the courage to forgive...

yesterday i had courage on the brain...and today...i wanted to continue a bit on that...but talk about forgiveness...

forgiveness is a tough subject...i believe it takes courage to forgive...

the thing with forgiveness is that some people want to wait until they feel like forgiving to forgive...i don't know about you...but i do not really feel like forgiving...forgiveness does not come out of my feelings...but my will...i will to forgive...i make the choice to forgive...

if i were honest...as i want to be in my blog...when someone hurts me or lies to me or about me...my reaction is to "make" that person realize what they have done...but that is not in my control...i have learned that for my life to move forward unhindered...i must be a forgiver...

horace bushnell wrote "forgiveness is man's deepest need and God's highest achievement"

the truth is...i have been forgiven WAY more than i deserved...by my creator...i have also been forgiven by my friends and family when i have made stupid choices...or let them down...or when i have said something wrong...who am i to hold on to unforgiveness?

i think where people get hung up on forgiveness is that in some way they feel that by doing so...they are saying that the offense was ok...but that is not the way forgiveness works...offering forgiveness doesn't mean pretending the mistake didn't happen...it just means acknowledging it and moving on...

as i think back to one of my past relationships...one of the things that was done wrong...was that nothing was talked about...i would forgive...and move on...and not talk about the offense...

don't just open up your heart again to be hurt if you haven't talked about what went wrong...if you need to set boundaries...do so...

the hardest part...offering forgiveness means letting go of the offense whether or not the other person says, "i'm sorry." so go ahead...and be the first...don't wait to start forgiving until the other person says they are sorry too...if you wait for an apology before you begin to forgive, you are putting the power to forgive in the other person's hands when it belongs in yours...

i have learned that relationships grow on forgiveness, not perfection...offenses are bound to come...so let's be ready to forgive...

forgiveness takes courage and can be difficult for us because it pulls against "our" concept of justice...we are human...we want revenge for the hurt we have suffered...we may not say that out loud...but we do think it...well...i know i have...

do not forgive a person for their sake...forgive for your sake...so that you may be free...

let's be courageous...and willing to forgive each other...i know that i...do not want to grow up to be a litte old lady full of bitterness...

imagine what a better world we would live in if more people forgave...