing...God knows our deepest thoughts and feelings, so its futile to think we can hide them from Him...better to come clean with how we really feel, get it off our chest in prayer, and hopefully clear the way to hear and receive God's reply or comfort...

i've complained to God in the past for allowing my loved ones to die or fall deep into sin, for allowing valuable things to be stolen from me, for allowing my reputation to be unfairly tarnished, for allowing physical suffering in my body, or for not allowing what i felt i deserved...my goal is to be a woman of faith who can take such things in stride with Him...but when i'm losing that stride, i've found the best thing i can do is honestly take these feelings to God where they can be traded for His perspective and His comforting assurance...

though God does not always change my circumstances the way i want Him to, He can and does change my perspective on those circumstances...enabling me to endure them...

God listens when we complain about injustice...He understands when we feel shortchanged or opposed...i think the best thing we can do is to just be honest before God in prayer...while maintaining a holy respect for Him and thanksgiving for His saving grace...pour out the good, the bad and the ugly of our feelings...as habakkuk, job and others discovered...God can handle our intense emotions and questions...He may not explain Himself fully to us...perhaps because we can't fully understand...but what i do know...because i have experienced it...He will flood you with His love when you come humbly and honestly before Him and pour out your heart...