how God answers prayer...

yes...i do believe with all my heart that God answers prayer...and sometimes...that answer is no...

then there are those times...where things just fall apart...and you have no answer...yes, no or maybe...and you are left fluttering around...trying to make sense of it all...

and then the work begins...the letting go...i don't know why this is so hard for me...and so many...i'm sure for me...a lot of it is the control issue =)...so not good...

i have had a few times in my life where God so incredibly took over a situation in my life...that there is no way...no how...that you could explain it...other than the hand of God being completely in it...

now...i am not saying that God's hand has only been in my life a few times...but these specific that i am thinking about...they were those moments...where you sit back and all you can utter is a muttered..."wow"...

and you sit in amazement...almost in shock that it happened...those moments for me were first so overwhelming...because they were true outright blatant showers of God's love for me...they were the "no denying it" God moments...overwhelming in that...you sit and think...surely God has got other things to be dealing with...but He took this moment...to show me...love...in the midst of some pretty hairy situations...

and then their are those moments...where the answers don't come...and you finally get to the point...in your head and in your heart...that the dream is dead...and you learn to move on...

i had a dream so many years ago...and although i knew in my heart that it was a good dream...everything was working against it...no one supported me in it...which that in itself was pretty hard to handle...but i kept praying...and the circumstances of it...just stood still...and i couldn't get a read from the Lord...do i move forward? do i keep pressing on? or...do i let this dream die?

the dream has since died...it died many years ago...and i was ok with that...stopped thinking about it...

until a few weeks ago...conversations out of the blue...situations that only God could perform...and now i sit...with the possiblity of this dream...from so many years ago...possibly birthing into a reality...so completely not how i had imagined it so many years ago...but so much better...and easier...i find myself...a little nervous...and a lot excited...

i always hear how God's timing is perfect...and i know that to be true...and i always hear how His way for a dream is perfect...and i know that to be true...there are still those moments...where you feel like..."can this really be happening to me?"

what i know to be true...and still find amazing...is that He answers prayer on His time...not mine...and being that i can only see with my human eyes...i'd much rather rely on Him...He sees far beyond what i ever could...