the awakening...

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst
of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a
child, quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to
subside. You shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and
through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through
new eyes. This is your AWAKENING.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something
to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not
Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world
there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with YOU,
and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone
will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are. And
that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions and you
learn the importance of loving and championing yourself -- and in the
process, a sense of newly found confidence is born of self approval.

You stop criticizing and blaming other people for the things they did
to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you
can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't
always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone
will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So,
you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the
process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people
as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties --
and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of
forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world
around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have
been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all
the nonsense you've been fed about how you should behave, how you
should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where
you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live,
what you should do for a living, who you should marry, what you should
expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children,
or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and
different points of view.

And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you
really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and
needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've
outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with - and in the
process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is
power and glory in creating and contributing, and you stop maneuvering
through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You
learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together
the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save
the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to
distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of
setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only
cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get
burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to
love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk
away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings into a
relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more
lovable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the
child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as
they really are and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn
that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. And you learn
that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to
make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you
will never be a size 8 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete
with the image inside your head and agonizing whether you make the grade

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. And that it is your right to
want things and to ask for the things that you want. And that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the
realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness,
sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less.

You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify
you with his or her touch and in the process, you internalize the
meaning of self-respect and you learn that your body really is your
temple.

You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and
fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the
body, laughter fuels our souls, so you take more time to laugh and to
play. You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you
believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working
for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from
working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need
direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one
can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber
baron of all time - FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and
through your fears, because you know what whatever happens you can
handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live
life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to
squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that
life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you
deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You
learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.

It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - THE EGO.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment
must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out
of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit
when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn
to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we
take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can
only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft
warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and
you try to make yourself a promise; to never betray yourself and to
never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a
wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you
make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to
every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand - you take a
deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best
as you can.

That is your and my AWAKENING!

~ author unknown