this is the time of my life...

ok...other than really really lovin david cook's voice...the most recent american idol winner...his first song has really been my "go to" song this week...i posted the lyrics to the song at the end of this post...

i had my hopes kinda wrapped up and geared toward one direction...and when that one hope shattered in front of me in a matter of a phone call...it really made me sit and take notice...how easy it was for me to grab onto something that never really was mine...but in my head...i somehow managed to justify the good of the situation (and there were many good moments)...and ignore the not so good...the not so good consisted more of settling for scraps instead of someone giving me there whole heart...

this song talks about "this" being the time of my life...i really want to live that way...to not have tunnel vision when pursuing one hope...i don't believe that there is anything wrong with pursuing something that you want or hope for...but when it stands in the way of seeing other hopes and dreams...or pursuing just the one...it could all come crashing down...

i honestly did not see that i had wrapped so much of me in one dream...until it came crashing down...at that moment...all i could muster up was..."now what?" i couldn't believe that i couldn't think of any other hopes and dreams that i had...because i had put all my focus on the one...and when left with nothing...it made me take a good long look at so many dimensions of that...

i love that i give my all to relationships...friends or otherwise...the danger comes in forcing something that should happen naturally...when it's a hope or dream...when do you stop "trying" and realize that the "trying" has become obsessive and limits you from other hopes and dreams that are ready to be revealed...

in this song it speaks about "i'll taste every moment"...i want to live like that...to be so in awe of every moment in my life...every time spent with those who love me...hearing the laughter in a child...the flowers blooming in my garden...the sunrise...

i want to get back to lost loves...travel, the ballet, the opera, the symphony...there was a time in my life where i couldn't wait to experience new things...to share my loves with others...i was the "go to" person for info on the best new restaurant...what events were the events to go to...somewhere all of those were put on the sidelines...because i wanted this one dream to come true...with the one peson who i thought it would come true with...

how sad to waste life...waiting for something that may never come...and in the meantime...all this wonderful "life" is happening around me...

this song resonates what i am going back to...this was the way i lived at one time...somewhere i lost me...this week has been so refreshing for me...in losing a dream i gained "me" back...
as i told my best friend this week..."i felt like i lost everything i dreamed for...but now i am in such a great position..because all i have now to look forward to are God's wonderful surprises"
what could be better than that...seriously!

so i will taste every moment and live it out loud...this is the time of my life...

"the time of my life"

I’ve been waiting for my dreams

To turn into something

I could believe in

And looking for that

Magic rainbow

On the horizon

I couldn’t see it

Until I let go

Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn

Now I’m coming alive

Body and soul

And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time

To be more than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished

Into the air

Left me in pieces

But now I’m rising from the ashes

Finding my wings

And all that I needed

Was there all along

Within my reach

As close as the beat of my heart

and I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time to be

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever

Ready to run

I’m keeping my feet on the ground

Arms open wide

Face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment

And live it out loud

I know this is the time,

This is the time to be

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life

Time of my life

More than a name

Or a face in the crowd

This is the time

This is the time of my life.

This is the time of my life.