i was out with some friends the other night...and as always...we got on the normal subjects...shoes, handbags, clothes & men =)
somehow we got to talking about past relationships...we were all putting our two cents in...so to speak...at the end of the evening...one of the girls pulled me aside...she looked me straight in the eyes and said the following..."knowing how horribly hurt and betrayed you were by your last relationship...it baffles me how you have nothing but kind things to say...it speaks volumes of what he missed out on"
ok...i must admit...it really warmed my heart...i smiled...because i know the steps i went to...to get to this point...i had the tears...the anger...the emotional roller coaster...but in the final analysis of it all...i got to the point that i wanted to hold on to the fact that at one time...this person meant the world to me...and there was a reason for that...there were things about him that i fell in love with...and i just didn't want to live my life being angry and bitter...
so many times we hold on much longer that we should...painfully...unnecessarily...nursing and rehearsing what the other party did to assault our hearts...we cling to a relationship gone wrong or to romanticized memories of that which is no longer, afraid that if we release them we will have nothing left to talk about...it is difficult to see the other side of the darkness...around that distant corner...
what does the future hold? will there be someone to love and protect me the way i've always longed to be loved and protected? or will my life become a vast wasteland of nothingness?
refusing to release those memories and unfruitful relationships, or simply dressing up our memories of love gone awry and living off them for a season, prevents us from discovering the gift God has for us...holding on only leaves us with empty, aching arms...hearts too fatigued to hope anymore...spririts grown dry from the despondency that comes from not moving forward...
let go...whatever you're clinging to, let it go...the anger...the longing...the dismay...the questions...don't try to figure it out...what went wrong...who was right...don't try to make sense of it...most of it doesn't make sense anyway...there is probably no explanation that could satisfy you right now...maybe ever...
let go...do not allow yourself to be dragged through regrets and other unvictorious patterns...to hold on is to be held captive by your offender's lack of regard or enslaved by your own disappointment and ravaged self-esteem...to hold on is to bind yourself to all that will hinder you from receiving the things you long for...
remember - today will soon pass...prior experience has shown that it is possible to love again...after we bleed and we heal, we will live to use once-damaged members again...do not fear the unknown...embrace it...for it offers escape from your pain...but before you can take hold of tomorrow, you must let go of today...
it's your choice...when you grow sick and tired of being sick and tired...push the plate away and select from another menu..choose your thoughts and conversations wisely...close your eyes, open your hands, and dare to taste something new...believe that He has something better to serve than what you've already tasted...let Him take that old plate away and give you something fresh...something you can feel...something that will finally satisfy your deepest longings...something real...
let go...hanging on to the hurt and anger won't change a thing...it will only deepen your embarrassment...you are not the first one to make a mistake, and you won't be the last...you're actually more normal that you think...cause it has been proven...the counterfeit always comes before the blessing...so face the music...whether you like the song or not...call the entire experience exactly what it was...a passing moment of deception designed to trip you up...don't let it...let it go...
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