christmas after blues...

the day after christmas...

weird feeling...to say the least...to early to be thinking of new years eve...but yet...all the preparation for christmas...now done...over with...

if i were honest...as i try to be on my blog...it is a bit of a disappointment...not because of christmas...because christmas was wonderful...but the fact that it is over...just like that...

i am back home...after a whirlwind of get-togethers...and celebrations...and i'm tired...really tired...but it is a good feeling...a feeling of fullness...i got my fill of love...laughter...new memories...and togetherness with everyone i wanted to be with...

my tree is still lit...the lights are still twinkling...but there is a bit of sadness that seems to linger in the air...

but as i think about that...i can't quite put my finger on why...because although the holiday is over...the feelings of togetherness and family and love and laughter...well...they continue...

celebrations just need to continue in other ways...

if truth be told...i am pretty excited about ending this year...not because i'm rushing to get any older ;o)...but i...for the first time...in a really long time...feel really good about my future...i'm not quite sure why...but i do...so i will leave it at that...and not try and explain something that i don't even understand...

what i know...is that this was a year of learning...i learned some hard lessons...but i faced them head on...took the lessons...applied the lessons...and became stronger and more aware of what i want and don't want in my life...i also learned more about myself...how i so easily can put myself on the back burner...for others...while there is really nothing wrong with that...i learned that...i can't contribute fully to others...when i am not complete...

i am finally realizing what is really important in my life...what i want in my life...

so as i am a little sad that christmas is over...and i need to once again...pack away the decorations...the music...

i focus on all the good that i can look forward to...

here's an early toast to a new year...here's looking forward to wonderful 09...