lesson learned...

what i've learned this week...well actually what i've always known...but chose to ignore...

intimacy without responsibility always leads to heartbreak...someone will always get hurt...the most devastating thing about this week has been to give my all to a relationship, only to discover that i was on the path to nowhere. i felt i had taken the right path and found myself victim to my own sincerity and honest effort.

my relationship was misleading in that it was wrapped in the guise of "friendship." my heart screams out to you...guard your heart when someone says, "we are just friends," but continues to make intimate overtures in conversation and other gestures that make you hope for more. when someone dangles the inviting carrot of a promising relationship before you, he may be making that same commitment to someone else...but able to absolve himself by reminding you, "we are just friends"

i think the worst part of all this is the rejection that follows - you feel rejection and betrayal...and instead of being outraged by his dishonesty and insensitivity, you may begin to question your own worth: what's wrong with me? what did i do wrong? why wasn't my love returned?

it these feelings are allowed to simmer...they will eventually bear the fruit of bitterness...i refuse to go there...and thankfully...my friends surrounding me will not allow me to go there...

i went yesterday to the ice cream shop where one of my nieces works...i just needed a treat...ice cream seemed to be the right fix at the moment...

as i walked in - she gave me an extra big hug...then she served me up a scoop of the most divine dutch chocolate...and then as i left...she gave me an extra long hug...

now thats the way to get love! last nite...she followed it up with the most heartfelt email to me - it solidified what i already knew...but it meant the world to hear it from her...thanks doll!

what i know is that no one is exempt from hurt or from heartache at some point in their life. i think that the process is to allow yourself to grieve over lost love - but for a time...i have allowed myself to cry...i have allowed myself to be angry...i've drowned my sorrow in ice cream...i think i still need a round of shopping therapy ;o)...but i know that i know that i will be able to move on...

i am thankful for lessons learned...i am thankful that in the midst of sadness...i am surrounded by more love than some people have in a lifetime...and above all...i have a God who has never let go of me...i choose to place my broken fragile heart in His capable hands for safekeeping and allow Him to guard my affections going forward.